#desission

[jennue-hfm-97]

'Ich will hier raus...wieder nach vorne sehen; Ich will hier weg...wieder oben steh'n Alles vergessen, was einmal war, dann ist wieder alles wunderbar Ich will hier raus! Ich will hier weg!"

[jeannepienaar-blog]

Between a rock and a hard place

I am currently faced with making a very difficult decision - one that will affect my family's lives tremendously. I have to decide whether I am willing to sacrifice my own happiness and emotional security for my husband's passions and ambitions.

We've been talking non stop about this issue and have explored every option and alternative. I even phoned my mom earlier today with the knowledge that she would never encourage me to do what I want as she always sides with my husband (do all mothers in law do that?). But she surprised me in that she actually advised me that a marriage is all about compromising and I don't have to be prepared to compromise all of the time, but only 50% of the time, meaning that my husband should also not expect the impossible of me. This, you can imagine, left me nowhere closer to an answer, because I have an inherent desire to keep my husband happy and to assist him in accomplishing his dreams, but he would also not expect me to do so to my own detriment.

That is why I became elated when I came accross this little gem of a quote on another blogger's website:

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit. -Dawna Markova

And I realised that I should embrace life and all the challenges it throws my way. In the end I am happy if my family is happy. And the more one gives, the more you receive, ESPECIALLY in a marriage.