Jan 3, 2023
when your partner has gone dormant so you’ve gotten your little corner and sat down to wait for their return like a lost child in a Walmart
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when your partner has gone dormant so you’ve gotten your little corner and sat down to wait for their return like a lost child in a Walmart
Hello, I hope it’s alright to come to you for advice. The host of our system and I are interested in each other romantically, however we have no idea how to go about having a relationship. She believes strongly that we are all parts of one, and that a person cannot date themselves. Do you have any advice? Thank you
Sure, I can do my best to help! System relationships can definitely be a tricky manner, that’s for sure.
What I’d recommend is deciding what your subjective experience means to you. Basically, something doesn’t need to be objectively real (like two actual physical people having a relationship) to still feel like a relationship. Even if you are actually one person, it can still feel like a relationship on a personal level--and that’s totally valid! If it feels good and doesn’t create any life-disrupting conflicts, then go for it.
Discussing this might help her open up to the idea. How you can be one, in her mind, and still have a relationship simply because it feels good to have that connection. In-system relationships aren’t a bad thing (many systems thrive with them and therapists support them!), so if it feels good for you both, I’d express that.
Hope this helps a bit!
I really am kind of depressed today because we dont have a partner, nor do we feel like we will ever get one. It's been a year and a half since I dated anyone and it's really lonely.
If anyone just wants to talk and maybe have more feel free to message me. I need friends anyway.
sorry i've been so inactive guys, i recently obtained a boyfriend and it's been going really really well. if you guys have any questions regarding dating a singlet don't hesitate to ask 😊
Who are some of your boyfriend's alters??
Hi!My boyfriend has over 40 alters so i wont name them ALLBut the two I’m dating are both protectors named Jaz and Blake!If you wan’t to know some more specifics ask for “littles” or “more protectors” or different TYPES of altersIf you don’t know them, feel free to ask or google it!!
What is it like dating alters?
Oh!! Its great!! Not only do i have WONDERFUL PARTNERS, but i have really great friends!! I love it!!
Any tips for making protectors trust you? Anytime i try and talk to one of my gfs they always kinda intimidate me
I’m actually dating a protector!! Be real, they’re just worried about the body. It may take awhile but have a heart to heart talk and maybe make some guidelines? The longer you’re around the more they’ll warm to you!I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months and decently recently has another protector admitted me as a friend!!(And he’s just stubborn lol)
What's it like talking to your boyfriend's alters?
Ah well, its like talking to different people! They all like different things, talk differently, ect. Its kinda nice, I made new friends!! I love it!!