So what exactly is the Two Face Found Family, how’d everyone meet?
Two-Face: “Huh? There’s one for me? Okay, let’s see here… what is the ‘Two-Face found family’. Well, family is a bit of a strong word. I wouldn’t describe it as such. I’m sure Die would, but that’s just her. It’s more of a… closely-knit mafia. Some people have used the word ‘gang’, but, and I’m giving myself a little credit here, I run much more than a lowly gang of hoodlums. The people that are in this so-called ‘found family’ are the highest ranking members of the operations I run- behind myself, of course. Let’s go down the list.
You were likely primarily referring to Die and Bane, but I’ll start with my wife. We met in sophomore year of high school through a mutual friend. Went to school together, got married not long after. She’s the only member of my unit who knew me before I switched career paths. She isn’t very involved in the illegal processes and dealings, but those who work for me know of her and know to leave her alone. She wasn’t forced into this, despite what some believe. She chose to stay beside me all this time, and that… that led me to have more respect for her than I ever have.
Moving along, then there’s Bane, my right hand man. Originally he only came into my employ as hired muscle. But after knowing him for a little while, we formed some kind of mutual respect for one another. He’s a man that I hold in high regard. I didn’t think it was possible for one man to be the brains and the brawn, but he’s proven me incorrect; not only is he an incredible fighter, he’s quite the tactician as well. I still handle the more intricate operations, but I know he’ll be alright in sticky situations. Oh, and Die calls him ‘Uncle Bane’, if that means anything at all.
Speaking of Die- then there’s her. Despite common belief, she is not my biological daughter. After the unfortunate death of Salvatore ‘Boss’ Maroni, which I had nothing to do with whatsoever, she sought me out and asked to join in on my underground operations. Admittedly, I was hesitant at first. She’s young. She still has time to turn her life around. But she wouldn’t take no as an answer, so I took her in. I don’t know if I could say I hold affection for her, at least not in the full meaning of the word, but there’s definitely something there. I’ve shot men for looking at her too long. My wife likes her as well. Die can cause trouble sometimes, but she’s proven to be a valuable asset.
Apologies for being intentionally vague at parts, but there are certain things I need kept under wraps. Regardless, I believe that’s- oh. Right. The dog. Die found a stray dalmatian puppy and wanted to adopt him. My wife said it’d be a good idea, and, well, she’s the kind of woman I can’t say no to. The dog’s name is Pip. I don’t care for him, but-”
Die: “You’ve been petting him this whole time.”
Two-Face: “You’re grounded. Go to your room. I believe we’re done here. Thank you for the question. Though it was odd to receive from an opossum.”
