#disturbed sleep

[redinkquill]

I find myself woken at six in the morning

For no determinable reason

Perhaps it’s because I gave away tight and long sleep away

To a friend, at a certain point you just have to believe

[medicus-mortem]

@chatcambrioleur​ asked: The night had been uneventful, so far; he'd fucked her stupid, to the point of exhaustion. The redhaired beauty had been sleeping soundly, barely stirring. Something, though, seemed to change in the air, as she began shifting under the covers. Whimpers and grunts passing through her mouth as she tossed and turned. Her hands clenched the blankets, trembling undeniably. "N---nnnnh----"

Dreams were often a peaceful respite. A brief moment where she could feel innocent; young, even in her fully grown body. In this reality, Bell-mère had seen her grow up, even from afar, in whatever version of an afterlife there may be. She was able to return, though, to see her girls once more -- and they had been happy, for just a moment. Nojiko and Nami were able to hug their mother again, crying tears of joy under the mikan trees. The moment was cut all too short, though, and instead of being able to apologize for what a horrible child she'd been, or telling her about all of her adventures, the hovering, loaded executioner waited, held by a shadowy figure. Nami tried to protect her. She tried to stand before her mother, begging the figure to take her, instead. There was no other ending, though --- her mother would be shot and killed right before her, in each and every reality.

The sleepy grunts had formed into a scream, dry in her throat. Pleading sobs, her entire form, succumbing to shivering. When she opened her eyes, she wasn't under the peaceful mikan trees, Nojiko wasn't there, and her mother was still gone. Her eyes landed on the doctor, and it was hard to tell if she was red in the face due to her outburst, or because he'd seen it all. She caught her breath, a deer in headlights, thick swallows and heaving chest.

"... I'm --- I'm --- fuck. It was... a nightmare. Sorry."

Unprompted

   Few things can draw Trafalgar Law into what could be considered a restful sleep. Intense, muscle exhausting sex is one of them. Thus, after forcing both himself and a tired Nami to clean up the surgeon fell asleep to the lingering scent of sex and mikans. Not an unpleasant thing to drift off with, certainly not when the warmth of her body feels so good against his side. Unfortunately the black embrace of deep sleep doesn’t hold him long.

   A whimper cuts through his resting mind. It sounds far off, distant but pained. Law groans, his brow furrowing as he tries to cling to this rare moment of rest. Then he feels movement, subtle but shaken. The tossing becomes more violent. An elbow slams into his side, waking Law with a sharp, gasping pain. His eyes come open, the doctor sitting up with bared teeth and a growing bruise.

   Then the scream beside him and every muscle tenses, mind instantly imagining a threat. His hand opens, Room getting summoned but not quite released from the confines of his palm. The eerie blue glow chases away the shadows of the room, bathing it in the strange light. His gaze turns to the woman sharing his bed, her face contorted in pain and fear. She’s pleading, tossing, sobbing, and instantly he knows what is up. Law’s face goes grim. He does not react the same as she but he is no stranger to nightmares. There are many horror filled memories in his brain that could rip a similar cry from his lungs.

   She comes awake just as Law reaches out his other hand to shake her from the night terror. When she whips her head around, mind coming back to reality, Law pulls his hand back. He’s not quite sure how to approach this. Their relationship isn’t exactly emotionally open and he’s sure that’s what both he and Nami wants, but still his eyebrows do knit in concern.

   “Don’t apologise,” he says, smooth voice going strangely soft. “It happens.” A pause and again he reaches for Nami, motion a little hesitant before his hand cups her cheek. “You okay?”

[arcanemoody]

It’s 9:30am.

I’m in Chicago.

I’m drinking cold brew with coconut milk.

Communication necklace: purple (half-dead battery).

Woke up at 3am with a nightmare I can’t remember. I apparently asked Rocket if she would still be there when I woke up in the morning (which I don’t remember). Anxiety dreams would not be unusual after yesterday: intense day at work because we were shorthanded, went straight to winter forum where I took notes for my research subject, got a text from my sister asking for help with her rent (sent her $300)… and I immediately got home and ate my feelings with cauliflower pizza and sour sweet-tarts. Which made me feel guilty. So yeah.

With yesterday in mind, I gave myself a break and called a ride-share for Rocket and I this morning. Our driver was a fellow queer dude who just got a new place and a new puppy with his boyfriend. Fantastic way to start the day.

Anxiety symptoms: not great today. Body dysmorphia is the worst offender – I went braless and that’s still not helping. I have a meeting with the writing center during my lunch hour so running to get a bralette or intimate support wear during that free 1pm-2pm window is not an option. I’ll have to think of something else. No itches or overheating or constriction. Sound sensitivity is behaving itself so far. 

Things I feel positive about today (even though it’s hard): knitting. Writing. Drinking cold brew from a Deadpool cup. I brought lebkuchen for breakfast. I remembered my textbooks and laptop for class tonight. I’m not hyper-focusing/fixating on flaws – real or imagined. Payday is tomorrow and we have the weekend after that. I plan to see Birds of Prey on Saturday morning. Get some popcorn and an ICEE and leave the world at the door for two hours.

[dreadflyer]

Tried to get a cute pic of her only to forget the flash was on

[kindnessisstillhere]

Sleeping Somewhere Unfamiliar

Sleep is vulnerability,

It's utterly lowering our guards,

Closing our senses,

Difficult to do in strange places.

Disturbed sleep comes from it,

And disturbed thoughts,

Twisting every noise,

Changing each sound,

Creating a story in the night.

It's a begining to a horror,

Or simply unfamiliar.

It's our body and mind rejecting

That safety is in that space,

Such an unfamiliar place.

[kindnessisstillhere]

A Bang

Goodbye good nights sleep,

What happened in the kitchen?

Shelf collapsing or cats mischief,

Either way it's energy to sort out,

And stress to delay sleep even more.