Every God Competes to Babysit Sick Baby Danny (aka "Divine Babysitting Games: Who Can Survive Toddler Danny’s Fever?")
Clockwork: “I shall manage his schedule with absolute precision. No tantrums under my watch.” Ancient of Storms: “I offer calming thunderstorms to soothe his restless spirit.” Ancient of Life: “My healing mists will restore him swiftly.” Ancient of Chaos: “I’ll make his fever fun.” Fright Knight: “I volunteer to scare away the germs.”
Bruce: “I don’t care who does it—just keep him alive.” Alfred: “Tea and biscuits are prepared. I’m ready.”
Clockwork (attempting order): “Nap time is at 1900 hours. Deviation will not be tolerated.” Danny (sneezing, glowing faintly): “No nap. Play.” Ancient of Chaos: “Perfect! Playtime chaos is my specialty!” Ancient of Life: “Rest, child. Restore.” Ancient of Storms: “I can lull him with gentle rain.” Danny: casts a tiny storm cloud that drenches everyone “NOPE.”
Fright Knight: lurking in the corner “I’ll protect him from nightmares and bad germs.” Jason: “He’s already scared of me. What’s new?” Danny: smiles devilishly “You good scary.”
Ancient of Life: “Allow me to sing a healing hymn.” Danny: covers ears “Too loud. No sleep.”
Clockwork: “I will regulate his feeding schedule.” Danny: throws juice box “I am the schedule.”
Ancient of Chaos: “Then let chaos reign!” Ancient of Storms: “Chaos + storms = disaster.” Ancient of Life: “Healing + order = peace.” Danny: giggling “Chaos is fun.”
Bruce: “Someone—anyone—please just hold him.” Alfred: “On it, sir.” picks up Danny gently
Danny (cuddled in Alfred’s arms): “Cookie?” Alfred: “One, freshly baked.” Danny: “Cookie good. I nap now.”
Ancients (in unison): “The power of the mortal butler triumphs.”
Bruce: “Alfred’s officially the best babysitter in all realms.” Danny: half-asleep “Alfred... king too.”
Clockwork: “Next time, I veto the divine babysitting competition.” Ancient of Chaos: “Where’s the fun in that?” Fright Knight: “I’ll bring the snacks.”