sorry for the wait, guess it was a bad idea to open these right after I got back from being sick? yeaaaaah
no smut for now because lizzard is a lazy dumb
Dave's friend John was pretty sweet, but it was his goofball looks that really caught Dirk's attention. It was safe to say that Dirk had a tiny crush the size of Jupiter. John's unruly black locks, adorable little laugh, and buck teeth that were often compared to Spongebob's, they all tugged at Dirk's heartstrings. Dave often called John a half-retarded baby beaver, but Dirk saw something more...attractive.
"--Dirk?" The tall, pale boy's daydreams were cut off by Jane's sweet voice. They had been baking cookies together.
"Oh, uh, what?" he asked awkwardly, running a hand back through his hair.
"Can I have the eggs please?" Jane repeated, pointing to the two eggs by Dirk's elbow.
"Yeah, sure." he ruled them across the counter to her with a couple flicks. "Hey Jane?"
"Yes Dirk?" She cracked the eggs expertly over the bowl and picked up her red mixing spoon.
"Um, about your little bro. Is he...taken?" he asked quietly, as not to be heard by the two 13 year olds playing Amnesia in the room over.
"Why d'ya ask? And no," she added with a thoughtful tilt of her head. "I don't think so."
"I was just, um, checking." Dirk focused on the counter top, drumming his fingers to keep them calm. "He's just a cute kid, wanted to make sure he wasn't stuck with a bitch or something."
D-d-d-dumb, d-d-d-dumb, his fingers scolded him. It was a nervous habit to keep his fingers busy, betrayed by his constant hours of robot building.
"You sure about that?" Jane teased, a playful glint in her eyes.
"Yes!" Dirk said a little too quickly, a blush overtaking his freckled cheeks.
"Jane!" John came bounding into the kitchen, sliding on his socked feet. "Are those cookies done yet? Dave has to taste the deliciousness that is your baking!" he hopped up to the counter, glancing up at Dirk shyly. Dirk could tell John was scared of their height difference. "Oh, hi Dirk." he said quietly before looking back to Jane for her answer.
"Yeah, yeah John I'm just putting them on the tray now."
"Only on the tray? Jane it has to go faster!"
"Oh shut up and time'll pass quick enough."
John wrinkled up his nose, squeezing his eyes shut and sticking his tongue out at his older sister.
"You are such a goofball." Dirk muttered with a smirk.
A visible blush appeared on John's cheeks as he looked up at Dirk. Without another word, he slid back to the room where Dave was.
Dirk looked back to Jane, where the rather plump girl had raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure you're sure about that?" she grinned.
"I!...no." Dirk said quietly, his blush returning as he tried to hide his face in his hands.
I am specially supporter of crack pairings, but it really irks me the dynamics headcanons about these two in fanfiction. Specially in John's part.
Guys, remember that pesterlog when John tells Dave his brother is not that cool, but quite the contrary instead? "A white guy who raps with puppets" that's how he described him, with all the intentions to make fun of him.
And then I go to the fanfiction (and even fanarts), and I just find tons and tons and TONS of shy/uke/yaoi-manga!John who is totally awkward and silly and has the most ridiculous girly crush on his best friend's totally hot and perfect older brother.
What. The actual. Fuck
I wont even mind the age gap, but if I can find just ONE fanfic where john is pictured like his true self (like john "you look like a doofus" Egbert) towards Bro, it would really make my day. Just one tiny shot, I'm not even asking for a master fic. The fact that they don't meet each other in canon doesn't mean there can be a posibble dynamic between them without being too OOC.
