‘IT’
((This story is something I've had in my mind awhile. It happened in a roleplay I did, except I never got to play it out or do anything with it. We kinda just said that it happened. So before reading you need to know that the main character in this lost her wife, she is also losing her mind. WARNING! THIS STORY IS EXTREMELY DARK, IT HAS A DEPRESSING FEEL. THE CHILD IN THE STORY DOES DIE. IF THAT IS SOMETHING THAT BOTHERS YOU, PLEASE DON'T READ. ))
What started as something so simple, a child we had made. Something we had both wanted, you were so happy when I told you. We had been wanting this for awhile. Hell, I dare say we needed it. The past few years had been so hard on the two of us. It seemed like we were finally going to get a break but then, you were attacked and I wasn’t strong enough to protect you. You kept trying to protect me and keep me out of the fight. I know you meant well- I know it. But, you died because of me- because of the child what was supposed to be our child. Now you’re gone and none of that even matters anymore.
A wave of pain broke my train of thought. My left hand reached out taking hold of the nearest tree as my right held my belly, trying to soothe the cramping sensation. When it passed I straightened up again and kept moving. I knew I was close to the cabin. I wanted to get there before ‘IT’ was born. I wanted to be alone. If I couldn’t have the woman I loved then I didn’t want anyone. She had died early in the pregnancy before I had a chance to tell anyone else about the baby and that was good, it worked in my favor. I spent a long time thinking about it and it wasn’t my fault I wasn’t strong enough to protect her, it was the baby. I wanted kids with Izzy, but not by myself.
I paused again as another pain hit me harder then I was expecting. Instinctively my legs moved apart threatening to give out on me. I could feel ‘IT’ moving down dropping lower and the pains were getting closer I was begging to worry that I wouldn’t make it to the cabin. As the pain finally eased I forced myself to relax as much as possible and kept walking. Walking only seemed to make the pains come faster. I wasn’t planning on it going like this, I thought it would be ok, this isn’t how I wanted to do it. Another pain forced me into a low squat, I held onto a nearby tree for support as I felt ‘IT’ move lower pressing down my his ached even in this position. I was aware of a loud groan but it took a moment to realize I was making the sound.
I didn’t want this, and it was hurting me. I wished I could just cut it out of me and be done with this. I wouldn’t have even cared if it killed me I just wanted this to be over, I didn’t want to deal with it. It had gotten my wife killed.
My groan of pain turned into a cry of agony was the pain hit a peak. I dropped down to my knees my hands on the ground rocking my hips. It helped some the pain lessened as did the pressure that had been building for the last few hours. That was when I realized that there was water on the ground. I let out a slow steady breath as I realized what had happened. Ever so slowly, I pushed myself to my feet and attempted to continue to the cabin.
I kept walking, I could feel ‘IT’ dropping lower with every contraction but it made slow progress. It had settled so low that I had to widen my stance as I moved. Contraction after contraction wracked my body but I was beyond reason. Beyond sanity, I had to get there before it was born. I wasn’t going to do this outside like the freak everyone thought I was. I wasn’t going to risk being found. I didn’t want help, I didn’t want anyone else. It was just me and the monster inside me. I could see the cabin up ahead just beyond the far tree line. I stopped debating whether or not I could make it. I was begging to feel the urge, the pressure was building and the thing inside me wanted out. I took a deep breath, I was less than a mile away now. The contractions were coming every few seconds and walking was making it worse. I was stumbling more than walking trying to resist the urge to push and rid myself of the thing- I wanted this to be over so badly. I was aware of my own cries the agony, the pressure something had to give I couldn’t do it anymore. I gave in to instinct, I wouldn’t make it to the cabin, I pushed dropping into a squat I felt the baby shift but not by much. I groaned as I realized it hadn’t made much progress. I tried again I felt it shift. It felt huge.
I began to worry it was going to kill me, just like it had gotten my wife killed. Another contraction, there was almost no rush between them. I crawled over to a nearby tree and put my back against it. I grabbed my legs to give myself some leverage. “AHHHH!” I cried out through gritted teeth. It was forcing me open wider than I ever thought possible. “GET OUT!” I cried, anger and pain taking over with the next contraction. I became very aware of a new sensation, I felt like someone was digging a knife into my back twisting the blade everytime the baby made progress. The sharp pain spread to my hips. Another push and a burning pain were added to the list of discomforts. I heard myself cry out again, frustration laced in my voice. My back arched as I tried to pull myself away from the pain.
Every contraction was shoving the head out more and more, it just kept coming. I had a feeling my wife would have made a joke at this point, tried to lighten the mood. She would have said the baby had a big head just like its mother. I would have been angry and then, we would have laughed about it. I screamed again, the scream turning into a low groan as I pushed pulling my legs towards me.
I felt the head reach its widest point pausing for a moment and then slipping out with a rush of fluid. I gasped trying to calm myself to pull in air. I reached a hand down brushing it against ‘IT’s’ face. Most mothers would have been happy, they would have gotten the motivation to continue, but not me. My only motivation was making this pain stop. I took a few moments to rest before the pain returned and I was back at it.
I soon realized I was no longer making progress, I could feel the shoulders, but the baby wasn’t moving. I began to worry that it was stuck, or rather that I would be stuck like this unable to get it out. The contractions were growing worse I tried to push but made almost no progress. I reached down and tried to pull on the child or perhaps twist it into another position but I only caused myself more pain.
Between contraction, I managed to pull myself up practically clawing the tree behind me I knew I needed gravity. Kneeling on the ground with my legs apart and hugging the tree for the support I pushed again. I felt something shift and the shoulders press against my opening. They were so wide, and there was no give. I cried out in agony as one stretched me open followed by the other. The contractions were so strong I couldn’t stop pushing, I had to get it out. Slowly both shoulders emerged and then the next contraction freed the rest of the monster. It fell to the ground with a thud. I gasped, exhaustion taking over but at least I was done, it was out. Slowly I reached down to pick up the child, her name was supposed to be Pandora. That was what we had talked about, but killers didn’t get names, monsters didn’t deserve to live. I knew someday I might regret my actions but I couldn’t think straight, I was so angry, so hurt. My hands wrapped around the child’s neck constricting its airways.
I killed it, I killed my baby just like it had killed my wife. I cut the cord, recovered a buried the thing the following morning. I never stopped to look back. I never thought about what might have been. It was supposed to be our child, not just mine. I spend a few weeks recovering and then went on my way. I was the only one besides my dead wife that knew about the child. That was the way I wanted to keep it. I guess I was meant to face the world alone and now I would have to.
