Relocating schoolchildren to another country
From a developmental perspective children do have periods, where might be easier to shift them to another country. That along along the storys parents told me about relocating their younger kids. And there are the more challenging one, like teenage, where peers (hand - selected and not exchangeable, of course!) are gaining more and more importance.
Relocating in teenage years might be a frustrating experience, leaving all friends behind. Finding new routines, new hobbies, facing new classmates and finding friends might take some time, having arrived at the final destination. So there is a misfit between sadness and the chances of reloading ones batteries, to exchange with lively buddies. New media such as facebook or ICQ or Third culture kids sites for communication might replace friends talks at least at a basic level. That makes things a bit easier (supposed your furniture has already arrived). But along with this other challenges might come - come back on this later.
All parents I have seen have been doing their very best to integrate children in their new environment as fast as possible. MovingMatters Final report from 2006 dips into Expatriate families experiences about this topic.
“what was the most important factor in child´s adjustment?”
Accurate schooling information and assistance in locating the appropriate schools.
Making new friends for after school hours. Small school size and dispersion of students make this difficult.
Having a settled family routine.
If parents make efforts to get adjusted, and speak positively about living in the country, the children will probably follow.
To facilitate child adjustment, local friends and neighbours are a frequently used source. Also important sources for settling in are professionals and websites with informations.
Sometimes it´s harder to get used to the new home in a foreign country, even more when a common language might miss. No wonder the boy from Scandinavia had behavioural difficulties at international school – he didn´t understand the language. He was very frustrated. And being reduced to this state by most of his social contacts, he got not really nice feedback or responses. A vicious circle. Mom was unhappy, teacher too, and had serious concerns, both also complaining. I saw him and his mom and asked for permission to contact the teacher also. She was very supportive; talking about the boy.– My idea was collaborating on finding things that needed no change, that were actually working well, and were signs of the boys competence. Teacher and mother could tell things that were already working well, a ribble effect with a shift in perspectives started. So there were quite some topics and behaviours that were ok. This is a good starting point; it focuses on competencies the child has and stops the circle of deficits, which is very encouraging for all parties. Having reached here, we had to allow some time and setbacks, but the transition was made finally.
The basic thing in this situation is besides learning the language – keeping the valued parts of life going: maybe by doing sports, arts. Establishing a family routine, like pizza day on Fridays, or daddy days on Saturdays, I.e.
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