DEVILDOM SHENANIGANS (FT. AUTHOR PT 6)
Me: Kicks the door down looking panicked
Lucifer: What did you do?
Me: Nobody died.
Lucifer: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Me: I CAN’T DO IT!
Lucifer, laughing hysterically: I CAN’T EITHER!
Me: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Mammon, scared: WELL I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Me:
Me: I appreciate it,
Me: BUT LOOK WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH-
Levi: Ice-
Me: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Asmo: Ice we gotta-
Me: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Me: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY ‘What am I willing to put up with today?’
Me, motioning to the HOL burning in the distance: NOT FUCKING THIS
Ice: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Levi: Self-esteem, haven’t seen you in years!
Mammon: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Belphie: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Asmo: My moral code, is that you?
Ice:
Ice: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Diavolo: What’s something you guys are better than Lucifer at? Mammon: Mario Kart.
Levi: Yeah, video games.
Me: Emotional vulnerability.
Me: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Lucifer: … Your what?
Me: My friends…?
Mammon: Is she saying “friends”?
Levi: I think she’s being sarcastic.
Asmo: No, no, no, this is delirium, she’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Ice! All of your friends are in this room.
Me: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks-
Me: Simeon, I’m sad.
Simeon: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.
Asmo: Solomon, I’m sad.
Solomon, nodding: mood.
*I'm cooking*
Asmo: Any chance that’s for me?
Ice: It’s for Solomon. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.
Simeon: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
Mammon: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Ice does? I mean, what if she jumped off a cliff?
Satan: If Ice were to jump off a cliff, she would’ve done her due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Ice jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Mammon: You jump off a cliff!
Satan: Gladly. Provided Ice did first.
