#ditma

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

Hey y'all, I'm Evan! (they/it/any neopronouns) 🎓 Lead Archivist of this project!

I'm making a dating sim based (mostly) on season 1 of The Magnus Archives called: 🥁🥁🥁

Dating in The Magnus Archives!

Meet the cast! (as interpreted by me, a gremlin):

Jonathan "I'm in the goddamn walls." Sims

Martin "Wouldn't you like to know, tea boy?" Blackwood

Timothy "Yes, I am a bisexual disaster, and what about it?" Stoker

Sasha "I'm the most unforgettable one here!" James

Elias "All I've got are these fucking eyes." Bouchard

Rosie "Wow, I'm glad I've got the most tame job here!" Zampano

Peter "Fuck you, go to the beach." Lukas

This project runs on caffeine, spite, hyperfixation, and questionable life choices… (Even I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here lol)

⏱️ ETA: TBD (read this post for more info)

When it's done, it'll be free to download on itch.io!

📢 INSTITUTE ANNOUNCEMENT:

I’m on TikTok now! Watch me have a mental breakdown over coding hell to the TMA theme 👁️💻 ➡️ @/dating_in_tma

My main account: @evanthetrashpanda

🔮 OFFICIAL DEV PHILOSOPHY (Click to unfold!)

📜 CREDITS / ACTIVE ARCHIVES PERSONNEL RECORD (Click to unfold!)

📋 SUBMISSION GUIDELINES (Click to unfold!)

👾 PLAY THE BETA / BECOME A STATEMENT GIVER (Click to unfold!)

🗺️ TAGGING SYSTEM (Click to unfold!)

Last Edited: March 1, 2026 — 11:52am / 11:52 (Pacific Time — US & Canada) Reason: changed the eta to "TBD"

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

i feel like it's incredibly meta to be writing a tma dating sim, while also listening to a scp podcast lol

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

🚨👾 ARCHIVAL ANNOUNCEMENT: BETA ACCESS INITIATED 👾🚨

(AKA: I had a realization brighter than one of Elias's many, many eyes: I can post a beta version on itch.io!)

🔗 First time here? Read the intro post!

That's right! If you're brave enough to venture into the unfinished, slightly janky depths of the archives, you can now play a very early, work-in-progress build of the game!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: break my code, judge my writing, and report any spooky bugs you find. (Please remember: this is a VERY early build with placeholder art!)

A downloadable game for Windows, macOS, and Linux

The Archives are open for new statements. To access the latest beta build on itch.io, use the following credentials:

Password: StatementGiverAccess-0251021 This password grants you the clearance level of a provisional Statement Giver. Please do not share this clearance outside the Institute.

Want to be eternally credited for your service? DM me with any spooky bugs you find! 🙏

⚠️ What to expect in this build: Get into the Institute, talk to Rosie (and enjoy a cuppa!), and very briefly meet Elias! 'Tis a vibe. ✨

🔄 Update Schedule: I'll try to drop a new beta version every 3-4 weeks! The beta access password gets updated with each new release, so be sure to check this post often to get the newest version!

If you wanna help out with future scenes/art, check out this post!

📋 BETA UPDATE LOG ✏️

0251021 - Update 3

- We meet Elias (kinda!), he's still creepy! Woo! - We're starting the tour of Magnus! (I say starting 'cause it took me like 2 hours to figure out how tf to do the menu for it and I cried like... 3 times lol) (also, it's just we've got the menu for it, not the actual tour 🫠) - Changed up the fonts! (Idk how I feel about them, so lmk what you think!) - Minor coding updates to make sure everything runs more smoothly - Minor grammar & spelling updates (yay ✨dyslexia✨ 🙃)

0250922 - Update 2

- Added some funky dialogue menu options! - We're finally seeing the inside of the Institute! - Minor grammar & spelling updates (yay ✨dyslexia✨ 🙃)

0250914 - Update 1

- Grammar & spelling updates (yay ✨dyslexia✨ 🙃) - Minor coding updates to make sure everything runs more smoothly - Some minor wording updates

0250830 - Beta Launch

The first scene with Rosie, the pronoun customization suite, and the sheer, unadulterated jank of my placeholder art. 'Tis a vibe ✨

Last Edited: September 23, 2025 — 1:27pm / 13:27 (Pacific Time — US & Canada) Reason: minor formatting changes

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

Calling all Martin Blackwood simps! (HR APPROVES OF THIS WHOLESOME MENACE.)

Help me name what this SWEET TEA-GOBLIN POET would call you!

🔗 First time here? Read the intro post!

THE VIBE: Martin is 70% anxious sweater, 30% secret sonneteer, 100% "I WILL LOVE YOU GENTLY BUT *FIERCELY*". Nicknames must:

🫖 TEA PUNS: Cozy, warm, steeped in wordplay. (e.g., "Chamomile Cutie", "Earl Grey Enigma", "My Sweet Brew")

📜 POETRY MODE: Soft, romantic, secretly dramatic. (e.g., "Oh My Gentle Harbor", "Dearest Solace", "Walking Sonnet")

💪 FOUND A SPINE MODE: Rare but *potent* moments of bold tenderness. (e.g., "Mine. Fight Me.", "Unwavering Light", "Revolutionary Comfort")

RULES:

WHOLESOMENESS IS MANDATORY. NO BULLYING THE SWEET TEA MAN.

Fem / Masc / Andro names for ALL! (Martin sees your soul, not your gender.)

BONUS POINTS: ACTUAL MICRO-POEMS AS PET NAMES. (Haikus? Limericks? I DARE YOU.)

Categories:

Nicknames - platonic (e.g., "Tea Buddy", "Archive Safe Space")

Nicknames - romantic (e.g., "My Favourite Blend", "Heartfelt Infusion")

Pet names (e.g., "Darling Cuppa", "Oh Steadfast One")

✨ PRO TIP: Imagine Martin scribbling your name on a tea-stained napkin mid-Poetry Jam. THAT’S the vibe.

NON-NEGOTIABLE: IF YOU DON’T SUBMIT AT LEAST ONE ORIGINAL POEM FOR MARTIN TO WHISPER, I WILL CRY. (He deserves sonnets, you cowards.)

I’ll run polls for the top suggestions later – your chaos will be rewarded!

I'm doing this post in 7 parts to properly get the most fanon engagement from the proper simps for each dateable character lol (to check out the other posts in this series, check out #ditma nickname!)

Last Edited: September 5, 2025 — 8:48pm / 20:48 (Pacific Time — US & Canada) Reason: minor formatting changes

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

Calling all Elias Bouchard simps! (HR HAS FILED A REPORT 👁️)

Help me determine what this PATRONIZING PATRICIAN would deign to call his newest acquisition in the dating sim!

🔗 First time here? Read the intro post!

CRITICAL VIBE CHECK: Elias operates on TWO AXES:

👁️ THE EYE: Unhinged, voyeuristic, metaphysical nicknames. (If it doesn’t sound like an optometrist’s villain arc, you’re not trying.)

🧠 JONAH’S ARCHIVE BRAIN: Archaic, overly formal, borderline-parodic romance novel pet names. (Picture a 200-year-old ghost trying to sound "dashing" using vocabulary from 1823.)

Examples of the ✨Duality✨:

👁️ EYE MODE: "My Ocular Marvel", "Little Watcher", "Retina Reflection"

🧠 JONAH MODE: "Dearest Beloved", "My Treasured Companion", "Oh Fairest Sight"

👁️🧠 FUSION: "My Precious Specimen", "Dearest Pupil", "Oh Most Observed One"

⚠️ REMINDER: "Daddy" suggestions will be met with immediate litigation. Be creative with your terror.

IF NO ONE SUGGESTS EYE-THEMED OR REGENCY-ASS PET NAMES, I WILL LITERALLY ISSUE A CEASE AND DESIST. GET UNHINGED.

Categories:

Nicknames - platonic (Does he even do platonic? Attempt it.)

Nicknames - romantic (Embrace the cringe-grandeur.)

Pet names (The more it sounds like a Gothic novel mixed with an eye exam, the better.)

Fem / Masc / Andro for ALL! GO.

I’ll run polls for the top suggestions later – your chaos will be rewarded!

I'm doing this post in 7 parts to properly get the most fanon engagement from the proper simps for each dateable character lol (to check out the other posts in this series, check out #ditma nickname!)

Last Edited: September 16, 2025 — 3:37am / 03:37 (Pacific Time — US & Canada) Reason: added the "(HR HAS FILED A REPORT 👁️)" bit

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

Calling all Jonathan Sims simps! (He needs hugs. He will bite you.)

Help me name what this TOUCH-STARVED DISASTER would call you!

🔗 First time here? Read the intro post!

THE VIBE: Jon is a sopping wet cat who secretly wants to be a koala. His nicknames must balance:

🐈 Feral Cat Mode: Academic, irritable, defensively formal. (e.g., "Assistant", "Statement Giver", "Interruption")

🐨 Koala Mode: Clingy, awkwardly tender, *begrudgingly soft*. (e.g., "…you", "Fine. Stay.", "Anchor")

THE RULES:

NO ACTUAL AFFECTION. Only repressed yearning disguised as academic scrutiny. (Unless it’s 3 AM and he’s dissociating. Then maybe.)

Fem / Masc / Andro versions for ALL names!

BONUS POINTS: Names that sound like a statement label. (e.g., "Subject: [Your Name]")

IMPORTANT: The more a nickname sounds like a passive-aggressive academic note, the more it means he loves you. 💌

Categories:

Nicknames - platonic (e.g., "Researcher", "Fellow Archival Prisoner")

Nicknames - romantic (e.g., "My Persistent Distraction", "Unnecessary Variable")

Pet names (e.g., "…just sit here. Quietly.", "Statement #001: You")

Note: If your suggestion doesn’t sound like it was recorded at 3 AM during a breakdown, IT’S TOO HEALTHY.

I’ll run polls for the top suggestions later – your chaos will be rewarded!

I'm doing this post in 7 parts to properly get the most fanon engagement from the proper simps for each dateable character lol (to check out the other posts in this series, check out #ditma nickname!)

Last Edited: August 26, 2025 — 4:29pm / 16:29 (Pacific Time — US & Canada) Reason: changed placement of "first time here" bit

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

Calling all Timothy Stoker simps! (HR HAS BEEN NOTIFIED. THEY ARE AFRAID.)

Help me name what this BI DISASTER TORNADO would call you!

🔗 First time here? Read the intro post!

THE VIBE: Tim is 50% glitter cannon, 50% melancholic poet, 100% "I WILL LOVE YOU LOUDLY". Nicknames must:

✨ FLIRT MODE: Playful, ambiguous, unhinged. (e.g., "Hot Stuff", "Fellow Disaster", "HR's Worst Nightmare")

💣 LOVE BOMB MODE: Extra, public, zero chill. (e.g., "My Reason to Exist", "Sunshine Incarnate", "Public Disturbance (affectionate)")

☕️ "HAPPY DEPRESSION" MODE (if you know, you know. and you know.): Wistful, soft, bittersweet. (e.g., "Temporary Sunshine", "Almost Okay", "Sweet Distraction")

RULES:

NO SUBTLETY. Tim Stoker subtlety died with his last braincell.

Fem / Masc / Andro names for ALL! (He flirts with EVERYTHING.)

BONUS: Names that sound like a protest slogan or a dive bar pickup line.

⚠️ WARNING: Tim’s nicknames may escalate from "Hey Cutie ;)" to "I WILL RIOT FOR YOU" in 0.5 seconds. This is a FEATURE, not a bug.

Categories:

Nicknames - platonic (e.g., "Partner in Crime", "Fellow Agent of Chaos")

Nicknames - romantic (e.g., "My Personal Apocalypse", "Beautiful Catastrophe")

Pet names (e.g., "Rebel Yell", "Temporary Bliss", "Statement #FML (lovingly)")

Note: If your suggestion wouldn’t make Elias file a restraining order, IT’S TOO TAME. GO LOUDER.

I’ll run polls for the top suggestions later – your chaos will be rewarded!

I'm doing this post in 7 parts to properly get the most fanon engagement from the proper simps for each dateable character lol (to check out the other posts in this series, check out #ditma nickname!)

Last Edited: September 5, 2025 — 8:50pm / 20:50 (Pacific Time — US & Canada) Reason: minor formatting changes

[dating-in-the-magnus-archives]

u still alive gang

Yes! butttt, bad news: ya boi flew close to the sun (or Eye lol) and got major burnout (along with the ao3 curse hitting me like a ton of bricks)

good news: I do plan on still making the dating sim, but the official release date is gonna be tbd while i get my life back on track 😅