For the past week and a half, every morning my husband wakes up in a bad mood. He’s a lighter sleeper than I am therefore when our son moves around or the neighbors make noise, I don’t hear it. I wake up to my husband jumping out of bed and yelling at either our son or some unknown force cursing his existence. When I ask what’s wrong (very groggily, because it’s before my morning coffee), my husband complains that everything is wrong and he has a horrible life, and he’s done trying to discipline our son and that I don’t care.
After coffee and a couple of hours to cool off, he usually calms down. During this time I usually have to be extra perky and happy to speed along this process. I’m normally a happy person since I met my husband I’ve been becoming more an optimistic, since my husband is a pessimistic. My hormones were going crazy during this time (we’ve been trying to have a baby for the past year). During this hormonal time, I saw pregnant women everywhere telling me how it happened so suddenly. I became very bitter.
It became harder and harder to be the perky optimistic wife that my husband married. It’s very exhausting to be extra happy all the time especially when my husband wakes up screaming every day. I finally stopped trying to be perky and focused on not punching people in the face. On day 10 my husband finally realized that something was wrong. He kept badgering me. My husband is the type of man that wants to talk about things. He said that he’s been upset with me and I’ve been ignoring him because I’ve been on my phone constantly.
I told him that I haven’t been ignoring him, he’s been separating himself from me. I couldn’t really argue with him, because of the way his mind works. My husband is extremely smart and was raised to be manipulating. Every time we have a disagreement or I’m unhappy about things I have to think things through and think of anything I might say that he would take offense to. It’s exhausting just going through the process so much so that I don’t even feel like following through with the disagreement.