Point Of No Return
this is for @lovatos-little-skyscraper. i enjoyed being your santa and i hope you like this, i’m no good with fluff so i went another way but i hope these 3k+ words make up for it! :)
NSFW.
She struggled to make sense of the situation she had gotten herself into. How was it again? The answer seemed to escape her.
She was frozen in the moment, the feeling of him being so close to her, his minty scent and his hand lovingly patting her back drowning out everything else for her in the big x factor studio. She squeezed the soft material of his tailored suit jacket between her fingertips as she kept her eyes on the stage. It was easy to forget about the cameras when the focus wasn't on her but she had to continuously remind herself to not get too caught up in his arousing presence or the music that seemed to always take over everything she was feeling, because if she did, she might end up doing something stupid like kissing him or grabbing him in places that wouldn't be appropriate for live primetime television. Not that she'd ever done that before, even in private but she'd thought about doing it. A lot. She couldn't count the amount of times she had gone to her dressing room on breaks, wishing she had the courage to go to his instead. He would tell her he'd been expecting her and compliment her dress, tell her how much he wanted to take it off and then do just that before fucking her against the wall, the sound of her moaning his name making him go harder and faster. She had gone through it many times in her head and she had no doubts of what this man would be able to make her body feel and how much better the reality would be than her own hands and the thought of him. She looked in his direction and watched him as he watched the winner performance, a content look on his face He turned and met her gaze, his lips curling upwards in a knowing smile. It was bittersweet really, standing there, not knowing if this would be the last time he held her, if that was even what he was doing, or if nothing would ever get to happen between them. The whole thing was so vague. They had grown so close but she couldn't read his signals, couldn't figure out if he wanted her or if he was just playing around like she'd watched him do with other women. She knew he was aware of what he was doing to her though, she just wasn't sure if he was planning on doing anything about her borderline pathetic need of him.
He gripped on her side, pulling her closer to him and she let out a small gasp at the sudden movement, blushing at how easily affected she was by him. She looked at him disapprovingly but couldn't help the smile creeping on her face. He shrugged with a smirk and she shook her head at him as she stepped away to talk to Britney, painfully aware of the ever-present live cameras. That was the one thing she didn't like about this job. Oh, and being around Simon of course, if anyone asked. -
There was something about her. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, well, he could name a million things that were special about her but he couldn't pinpoint the exact thing that pulled him to her as forcefully as it had. Maybe it was a combination of it all. Either way, he wasn't exactly crazy about how weak he felt or how much he constantly had to control himself around her. It wasn't a familiar thing for him that there was something he just couldn't have. He felt her squeeze his hand and he looked down at her lying with her head in his lap with a smile on her face, instantly bringing one to his own as well. She had been lying like that for ages and had it been anyone else, he would have gotten annoyed. He liked his personal space and intimacy wasn't really his thing unless it was the fun kind. Though she did many things that annoyed him, the physical contact wasn't one of them. Somehow, with her, he had no such thing as personal space boundaries. And it quite frankly weirded him out.
They had both been silent for a while. It had been a rather tense night for them with fewer words spoken than usual and more longing glances. He knew what she was thinking, knew she was wondering what would happen from now on, if they would be seeing each other at all and he didn't know the answer to that, but one thing he did know as he sat there alone with her in his dressing room hours after the show had ended, was that he didn't want it to end. He didn't want to ever stop pretending she was bothering him and he didn't want her to ever stop trying to do just that. He never wanted to stop making her frustrated in every way, that was his favorite part, especially when she gave it right back to him and he had to quite literally walk away from her to stop himself from having his way with her right there in front of everyone. But most importantly, he didn't want to be without moments like these, just the two of them, too complicated to put into words but wonderfully so. She was right though, where did they go from there? He sighed as he absent-mindedly traced circles on her stomach, she was still in that metallic green dress she had worn for the show and although it looked too tight for her to lie comfortably in, he certainly didn't mind. He noticed how far the dress had gone up and moved his hand to trace circles on her bare thigh instead. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, and he smiled to himself. He could tell on her breathing how badly she wanted him to move his hand further up and he almost did before coming to his senses and removing his hand entirely. She opened her eyes and looked up at him questioning. "We should really be leaving... I am the boss after all, in case you've forgotten, and the boss is usually expected at events like these." He half-joked, trying to avoid answering what her eyes were asking him. She rolled her eyes dramatically.
"I don't care about the stupid after-party." She pointed out, a smirk appearing on her lips as she continued; "And I know you don't, either. It's not even a party, it's all business and no fun." "Well..." He tried to stay serious but then broke into a small laugh when he saw the are-you-kidding-me look on her face. She giggled and sat up in the couch to then place her legs on either side of his lap, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck with a coy smile. His hands instinctively went to her hips. "Demi..." He warned but his smile remained. "Fine, we can go to your precious party," She mocked, tilting her head. "I was just hoping we could do something else instead." She looked at him, almost as if seeking approval for what she was inevitably about to do.
"Demi...." He repeated, this time almost pained. He knew he wouldn't be able to say no if she kept going, hell, he didn't want to say no. But he knew she had no idea what she was getting into with him, and really, he was in no way ready to commit to anything. Even if a one time thing was what she wanted, they were too complicated for that. Once they started, they wouldn't be able to stop. But she always refused to listen to anything that meant she wouldn't be getting things her way, didn't she? She was a lot like him in that way but he'd had more time to learn. Her lips met his in a soft kiss that only grew more urgent as she must have noticed he wasn't really kissing her back, but wasn't exactly stopping her either. He felt his head starting to spin, he was so torn about what to do, but, God, how long had he wanted to do that? So what was stopping him? The lines suddenly blurred and he couldn't remember. He intensified the kiss and she gasped and gripped tighter on his neck as his hands felt her back arch. She pulled away only for a second and smiled, no doubt satisfied that he had given in and he chuckled at her lack of subtlety.
She shushed him with her lips and slowly started grinding on him. Whenever he opened his eyes in between kisses and saw her lustfull eyes staring back at him, letting him know just how long she had wanted it too, he felt himself grow a little more. But when she reached down and pulled on his zipper, the voice in his head telling him to stop came back. It baffled him that he reacted this way, it wasn't of his typical nature but she brought out things in him he had otherwise left behind. Determined, he put his hand on top of hers to stop her and she looked up at him confused.
"Demi..." He said for the third time that hour. She understood immediately, her face going red. She got out of his lap without looking at him and went straight for her shoes. "God, why can't you just fucking say you don't want me instead of letting it go this far?" She asked but it wasn't really a question. She aggressively pushed her foot into her ridiculously high-heeled shoe. Yeah, she was angry and probably hating herself too. He certainly hadn't wanted that. He sighed. "If I said that, I would be lying." "Then what the fuck is it, Simon?" She stopped moving and looked at him as if expecting a different answer that made more sense to her. For a second he was stunned, realizing just how frustrated she really was and that he had gotten to her just as much as she had gotten to him. Part of him found that satisfying but really, he didn't want her to hurt, and certainly not because of something he had done. "Come on now... You know this would never work. " He argued with a shrug. He couldn't believe how naïve she was being. "I don't want anything to work, just the part we were just getting to." She spat, going back to her other shoe and then walking towards the door.
"You might want to work on that, sweetheart." It came out more condescending than he had meant it and he almost regretted saying it but she really needed a wakeup call. What was happening between them was so much more than a quick fuck in his dressing room and he knew that deep down she knew that too. She shot him another angry look but her face quickly softened, the most adorable pout he'd ever seen appearing instead. As he looked at her, sadness filled her eyes. "Let's just go." She said quietly as she let him put his arm around her waist, the both of them walking out towards his car.
-
She was still pouting when she got out of the backseat of his car. She had made a point of not saying a word to him and just staring out the window during the car ride but really, all that had done was just get her more frustrated and even angrier when he hadn't tried to talk to her. She realized it was beginning to seem a bit silly but damn, that man was frustrating. He was right, though. She did want more. But there was no use in that and there was definitely no use in admitting it. She had just wanted to see it for herself, feel him, maybe once she'd had him and all the sexual tension was gone, the inconvenient and inappropriate loving feelings she had towards him would go away. She had been hoping that it was all something she was making up out of frustration. But he hadn't let her test that theory, instead he had pushed her away and made her feel unwanted and stupid. When had he ever turned down a woman asking for nothing more than sex? Her guess would be never. He wasn't supposed to think about the consequences; he was supposed to not be able to resist her. Why was he making it so much more difficult than it had to be? It was a long elevator ride to the 18th floor where the party was held and she hesitantly peeked over at him as they stood there next to each other. He was already looking at her, a soft expression on his face. She sighed. "How are you feeling?" He asked. "I kinda just wanna forget this ever happened. " She replied dully. He chuckled and she couldn't help but smile either at how stupid this was. "Do you really, though?" His eyes grew intense and she swore she saw a glimpse of that same look she'd seen on his face when she had started moving her hips on him earlier. It caught her off guard and she instinctively took a step back. With their eyes locked, he walked towards her, pushing her backwards until she was against the metal railing. She struggled to catch her breath as he continued to stare into her eyes. Her annoyance with him seemed to slowly vanish as the speed of her heartbeat increased with every inch between them disappearing. He reached behind her to push the red button, his lips immediately after crashing against hers so forcefully she lost her train of thought and didn't even notice that the elevator stopped moving. "What are you doing?" She gasped as she pulled away. "What your eyes have been begging me to do." His voice was low and husky. "You have no idea how crazy you make me." She instantly tensed up and felt herself going damp at his words. She had been desperate for him before and now she was losing control of her body, it was like it wasn't her own anymore. He controlled it, it was his now and she was surprisingly okay with that. His mouth met hers again, his hands pulling her dress up around her hips. She felt her breathing getting rapid as he lifted her up to sit on the railing behind her, his body against hers to make sure she was steady. She almost moaned out loud when he pressed his jean-covered hardness against her, his lips moving up and down her neck as she pressed her fingers into his lower back breathlessly, aching to have him inside, anticipating what was to come.
"Do you see that camera up there?" She looked in the direction he'd told her to and noticed a security camera in the top corner, but she was far too focused on her growing need of him to really pay attention. "Right now anyone in the security room could be watching. Focus on that when I fuck you, baby." Her eyes went wide at the sudden realization but she couldn't deny the rush that went through her, making her push her hips against him urgently. He smirked and she unzipped his jeans, pulling him out and stroking him a couple of times as he watched hungrily. She inhaled sharply, seeing that he was already fully erect, thankful that she didn't have to wait any longer to finally feel him inside her. As if on cue, he moved her lace panties aside and she rubbed his head against herself, closing her eyes and letting out a soft sigh at the touch. She lined him with her opening and he pushed his hips forward, going half-way in, both of them moaning loudly at the fulfillment. She held on to his back tightly as he slowly moved in and out, letting her get used to his size, the impatience overwhelming her. "Please..." She begged, biting his neck and pulling at the skin underneath his shirt on his back. He slammed into her hard with no warning, making her nearly lose her balance from pleasure, before going painfully slow again. She almost whimpered.
"Say my name." He ordered, reaching up to pinch her nipple that was showing through the fabric of her dress. It hurt so good and she couldn't stop herself from moving her hips against him to try to speed things up. "Simon... Please...." He stared into her eyes and she tightened her walls around him to provoke him. He inhaled sharply and then pushed into her once again before lifting her chin up with his index finger. "Good girl." He smirked, and in that moment she wanted to kill him for making her wait this long. But she didn't have a chance to before he started pounding into her repeatedly, making her pant heavily she held onto his shoulders, her nails clawing at his t-shirt. No matter how many times she had imagined them in this position, she could never have imagined this side of him. He was rough and cold, yet tender and caring all at the same time. How did he even do that? She snapped her head back against the wall out of satisfaction as she came and it didn't take long after for him to release inside her, the expansion of him almost being enough for her to go over the edge again. She kissed him voraciously, desperately wanting more but he pulled away and chuckled at her. "This was only the beginning." He promised her with a wink and a smile, helping her down from the railing as her legs were still weak and kissed her forehead tenderly. "Do you still insist on going to the party or can we go back to your place now?" She asked breathlessly. "Well, there's no way I can stay away from you after that." He teased and helped her pull her dress down. They had passed the point of no return and she could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't so scared anymore. She honestly had no idea where it was heading, all she knew was that it was going somewhere and that was all she'd ever needed to know. She laughed softly and slapped his arm. "As if you ever could."
