CW: discussion of slurs, uncensored use of the r slur and the f slur
i wanted to talk about the way people use the R slur and are like, "no uwu its ok im reclaiming it"
like, just as a disclaimer (i consider this basically unrelated to my actual point):
but like, if someone tells me they arent comfortable with me using the r slur when around them, obviously im gonna not use it around them.
thats not really related to the topic at hand imo, though. id do the same thing with words like queer which have been unambiguously reclaimed but do still make some people feel targeted or upset.
if someone asked me not to talk about dogs when around them because their dog passed away id think about it the same way, and its not super about the semiotics of the word dog or smth
but we can observe that the word "retarded" used to describe neurodivergent people comes from a medical field that was, at its base, hostile to a vulnerable minority population. the inception of the word was not neutral, it was aggressive. it was also imposed from above onto that same minority group, and used to discriminate them out from the in group.
thats the historical basis of the word being a slur. as the medical field has advanced over time, we've shed that term in an academic context, because our treatment of and understanding of neurodivergent people has advanced to a point where "mentally slow or halted in mental progression" is not an accurate description of how the medical field understands neurodivergent people as a group.
ill admit, we can also observe that terms like "stupid, lame, moronic, imbecile, idiot", etc also have similar roots and an argument can be made that they also used to be slurs, even if they aren't used in that way anymore. so like theres a path that i think a lot of people want to take the word retarded down, and a lot of people also relate to having used it in that sense basically their whole life. i dont super want to discount that
but
so many people who use the r slur posture so much about "oh im reclaiming it", and i guess i find that pretty absurd.
like. "queer" is reclaimed bc we use queer as a neutral, descriptive word. the n word is reclaimed as a display of comradery. sometimes people will call themselves like the f slur or the d slur to say just, "im so gay" in a positive way. these are words who have a tangibly different use than they had as slurs, they are not being used to slur people.
but ive never actually seen someone use the r slur that way? its always being used derogatorily. it is fundamentally still being used as a slur. and we agree that slurs are bad. so why doesnt that compute?
you cant just continue to call things the r slur as an insult to say its stupid as hell and consider that reclamation bc its like, identical to how the slur has been used for decades
like if i say "im such a fag" im not rly saying "im degenerate and not masculine" im saying like. god i like boys and im gay and im gay. yknow??
this isnt like the word retard. ive LITERALLY never in my entire life seen someone use the word retard to mean smth other than an insult. if someone used "retard" in a like self affectionate sense to evoke comradery w/ other neurodivergent people. thats groovy imo that would be a case of trying to "reclaim" it.
my beef is with people who use the word "retard" in a way indistinguishable from how people have use it for decades, just to say "thats stupid, thats low, i dont like that" and then are like "no u dont get it; im neurodivergent so its reclaimation"
finally, a note addressed to the people who want to use the r slur as a word for "stupid" not directed at neurodivergent people:
if someone is using the r slur they should be honest about why they're saying it. and that is, always:
because its an insult, they're trying to insult something by calling it stupid.
they're trying to neutrally describe a neurodivergent people bc they think its still the 1960s
they're specifically trying to insult neurodivergent people
and like, HOPEFULLY we can agree that 3 is just bad.
2 is also bad, if arguably well intentioned. its smth to be corrected, and thats what things like Rosa's Law was passed for.
and ig in that context, i dont personally see the appeal of using it in the case of 1.
why would u want to share that kind of linguistic company w/ 2 and 3, yknow???
