#discworld99

[discworld99]

Vetinari: Well, Vimes and I have that kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's --

Vimes: Sentences.

Vetinari: Please, don't interrupt me.

[discworld99]

I need you to take my dragon to be with Sam in the city. Now, I know what you’re going to ask me, and the answer is no, I don’t have a map of the booby traps, but I can tell you how he thinks.

Sybil Ramkin

[discworld99]

Angua: He is a Music With Rocks In star.

Vimes: Oh, please. Music With Rocks In stars wish they were he. The man can tell how long a corpse has been decomposing by studying the maggots inside. I'd like to see Agnes Nitt do that.

Angua: Not sure Agnes Nitt counts as a Music With Rocks In star, sir.

Vimes: She sings in Morporkian. That's Music With Rocks In.

Angua: Yes.

[discworld99]

Vetinari: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life.

Vimes: I mean, I've solved a lot of cases for you.

Vetinari: And yet crime has continued.

[discworld99]

Albert: Guess what I'm holding behind my back.

Death: BEFORE WE BEGIN, WHAT ARE THE PARAMETERS OF THE GUESSING GAME? HOW MANY GUESSES DO I GET? IS THERE A TIME LIMIT?

Albert: Forget it, you ruin everything. It's the Horsemen of the Apocalypse Code and Ethics Manual, Chapter 4, Page 83.

Death: YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TOLD ME. I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED IT. NOW I'VE WON.

[discworld99]

[Vetinari walks in with a wire-haired terrier]

Vetinari: Where is my dog?

Vimes: Aren't you standing right next to him?

Vetinari: This bitch? Please.

[discworld99]

The bartender made me my favorite drink. It's called a bottle of whiskey.

Sam Vimes

[discworld99]

I smiled at you. For WHAT?!

Adora Belle Dearheart (to Moist)