#dormancy

[desirplural]

I'm fucking sick of looking at plural communities or plural tags and seeing people talking about forcing their headmates into dormancy. "I want to force my persecutors into dormancy" "we forced our old host into dormancy" "can we force all the non-helpful alters into dormancy" "I don't want to go through the effort of establishing healthy communication with the whole system can I just force some of them into dormancy" "We forced an alter into dormancy and he came back and hates us all, any advice" "If you're dealing with a persecutor and they won't listen to reason you should try forcing them into dormancy" "I forced my alters into dormancy but it didn't make them go away what should I do" " This alter was annoying me and so I forced them into dormancy lol" "We don't bother giving our fragments identities we just force them into dormancy" "This alter triggered another alter's source trauma so we forced them into dormancy" I feel like I'm on the fucking truman show what the fuck are you talking about? What the hell do you mean? Why are you all so fucking obsessed with it? What is wrong with you guys? Don't you understand how fundamentally fucked up that is? Hello? Am I talking to myself right now?

[minart-was-taken]

Some hcs before the next update lol

[sunsoaked-sprites]

System Death Experiences: Results

Hello all! I made this post explaining about what this survey is, but I'll restate it again for anybody who may be new to this.

What I aimed to do was create a survey that focused on the phenomenon of in-system death and dormancy, and what that looks like in systems. I opened the survey in December 2024 and left it open for a whole year to allow as many systems as possible to contribute. This garnered 121 unique participants who shared their experiences! An amazing turnout. Below, I'm going to give a brief overview of what I learned from this study, and then I will include a link to the document with the full results, which is 26 pages long. (Link to the full document here.)

[Image Description: The title "System Death Experiences" with the subtitle "the results" over a photo with moody or gloomy composition featuring a bouquet of pale pink and light red flowers and green leaves/stems.]

Image credit.

Overview

After compiling all of the data and experiences shared within this survey, I have come away with a glimpse of what goes on in individual systems and how they function. Out of 121 participants, a quarter of those could experience in-system death, a quarter of those could not, and over half did not know whether they could or considered the idea more complicated than a yes/no dichotomy. For those who could experience death, it felt different than dormancy and was usually more “dramatic” or permanent. Concepts like fusion, shattering/fragmenting, and recycling came up when participants were asked to describe their experience with death.

However, over 75% of systems reported dormancy as a function of their system. When asked how dormancy worked in their systems, many people responded that it is akin to a deep sleep or hibernation; usually, these dormant members are expected to return, or at least have the capacity to do so. Most people did not equate death and dormancy as the same thing, but a good portion said it could be in some cases. Some systems reported that members can come back from death; each of their responses were recorded and explained in the full results. 

There are a few different ways that people choose to honor headmates who are deceased. Some of them hold the same rites you would for a person who died in this world: spiritual practices, keeping a list/documentation of deceased members, or keeping them in their thoughts. More of these kinds of traditions can be read about in the full results.

Lastly, participants were asked to share anything else they felt was related in the last question. We will not provide a summary here, because that section is focused solely on the participant’s words and experiences they felt were important or necessary to share.

This is an extremely bare bones overview, I encourage you to read on for specific details and experiences shared by participants!

What We Can Learn From This

This project made a space where systems felt comfortable discussing in-system death, which is still treated as taboo or impossible. I hope that seeing these results allows readers to feel seen and/or to broaden their ideas of what is possible in a system. Every single system is unique in how it operates, but sometimes we can capture common experiences and feel a little less alone.

My main takeaway is that death, like all other system functions, is a highly unique and individualized phenomenon that can look different from system to system. This survey was not done to take away from systems who do not experience death or those who do not view losing headmates (for any reason, especially fusion/integration) to be a bad thing, but instead to highlight that in-system death is possible and systems are experiencing it whether you believe in it or not.

There needs to be more spaces that allow systems to speak on this topic without being shunned or mocked, and opportunities for systems to be allowed to grieve in-system deaths (or even dormancies! You are allowed to grieve people even if they are likely to come back.)

Thank You

Thank you. To every participant, to everyone who shared, to everyone who helped us or gave insight along the way. Thank you for reading this post or the full document! This also couldn't have been possible without proofreading and editing from our long-time friends and colleagues who we are in cahoots with @thesaltinstitute. I hope everyone enjoys reading the results and finds them as fascinating as we do!

-- Sprites ☀️

[spiraling-system-flag-coins]

Fronting Frequency Term ; Dormant

ID - Left: Domant (Pink) , Right: Dormant (Red)

A flag for alters who are currently dormant for whatever reason.

Other Fronting Frequency Terms

[rainofthestorm]

System Silence, Blurriness, and Identity Confusion

identity confusion / blurriness

Identity confusion is a pretty common state. Blurry, or foggy, is sometimes how we refer to it. It will pass in time. It's not fun, I know, but it will pass. Rest, recover. You will be okay again.

We've been there for a few weeks at a time sometimes. Usually the best way out of it is to make sure you sort out anything in your environment that might be making y'all feel unsafe or otherwise pressured beyond your current ability to tolerate.

Focus mainly on the essentials, on self care routines, on the immediate things that need sorted out, and making sure you eat and sleep enough. Look after your body. And if there's sources of stress, do what you can to either avoid, escape, or disarm them, or else push through them and solve what can be solved.

internal reorganisation

Sometimes, this kind of state can be a sign of the system internally reorganising or restructuring, that does happen from time to time. Not the most fun, but… it is sometimes necessary. As far as we know, it's not something you can control. It's just something that happens as needed, and we weather it as best we can.

What happens exactly depends on the system, and it might not be noticeable at all. Usually it's pretty minor, sometimes a few traits get shuffled around, sometimes roles. Sometimes memory ownership changes.

Some systems do have larger / more extensive reorganisations and it can involve fusions, splits, or just… new headmates showing up. That might sound scary, but it's pretty normal, honestly. It'll be alright; it just takes time for things to settle.

what if my headmates disappear?

Solid "it's complicated" on that one. It's something we've worried about a lot in the past, and there are definitely some headmates that aren't as active for us at present as they used to be. But… I don't know, we've never felt like they're gone, either.

I would say, definitely make efforts to remember them, regardless. We like to collect little bits of info in headmate profile pages, memories, drawings, preferences, things they've written, whatever. If they stick around, great, you have some good anchors and things they can work on. If they happen to not, they're still remembered and a part of you all the same, just in a different way.

Not every headmate is necessarily always going to be around front is a thing, too; lots of systems have a lot more mainly-internal or internal-only members, those which operate more invisibly and seamlessly, or just prefer to take a back seat rather than be dealing with things in front.

Personally our tendency is to never assume parts of our system are gone, we don't think anyone truly disappears. Is no longer in front, sure. Is maybe not in the same form they were in, or the same function and role and interaction patterns… sure. But... they were part of us once and they always will be, even if the exact way they interacted with the system has changed or grown less overt in some way.

To exist is to change, and that's true for systems too. Headmates change, the system dynamics shift, but generally nothing is gone… just changed. Sometimes it bears grieving, for many possible reasons, but often… we're all still here, still together, still ourselves, all the same. Even if it's not quite how we'd have liked to be in perfect circumstances.

Additional Resources

Handling the "Silent Periods" by Phosphor of the Hungry Ghosts

You don't need to know who you are all of the time and I'm probably faking all of this! from plurality.systems by the Pleiadesfolk.

[niftai]

just a man and his pet dog

[ask-a-sysmember]

TW for dormancy/alter death and grief

question for systems in general, sort of two in one: do you experience grief in relation to headmates going dormant, dying etc? if yes, how do you deal with it?

This question is for all systems, regarding grief and dormancy.

We're a death/afterlife based system so it kind of depends on how the person goes dormant. When the core was dormant her partner and kids grieved, even though they knew she'd be back.

[fact-anonymous]

Just grieve them.

[Plain text: Just grieve them.]

Disclaimer: No experience is universal. Your(&) mileage may vary.

Warning: discussion of in-system death, dormancy, system resets, egocide/suicide, fusion, and similar losses. mention of medical/psychiatric abuse, pluralphobia / pluralmisia. mention of spirituality and religion.

[Plain text: Disclaimer: No experience is universal. Your(&) mileage may vary.

Warning: discussion of in-system death, dormancy, system resets, egocide/suicide, fusion, and similar losses. mention of medical/psychiatric abuse, pluralphobia / pluralmisia. mention of spirituality and religion. End plain text.]

.

Whether or not you(&) believe headmates can die, whether or not they'll return (and it's very uncertain in many cases), you(&) are allowed to grieve those your collective have lost.

You(&) are allowed to see dormancy, resets, ego deaths, in-system egocide/suicide, walk-outs, or fusion as true death. Or see them as just a temporary loss. You(&) don't need our permission, really, but if you need to hear it: you're(&) allowed to hold funerals or other memorial services for them either way.

If you're(&) religious/spiritual, you're allowed to do what rituals can bring you(&) peace. Shiva, libations, prayers, spells, whatever you need, however long it takes. In-system, out-system, or both is perfectly okay. Grief is grief.

You are allowed to make vent art. Write fic if they're sourced (fiction or fact alike). Write a song. Make a plushie of them. Make moodboards or scrapbooks to remember them. Or express your feelings however you like.

Whether the cause is a traumatic outer-world life event, forced fusion via medical/psychiatric abuse, an intra- or exo- event (meaning in-system or in other worlds, for walk-ins, soulbonds, etc.), or even a random occurrence, you're still allowed to treat it as you see fit. Including treating it as death.

You(&) do not deserve judgment if you(&) experience negative effects from the loss of (a) systemmate(s). Example: depressed, lose concentration, have mood swings, miss appointments, can't work or go to school, struggle to eat and shower, have physical pain, get fired, drop out, etc..

You(&) don't have to have proof that people, parts, etc. in your systems are Permanently Missing (finding proof isn't possible a lot of the time, anyway). You(&) can still make an in-system support group for those who are bereaved, or visit a physical/online support group to help everyone. And no, you(&) don't have to tell the physical/online support group that it's an in-system event. Please stay safe and protect your(&) privacy.

Yes, even if they can be revived. Even if you're(&) able to drag disappearing brain-roommates from a mental/metaphysical/etc. afterlife, or rebuild them like in science fiction, you're(&) still allowed to be sad, angry, etc. about the pain this event has brought you(&).

Your(&) trauma from in-system losses is valid. Even if other people deny it. Including the psychiatric system or your(&) own psychiatrists. You(&) deserve to acknowledge this trauma.

You(&) don't have to fully be sure of the technicalities. You don't have to justify it to other people. Not even your(&) partners and/or therapists if you(&) have either/both. No one should dictate how you(&) work through grief except you(&). Everyone copes differently. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to live through this.

Letting yourselves go through the process of grieving - letting yourselves feel instead of denying those emotions - may very well help you(&).

Take care of yourselves, if you(&) can. But if you(&) struggle, that's okay. Grief isn't easy. Don't rush. You're(&) not a lesser person for not being able to cope "perfectly". There is no right way to grieve, and no timeline or milestones you(&) must achieve.

~ Mod Reaper [Plain text: Mod Reaper]