#diary type post

[recordingsurface]

anyways work crush and i are going to see a rom com together and then discuss it over a meal this weekend..... wish me luck....

[cuchufletapl]

I was looking through some old stuff and found the best sticker sheet that was ever gifted to me:

Look at these fucken cats!!!

[recordingsurface]

I haven't been posting about it anymore, but the mourning has been coming back every now and then, intensifying in frequency as May has progressed. I correctly guessed that this would be a rough month, with his birthday at the end. I'm saving up my griefposting until then, so that I can purge it, all at once, from my system. at the very least, it's nice that the grief is now tinged with an appropriate dosage of anger at what happened, and sober acknowledgement that it wasn't going well anyways. i was just swept up in the delusion that it could work. I loved him so intensely....

[recordingsurface]

I sleep in a new location

[recordingsurface]

pennsylvania sunset

[recordingsurface]

I love PA forests so so much

[recordingsurface]

old pixelart, remade today - lost the old clean version. is meant to represent anti-diurnalism in a sort of abstract way.

[recordingsurface]

not posting them because they're very embarrassing, but i want to state for the drafts clearing house record that i have deleted five drafts made within the span of one hour on the night of April 18th all of which express, in various ways, a strong desire to be a cis gay man, and one diary type draft made earlier that night which read "i wonder what it would be like to take a double dose of progesterone"

my memory of this night is basically nonexistent, so this is all the information at my disposal.