Calling all Jonathan Sims simps! (He needs hugs. He will bite you.)
Help me name what this TOUCH-STARVED DISASTER would call you!
🔗 First time here? Read the intro post!
THE VIBE: Jon is a sopping wet cat who secretly wants to be a koala. His nicknames must balance:
🐈 Feral Cat Mode: Academic, irritable, defensively formal. (e.g., "Assistant", "Statement Giver", "Interruption")
🐨 Koala Mode: Clingy, awkwardly tender, *begrudgingly soft*. (e.g., "…you", "Fine. Stay.", "Anchor")
NO ACTUAL AFFECTION. Only repressed yearning disguised as academic scrutiny. (Unless it’s 3 AM and he’s dissociating. Then maybe.)
Fem / Masc / Andro versions for ALL names!
BONUS POINTS: Names that sound like a statement label. (e.g., "Subject: [Your Name]")
IMPORTANT: The more a nickname sounds like a passive-aggressive academic note, the more it means he loves you. 💌
Nicknames - platonic (e.g., "Researcher", "Fellow Archival Prisoner")
Nicknames - romantic (e.g., "My Persistent Distraction", "Unnecessary Variable")
Pet names (e.g., "…just sit here. Quietly.", "Statement #001: You")
Note: If your suggestion doesn’t sound like it was recorded at 3 AM during a breakdown, IT’S TOO HEALTHY.
I’ll run polls for the top suggestions later – your chaos will be rewarded!
I'm doing this post in 7 parts to properly get the most fanon engagement from the proper simps for each dateable character lol (to check out the other posts in this series, check out #ditma nickname!)
Last Edited: August 26, 2025 — 4:29pm / 16:29 (Pacific Time — US & Canada)
Reason: changed placement of "first time here" bit
