Apr 26, 2018
hurr durr ima anon who thinks im hot shit because i tell people to kill myself, bluh, im sooooooooooo cooooooooool
i already have myself to do that. applications are closed
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hurr durr ima anon who thinks im hot shit because i tell people to kill myself, bluh, im sooooooooooo cooooooooool
i already have myself to do that. applications are closed
me everyday: im Depressed
me on Halloween: im Depressed in a funky outfit
im not feeling too litty my dudes
that depression hit me at least 3 times more than it usually does so im feeling self destructive rn & Not Okay™️
im not even gonna bullshit people anymore im done im just gonna open w "im depressed" and let that be my excuse for not doin shit now
every other week i take the stance to slowly ween off talking to anyone so they don't notice the loss when i d!3 but this is halted by the simple fact that I cannot shut the fuck up & I love to infodump
vent tw // depressive tw
genuinely i am so. i barely have the mental strength to exist on a daily basis let alone make myself slough through all this shit like. my exam is tomorrow. its the entire syllabus. i don't know shit and i can't study because im stuck staring at a wall reliving Life's Worst Hits compilation in my brain matrix style
and i just. there's no way i get out of this. i just want to focus on my art/writing bc. even tho i barely have any energy to do those either they just. mean so much to me. and i know fuckn.. followers don't mean shit but they do bc they're representative of ur arts success and that's not working either like. i don't want pity likes or pity follows. but I cant do the tangible study part of it either. but i can't focus on art bc that's just not taking off nor is it showing any signs of doing so. and I'm just. im so gd tired i just want to crawl into a hole and never move again i don't want to study i don't want to watch the stupid movies I don't want to write i don't want to draw i just. i want to ram my head face first into perfectly placed knives that'll kill me instantly
How many more years I wonder...
Does everything suck and am I as awful as I think or do i just need to eat a sandwich and go to bed, a public service announcement by me