Nikki

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[girlballs-archive]

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

[girlballs-archive]

congratulations for writing the funniest and also most correct tags on this post

[batmantaking-hobbits2gallifrey]

Actually the worst thing in the world is alphabetical lists that put titles begining with "The" under the "T" section

[absolutebl]

PREACH

[plumbewb]

hear me out…

[punkrock-bottom]

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

[lazydelusions]

[peachdoxie]

[kingscrown666]

I mean? Yeah? Gantu is obviously conventionally attractive

Deep voice, big muscles, Tall

Like. What am i missing here?

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

honey he has a fish for a head

[tartrazeen]

We don't know it's a fish

[baradragon]

about to lie to the government by using my google generated SSN

[hanxreyo]

for my fanfic the night and its sequel stolen kiss

god it took me more than 5 years to write something new for sesskagu. i'm glad that i'm still able to do it.

[aquaflv]

when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience

[aquaflv]

AND THEN in eight months you start getting phone calls from unknown numbers and when you finally check your voicemail they're like Your Balance Is Past Due We're Going To Kill You (even though by this point you have forgotten that you ever went to the doctor). and so you go to your MyChart account and log in with your username and password and you have to reset your password for security reasons. and you get two emails that say Your Password Has Been Reset. Was This You? and you have to go find your phone and enter your two factor authentication code and then you have to select which location you visited and then you have to click through all the Reminder: Complete Your Health History Profile where they ask if you've had any new surgeries even though you definitely told the nurse about this at your visit and then you have to find the Pay Bills tab and your balance is $179.23 and you're like why is it so expensive I thought the copay was $30? and you download a PDF of the charges and find out that they charged a late fee of $15 a month even though that doesn't add up to $179.23 and you don't even remember being told you had any balance at any point and you could call a representative and ask about it but that would probably take at least half an hour and there's no way it would actually get rid of the charges. so you go pay it anyway and you have to go find a paper check to look up your bank account routing number because they'll charge you an extra 3% if you pay with a credit card and there's a fee of $2.75 for convenience also. and then you get three emails that say We've Received Your Payment! Thank You For Your Payment!

[talesfromthecrypts]

“They said they wanted a vampire relationship with no age gap”

“No age gap??!?!?”

“And no non-con elements”

“NO NON CON?”

“And no coercion or otherwise manipulative behaviors”

“Joe they want a vampire with NOTHING”

[ampervadasz]

[mortimermcmirestinks]

via @p0tato-kn1shes

[april-december]

@bunjywunjy’s tags pass peer review too

[depsidase]

[erzvolnes]

immortal words

[allegedly-human]

nonsense words such as "blorbo" and "skibidi" are outliers and a minuscule minority and thus do not invalidate that statement

[redstonedust]

problem with tv shows today is i think a lot of them want to be movies. 90 minute episodes with full cgi and a plot so streamlined theres no time for filler is not a tv show to me. tv shows need a low budget so they can afford to send the characters on weird detours to flesh out the universe. its healthy. its good for the ecosystem. you need a show wiki writers and tv tropes cataloguers can sink their teeth into.

[roccondil]

And if they want to keep the same budget, spread it back out to 20-24 episodes a season.

[akaanmo]

i think i just witnessed a miracle

[fractiousrvt]

There is always hope

[arrow-ettes]

how it's feeling rn

[dykescully]

me trying to remember what newfoundlands are called earlier: big dog he's an island

[dykescully]

big dog he's an island :)

[opera-ghost]

[kushblazer666]

[vexwerewolf]

I love that this post doesn't include the actual text of his tweet, just his impending presence. This is the visual equivalent of a scare chord.