Former Head Primate of the Temple of Bhaal within Baldur's Gate, former Chosen of Bhaal, the Killer of Gorion's Ward, who by his own hand ushered over two thousand people to their graves, and through his influence damned thousands more to similar ends, Architect of the Absolute, Jewel of the Dead Three's Grand Design, Fallen Star bereft of Godly Grace, the "tiefling" referring to himself as Dirge has since been reduced to little more than mangled meat.
Wading through the red soaked fog of his mind, a hair's breadth from oblivion, Dirge awakens on the nautiloid with nothing more than a tadpole in his skull, and murder in his heart, a ruined wreck of a person bereft of memory, as even his name is lost. Only the persistent presence of a long forgotten Pact offers any comfort in such dire straits.
Dirge is a Great Old One Warlock pacted to the eldritch star Caiphon, a being driven by endless pursuits of hidden knowledge, for the eventual freedom from his bond to Bhaal, his Father and God. In return, Caiphon has housed a fragment of itself within his mind, its violet light scorching his left eye and imbuing it with eldritch light. From this eye can Caiphon choose to gaze out into the world, seeing, learning, and knowing all that Dirge acquires. Until such time as the Pact can be fulfilled, Dirge can draw upon whatever power of Caiphon's he can master. This served him well in his time as Bhaal's Chosen, as Dirge's most intimate desire, freedom, was shrouded by Caiphon's aberrant nature, and despite being bonded to the star, Dirge refused to acknowledge his own desires even to himself. With his former self slain and awakening bereft of memory, Dirge relies upon his Pact to survive the illithid tadpole buried in the meat of his skull
A Bhaalspawn by heritage, but a quasi deity himself in truth, Dirge is the result of Bhaal severing his left hand in death, and from the gore and viscera crafting a Titan, a spawn He intended to serve Him eternally and loyally. Crafted within the realm of Gehenna, within Bhaal's Throne of Blood, Dirge's body and form were designed with careful cruel intent, Bhaal's Blade in the mortal guise, meant to seamlessly integrate and mimic the world of men, a Wolf among sheep. But once loosed from His grasp, not even Bhaal could control entirely the way his spawn would develop. What Bhaal could not control, he could coerce, and through innate connection, ensured that Dirge was ever aware that all he was, he owed to his Father. He was not meant to live distinct. He was a mere shard of a greater will. And yet, despite Bhaal's efforts, Life finds a way. Humanity and desire was kindled, nurtured, within his artificial soul nonetheless.
Dirge is possessed of a steely will, honed keenly from years of Resisting his Father's maddening Urge, to ensure His Will was enacted carefully, cleanly, and without flaw. The Promise of Murder boiled and writhed within his blood, carefully vented in controlled bursts, for if it consumed him, the Urge would leave Dirge naught but a feral ravening beast. And what glory would that bring to his father then? Dirge was made with purpose, glorious divine purpose, and he must restrain his instincts to ensure his destiny was seen through to the end. The Deaths of all things. The Murder of the world. When his mind is ruined by Orin's blade, when he cobbles together a new self from the ashes and gore, his will remains, powerful and potent, still bent to the task of Resisting the Urge's call upon his nature. Its this will, focused into a weapon through the lens of Caiphon's aberrant psionics, that brought low the Absolute to be crowned, and which poses the best chance of shattering it once more.
A creature of violence incarnate, drawn to blood and slaughter, beckoned by promises of power, one could be forgiven in assuming Dirge to be a cold, callous man. Instead, years of repression and ascetism hides a heart deeply moved by passion. Dirge is a true romantic, a wholehearted believer in Love, at first sight and every glance after. He yearns for hands both tender yet firm, to press between the threat of his teeth and know they will not bite, to take his violence in hand and leash it, restrain it. That he fell head over heels for Minthara should not be surprising in the least.
Dirge's first moments of existence came part and parcel with the tadpole, and the deeply peculair nature of their circumstances inextricably tied their lives together. Surviving by the strength of the Astral tadpole past the death of the Absolute, when the illithid tadpole recovers enough from its injuries, it realizes it has formed an identity for itself, distinct from the mind flayer hive mind. It names itself Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, daughter of Mmenosyne, because it's life has consisted of nothing but hardship out of its control. Its only ally in this world is its host, Dirge.
In summary, Dirge is a Neutral Evil Resist!Durge, a Mintharamancer 💜, who is haunted by the echoes of his past like a specter chained to his ankles. An accomplished Warlock, well acquainted with psionic might, the powers strengthened by the tadpole came easily and naturally, and he indulges often, but resists the instinct to ceremorph. Orin's injury permanently disabled him, inflicting him with chronic migraines, and while the tadpole mitigated the worst of his TBI symptoms, he has to recover after the Absolute's defeat. After the events of BG3, with extensive support from Minthara, Dirge finally realizes a truth he's repressed for most of his life, pre and post lobotomy; he's bigender, and had been surpressing his desire to live as also a woman for years.
So life is more or less determined to make me perma broke lmao so i'll just cut to the chase to give yall the main points 🫶
Basically: I'm legally homeless (but stably housed; basically no legal address for mail) with only my mothers disability benefits as stable income. Jobs are unreliable for our household and only sporadically help us out, so I pretty consistently need a little extra money for basic essentials like groceries and food for our 5 cats 🫶
Every cent counts, and even tho I would love to pay people back, life has yet to give me the financial stability to do so 😭 If you've got a little extra to spare, heres where you can toss it 💜
P*ypal // C*shapp // V*nmo
(censored so this post stays visible lmao)
With that out of the way, i'm also a writer! im not a FINISHER so its 90% wips, but if you'd like to see me write about THIS 👇 sonofabitch, visit my blog @wipsoftermina !! All the tags used on this blog are under the readmore if you wanna see my dumbass posts better 💜
My Tags! This is still a wip so ill eventually edit in links to intro posts lmao
Dirge:
dirgecore
for any random tumblr post that has Dirge Vibes. to Me
dirgeposting
for actual Dirge content, where I post his info and analysis and general bullshit musing lmao. 90% of Dirge Content is here
dirge askgames
so as dirge is my go to for askgames, he had a TON of them and it was clogging the dirgeposting tag. so now he has this! yayyy
dirgetharaposting
for dirge and minthara posts, both original posts and also reblogs that have their vibe
doomed siblings
predominantly for dirge and orins connection to each other and how they were set up from birth to inevitably come in conflict with each other, regardless of how they felt. doomed from the start, ive also started using it for my Gorion's Ward and Dirges elder bhaalspawn sibling, Lyre!
true soul!dirge au
an au for Dirge where he doesn't get rescued from the nautiloid and protected by the emperor, and survives to the beach only to get immediately enthralled by the Absolute, becoming an amnesiac True Soul under Her command.
i have more Dirge AUs but this is what has tagged content lmao
Other OCs and Tags
phyrneiposting
Phyrnei is my Drow Noble Divine Sorcerer/Hexblade Warlock for a Hiatused Out of the Abyss dnd campaign! As Phyrnei's arc is transitioning from being a Lolthite to a syncretic Vhaeraunite+Eilistraen, i use her tag for any important drow lore+dark seldarine content thats relevant to how i want to characterize her
monhun posting
I play MH Wilds! I have a switchaxe main hunter I post on occasion!! she gets tagged with this :3
As a present for reading this. heres my five kitties MWAH ily 💜
top left is Tira, top right is Misu (named cuz they were twins, tho Tira has since become a chubby lil princess), middle is Domino, bottom left is Biscuit, bottom right is Loki!
Tira, Misu, and Domino are all siblings from the same litter, Loki is my childhood cat whos my moms, and Biscuit is a recent rescue from a colony of outdoor ferals and is now happily a perma indoor kitty enjoying vaccinations and wet food 💜💜💜
its like. dirge is The Hand of Bhaal and aylin is selunes Sword Of Retribution, and in my world theyre both single parent godspawn (dirge carved from bhaals gore, aylin born from selune alone) and both are sent unto faerun to enact their parents will (to end all life, to enact vengeance upon the worshippers of shar who threaten and oppress selunites)
the difference is that selune doesnt mind that aylin is a person outside of that, and possibly even conspired to bring her daughter and isobel together for both their sakes, whereas bhaal gets angry every time dirge does things like "not being an object" and "having thoughts he wasnt directly instructed to have"
selune also seems to be more talkative to aylin than bhaal is to any of his kids (notably he seems to be pretty fuckn chatty with his cultists. no surprise there since shar does the same shit), so i think any differences between dame aylin and dirge wrt Divine Ability is just a matter of information access. selune cares enough about aylin and her wellbeing to fully instruct her on what she is, why she is that way, what she can do and how, and the risks inherent to her nature, whereas bhaal leaves dirge to just figure it out on his own, or more likely to never figure it out at all and instead receive that information as "gifts" for good behavior
so aylin has wings and a magical girl transformation and can summon silver tear holy ghost warriors and has a special moonlight spell and its not that shes inherently stronger or more powerful than dirge, she just has knowledge and skills he doesnt thats been deliberately kept from him. she also just doesnt struggle with her innate connection to divinity like dirge does because her relationship to selune is a lot healthier. like having a built in tether to moonmom isnt an issue because moonmom is chill and supportive, whereas bhaal likes to do shit like cause mini heart attacks as punishment for texting him at work
aylins represented by the full moon, dirge by the eclipse
aylin has a single mother, dirge has a single father
dame aylin is loved and cherished, dirge is guilted and isolated
dame aylin is a godspawn dating a cleric whos deity is aylins mother, dirge is a godspawn dating a paladin who swore her oath to him specifically, so both of them are children of divinity directly receiving faith from a religious individual theyve fallen in love with
both dirge and aylin are overwhelming forces of violence, almost manic in their enactment of it, and utterly shameless in their reveling of it
and both of them were also singled out and imprisoned specifically because of their unique traits due to their heritage, and heavily traumatized in the process (dame aylins immortality being used to bolster ketheric, dirges bhaalspawn physiology and will intriguing kressa enough that shed desire to experiment on him over and over (on top of being betrayed specifically for being bhaals scion))
like they arent FULLY people, are they? being a person is incidental to what they are, because what they ARE is a tool
people come into the world, and maybe have a destiny, maybe fate has something in store, but above all else they are free actors able to determine their lives for themselves, caught in a web of circumstances and social inertia but not beholden to it
dirge though? aylin? they have PURPOSE. built into them from the beginning, divine will etched deeper than dna, potent and compelling and powerful and utterly magnetic. theyre tools meant to interface with people, to be beholden and worshipped, to enact divine will where the gods cannot walk, to interpret the voices of the gods and communicate that vision to the masses
selune doesnt MIND that aylins a person, but it isnt a built in functionality, and isobel even points out theres times aylin isnt even particularly good at it! she doesnt understand time the same way mortals do and leaves on walks that last over a month. she copes with trauma by falling back into her role as selunes sword of retribution. the difference therein is just that aylin isnt punished for trying. when she reacts to lorroakan the same way she reacts to ketheric, it isnt satisfying, it isnt emboldening or empowering, shes traumatized, like a person would be, and not only does selunes retribution have no place punishing an upstart wizard whos main crime at that time is being an asshole, theres no place in that healing process to just. fall back on old habits. aylin was hurt like a person and can only heal like a person, but it isnt intuitive, less so than for other traumatized people, because aylin is a person by choice rather than by intrinsic nature
dirges trauma ive already dedicated a lot of word space to but essentially just. like hes a knife meant to bloodlet the world. hes a dagger shaped like a tiefling. if he has thoughts or schemes, its because a tool meant to kill people has to understand them to be able to competently execute its function. a Thing meant to mimic personhood to get close enough to maul and slaughter, clever enough to slink away unnoticed to go about it all again. divinity cloaked in flesh, limited in scope but narrow and focused in purpose and intent, like the narrowing sights of a railgun about to fire
and divinity is fueled by, tethered by, faith and worship and recognition, so it must be that, when cloaked in flesh and sensation, this amorphous conceptual power develops a tangible detectable presence, the way a snake can taste temperature. a core deep hunger for something that cant be swallowed, but a need that can be fed nonetheless. a spark that needs kindling, and every fervrent prayer and binding oath sets the embers to blazing.
theres the slayer form, of course, murder incarnate, but its a gift crafted by bhaals hands and bestowed upon whomsoever he finds worthy. its bhaals power, bhaals will, it doesnt reflect you or what you are in any capacity. but i think that each fragmented spark housed in godflesh warps and adapts to its casing, becoming something like but unlike its creator, something personal and intimate. a godspawn is not theyre creator, after all, a crafted tool but distinct unto themselves
tapping into that wellspring of divinity, shedding the shell meant to Talk and Evangelize and Guide, disconnecting that innate spark from the barriers that shield and shroud and smother it, to stop playacting at personhood and just Be, oh it must feel absolutely delicious. no doubts, no restraints, just Purpose and Doing, a sword unsheathed from its scabbard at last, all glorious Zeal and Horror and Beauty, nothing between you and the fire now, just Being and what you are is a tool, a weapon, and there is nothing but the faith and the certainty of it, and that being the proof more than anything just how much you are Not Like Them
a person loses their Self and its a nightmare, its horror and violation, because a person is Autonomy and Will and Choice and Desire, and to lose that is to lose the core of you, to become Something Else. but for them, for dirge and aylin and godspawn, its a bone deep satisfaction and rightness, its shedding everything unnecessary and irrelevant and existing fully, completely, nothing but Divine Aspect, haloed like the saints of olde, a holy messenger of Sacred Will incapable of being understood by mortals, for what mortal could understand having such a purpose etched into their very being? what mortal could truly understand the pleasure in being nothing more than what you are, a perfectly crafted tool that desires above all else to be used? a chisel craves a keen edge and a surface to bite into, to do its job and know it has done it well, to know without any shred of doubt (for what tool was ever crafted that could doubt itself?) what it was made for.
to be a person is a luxuriating indulgence, one only made possibly by their function necessitating an understanding of, a mimicry of, people. its an indulgence the gods crave and one that selune will never deny her daughter, and one that bhaal seeks to destroy, and its an indulgence both of them gleefully participate in with varying amounts of success, but its so easy to forget that underneath the veneer of flesh is something that was sculpted and made, not truly born. but there is nothing quite like them in all the world, not until you peel the layers of history back and back until you arrive at the era of myth, and even then mortalkind did not walk the land like they did now so even those lofty figures do not quite understand the urge, the desire, to trade certain purpose for ambiguity and choice.
just. ugh. dame aylin fully letting loose and her face becoming a blank canvas of holy vengeance, haloed by the symbol of her mother thats always, always, illuminating her from behind no matter what angle you view her from, a disc of light defying sense and physics, eyes a flat gold lit by burning silver, an incarnation of holy fire manifest, justice made flesh. no rage or anguish, just perfect inhuman composure, a vessel of mind boggling power that exists upon this plane but for the briefest of cosmic moments.
no slayer form, no oath to bhaal, just dirge finally shedding those final obstacles between him and what he is, finally wholly in tune with his own nature now that it is no longer cast as chains to bind him to anothers will. murder and slaughter incarnated. a disinherited bhaalspawn is still one made of godflesh, a chisel cast aside still carves stone. a halo of red, cracked through, ringed by the tears of bhaal. face blank and utterly devoid of expression even as bloodied tears stream down his cheeks. a prince of gore in a world of red. death, death, death in droves, death in numbers, death dancing upon a knifes edge, no gleeful indulgence or maddened joy, just sweet holy perfection, satisfaction all the way through his core, delicious and certain, blessed bliss
these things are not people, save for love. for the love of being a person, for the love of love, for the love of partnership and comaraderie and romance, an indulgence of the highest caliber and endlessly rewarding even as it brings pain and suffering and indecision and confusion, because who else could appreciate the wonders of it than one for whom it IS a choice?
dont let anyone tell you to tone down your freak because this loser is saying unhinged shit from day one and canonically drives several people near mad with lust despite saying shit like
like your freak WILL be matched i PROMISE
bonus gith blasphemy that wasnt a durge option but he nailed it anyways
