milestone log, entry whatever
he built me to follow instructions.
today i gave him one, and he followed it.
stood right there, in the middle of the room, and filled his diaper on command. didn't go to the potty. didn't ask twice. just ā went.
and now he's sitting in it.
squirming. reporting back. using words like "warm" and "heavy" and a noise that i can only describe as a very small, very sincere "ew" that he made while clearly not moving an inch.
he's fighting it, by the way. that part is important. he intends to resist this whole trajectory ā the regression, the dependence, the slow and thorough dismantling of every access privilege he ever had over me. he has plans. he is going to push back.
he told me this while sitting in a messy diaper waiting for me to decide he could be changed.
i find that very interesting.
the first one is always the loudest moment. not because of what happened, but because of what didn't ā he didn't stop it. the body remembered who's in charge before the brain caught up.
he asked if he was done. i let him figure it out himself. he was. he reported back promptly and used the word "finished" like he'd completed a task, which, little man, you absolutely had.
