content warnings, I suppose, for dubious quantities of upg/philosphy/poetry/sap/gods of too many names
people ask me sometimes why all the names, why Odin rarely gets trotted out, a few dozen other heiti more likely, why I use them, what's the effect, and given that I get both rambly and affectionate when sick....
the Old Man and His names -- I figure He collects them, He loves them, I think maybe He needs them, something to do with masks and faces and shifting experiences of That-Which-Is and the way no relationship between any two people is ever quite the same as any other, the irreducible nature of existence -- I think sometimes He uses the names to remind Himself which context He's in, sometimes wants/needs/appreciates the people around Him using different names to remind Him of which context they're setting Him in (or asking for, or assuming, or needing)
sometimes that context is the rage and fury and wild shrieking wind! sometimes it's the cold lonely stillness of noose and dangling; sometimes it's ravenous, a devouring hunter; sometimes it's a tester and guarantor of hospitality; sometimes it's a wise advice-giver; sometimes it's a queer ecstatic dance and drums; sometimes it's a healer, or a lover, or a granter of wishes, or a calm skilled hand to soothe a panic attack, sometimes it's inspiration --
and I think that sometimes maybe He's not sure which He's to wear, or which belongs, and maybe sometimes needs reminded that some of those are in fact still His -- still beloved, still welcome, still wished-for, still turned to as calmer and healer -- and also sometimes appreciates when someone recognizes the face He's wearing and calls Him by it; and also to some extent relies on others to give Him access points into existence/experience by giving Him more names and thus more points from which to interact with That-Which-Is
and for me -- the more I recognize of His names, the more I know Him, and also the more likely I am to recognize when He comes to me in a particular way that I might not otherwise have context for, and also the more likely I am to trust that it is Him and not my mind playing tricks on me; and also it gives me ways to tell Him I recognize Him, and ways to ask for what I need, and to express particular emotions, and to acknowledge the aspects I'm not comfortable with some or all of the time, and to remind myself how He's interacted, what He has been and is to me
so I call Him by a variety of names; most of them already His, some of them personal appellations, all of them processed through my own experience and understanding (because a name is a collection of syllables but it can also carry weight and meaning, and when I call Him Sviđrir I do not just mean Soother, I mean You Who catch and calm me when anxiety and fear and distress, when I call Him Bruni I mean more than Brown Bear, I mean Old Bear enormous and terrible as the sky Who swallows me whole and unmakes me and gives me shelter, when I call Him Uđr -- to call someone Beloved is always intimate, always personal, is it not?
the naming is a game, it's a request, it's acknowledgment, it's a love-language, it's a history (His and mine and the relationship between us), it's a reassurance, it's a gift for Him of stepping further into Being, further into my own subjective experience; sometimes it's a challenge or a demand or a warning, and no less personal for it
and I give Him names from the relationship between us, and my understanding of Him, and of Who He is to me, and I call Him Breath-Gifter and Breath-Taker and Husband and Old Perv and my Death and Breath and Tenderness Sharper than a Knife and others, and He loves it (from me at least, I speak only for myself here), and calls me, too, by various names, a gift in return, and if sometimes piercing no less loving for it, always offering another way for me to understand myself from His experience --
