#dm chat

[archaeomedic]

Really sorry guys this started as a crack!chat and turned heavy ( I don't have the energy to turn it into a full on fic):

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Raven: Morning Clarke

Clarke: Not today satan

Raven: Awe did some one wake up on the wrong side of Lexa's bed today kiddo

Clarke: That would require using her bed for sleep in the first place

Raven: -laughs- Well damn girl, get some

Clarke: -sighs- Crap, not that it's not accurate but I was trying to creep you out

Raven: Why would that creep me out? You're both consenting adults. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of and can be one of the many aspects of a healthy expression of intimacy, if that's how the involved parties choose to express themselves. As long as your being safe and happy, I'm happy for you. Besides Lexa has her moments of awesome and she's not bad on the eyes -winks-

Clarke: Geee thanks for that unwanted vote of approval MOM. Was there something you actually wanted.

Raven: Huh? Sorry I was distracted by you finally calling me mom honey bunch, -mock dramatic tears- got a little choked up.

Clarke: You are a piece of work you know that right.

Raven: Oh yeah! I was wondering when I get my present?

Clarke: What the hell would I be getting you a present for this time of year?

Raven: Cause it's Mother's Day you silly goose and I hope you picked out something extra special for Abby

Clarke: YOU'RE NOT MY MOM RAVEN FFS

Raven: -gasp- -mock indignation- You wound me Clarke, is that anyway for a child to speak to their favorite mother

Clarke: Just cause you're screwing my mom doesn't make you my other mom Raven

Raven: The look on your face when you said I'm screwing your mom was priceless princess. But not the point, we're actually pretty serious Clarke and I was hoping to talk to you about something.

Clarke: OMG NO

Raven: I haven't even said anything yet

Clarke: You look like you're about to ask my permission to marry my mom

Raven: Well you're half right. I do want to ask Abby to marry me, but I'm not asking for your permission or blessing. Clarke you're an adult, if you genuinely dislike the idea of us together you have the right to feel that way, neither of us are saying you aren't valid in having those feelings. I love Abby, in ways that are so beautiful and powerful I can't even describe them. I want to spend the rest of my life putting a smile on her face and be there for her when I can't. I will never intentionally hurt her and this has not just been sex or a fling. I was hoping that as a present to Abby today, we could all sit down later over a nice dinner and discuss the progression of our relationship and reach a mutual understanding. We want to include you Clarke, I want to be a part of your life and you a part of ours. You know Abby does. But you are an adult and whether you agree with the relationship or not I am in this for the long haul.

Clarke: -thinking-

Raven: However, if the issue is simply one of discomfort at the idea of us together, I'm gonna ask that you get over it, cause I'm not running away on this one.

Clarke: Ok.

Raven: Ok?

Clarke: Let's do this. Let's sit down and talk this out. Honestly I'm not entirely against the idea, this is just super weird and awkward.

Raven: Well, in that case, get over yourself cause the world doesn't revolve around you. Glad you're going to be mature about this and are willing to discuss it.

Clarke: Speaking of mature, does that mean you'll knock off the damn jokes

Raven: Not a chance buttercup what kind of step mom would I be if i didn't lovingly torment you

Clarke: .......

Raven: Now if you'll excuse me it's mother's day and I have a few special presents to give your mom myself. If you know what I mean

Clarke: Ewww Fuck You Raven. just Fuck Youuuuu. I'm getting the fuck out of here for awhile

Raven: Don't be late and I still expect that present dearie. Maybe a trophy that reads "Raven Reyes: #1 Motherfucker"

Clarke: ughhh fucking terrible man, I'm gonna go hang out with Lexa before I puke or punch you

Raven: Sure thing champ, just don't spoil your appetite eating out. OH also if the place is a rockin when you get back don't come a knocking.

Clarke: I hate you so much

[archaeomedic]

Raven: Hey Clarke, your mom is bangin

Clarke: Dude wtf

Raven: oops so sorry, my bad, what I meant to say was I'm bangin your mom ;)

Clarke: Yup because that is 100x better. I need a drink

Raven: Got you covered half pint, did body shot's off your mom last night, we're bound to have some extra booze left over

Clarke: Think you could shoot me instead, preferably a head shot, cause right now that is the only way to wipe that lovely imagery away

Raven: -winks-

Clarke: Could you just not be you sometimes

Raven: Nope cause I am me and I am awesome and I am doing your mom

[valuecifer]

Sehnsucht: Information Available For Public Disclosure #2

Part two of the ongoing accompaniment to the Sehnsucht Recaps, wherein I reveal some of the mystique of being a DM.

In this session: Throw-ins, Throw-aways, Extensive improv, Worldbuilding As-You-Go, and a lil bit of Real Talk.

SO, IN CASE YOU DIDN’T FIGURE IT OUT, the Forest Spirit Golem (who the players have nicknamed ‘Miyazaki’ because apparently I managed to get thematics and hype down PERFECTLY), was all improvisation on my part. There’s nothing in any of the scenario packs that talks about FOREST SPIRIT GOLEM

There was, however, a “What makes the site of the quest dangerous” table, of which one of the options was the site had a magical intelligence and personality all its own, which is what I used.

There was also going to be butterflies! With razor-sharp wings. That didn't happen because the thorny brier hedge and the intelligent forest linked up too well together.

Other things left on the cutting room floor: An encounter with redcaps (which might have been useful for combat purposes), A faerie princeling in trouble (dropped mostly because I couldn’t figure out a good faerie princeling NPC when all of my faerie nobility went into Faevid Bowie.)

There was never any chance of Faevid Bowie/Da Wei directly harming the players. One of the secret weaknesses the players could have discovered was that the lord cannot act directly against humans, whether with magic or force. He was able to cause mischief in the village and have two children kidnapped in order to make the village aware of the summons, but he couldn’t directly harm them. 

The pie-stealing line was a throw-in, but it got me thinking. Woolan most likely -is- a fae or fae-touched, It fits well with my plans. Those plans aren’y up for disclosure, though.

The magic moonstones/eggs in fact come from the reward table on the scenario pack, they seemed like the easiest thing to turn into a quest macguffin. The part of them being what appeases the forest spirit/keeps it from arguing against the ogre and his redcap friend was made whole-cloth. I didn’t know what they did until the very moment I said that.

Bad accents, even if they are hilarious, are super fun and help you get into full improv that much easier. The Ogre was fun to speak for, mostly because he’s a blowhard and I get to use deliberately broken sentences like “It ain’t know what good fer it”. 

Caroline’s save vs spell was because you need to pass a check to willingly lie, betray, or steal, of which it was mostly the first two. Had Caroline failed, she would have babbled the whole thing to the forest and probably lost some rep for trying to pass one over on it.

I was going to get Caroline that magic stone in some way, because it’s full of Utility Spells and hell, what bard isn’t complete without hilarious amounts of utility? That’ll at least let her keep up with magic for a while.

The fae that Caroline drank under the table’s full True Name is Dal Gwirod, welsh for “Hold Liquor”. I REMAIN VERY UNCLEVER IN THE WAY I NAME NPCS OF IMPORT.

There is only one curse of the fae worse than scruubloord, and it is fuccboi. I’m garbage, it’s me.

The track I used for the GOLEM APPEARANCE wasn’t actually a shadow of the colossus track at all, but a tribute track i found at the last minute. It’s right over here. IF I HAD FOUND THE TRACK LINKED IN THE RECAP I WOULD HAVE USED IT. It fits the Miyazaki angle way better.

For the record, I expected the party to murder the ogre and the redcap and have to Metroid-style escape a very angry forest who was going to threaten them with rushing rivers, falling rocks, and trees. BLOODSHED IN THE FAE COURT IS VERY BAD, KIDS.

There’s no way the Captain of the Guard isn’t named Glenn.

In all honesty, I’m so glad that my improv was super well received. DMing is like being an adult - you don’t actually know what you’re doing until you do it, and there’s a lot of panicking and internal screaming that no one ever hears. I’ve said it once before, but stepping up and DMing this campaign is actually a sort of self-therapy for myself, due to dealing with consistently low self-esteem and self-worth due to pressures and myriad Issues relating to my household environment, the recap REALLY undersells how fucking excited everyone got - there was a lot of people going “oh my god” “this is so cool” and “HOLY SHIT” by the players, and as a fledgling DM that makes me SO HAPPY TO HEAR HOLY SHIT, because it’s ten times easier to buy into your own hype when your players are hype.

I have no idea what Jami’s drum did that awakened the golem. I promise I’ll figure it out in the next week or two.

I’m gonna have to try and follow up Miyazaki the Golem in the next adventure (which is the Cult Scenario pack), FUCK. That’ll be a challenge.

[archaeomedic]

Work order request: Abby telling Clarke she’s doing Raven (because Raven can’t talk)

From/for: @abbygriffinn and cartinelli

Setup: After getting back from Mount Weather, Abby and Raven are taken to medical. Raven’s passed out and Clarke is checking on Abby, things are all somber: ——/———/———-/———/——–

Clarke: I’m so glad you’re ok, both of you Abby: Me too honey, I know that’s not how you wanted things to play out but thank you Clarke: I’m dealing with it Abby: Any word from the grounders or Lexa? Clarke: No. Honestly I don’t want to think about that right now Abby: I’m so sorry Clarke Clarke: Thanks mom, how’s Raven? Abby: She’s in rough shape, we’ll know more when she wakes up Clarke: Let me know if there’s anything I can do Abby: I will. Listen sweetie there’s something I need to talk to you about Raven: *sleep talking* Hey….Cla….rke Abby: Crap. Not yet. *moves to put a hand gently over Raven’s mouth* Clarke: Mom..what’s going on? Abby: It’s nothing really, I just…I um…damn this is hard. Clarke: ………? Abby: You see….we uh….that is Raven and I….we…. Raven: *wakes up, licks abby’s hand that’s covering her mouth and winks* Clarke: Well? You and Raven what? Abby: *looks at Raven then stares Clarke dead in the eyes* Fine. Clarke, I’m screwing your best friend. Clarke: *laughs* Yeah right mom, funny. Nice to see the MM didn’t take your sense of humor in the harvest Abby: I’m not joking, Raven and I have been sleeping together for a while now, it’s serious. I’m doing your best friend Clarke. Raven: *weakly but smirking* That’s…my…girl Clarke: Hahahahaha NO. No fucking way is this happening right now Raven: *slowly draws abby down for a quick kiss, then turns her head to look at Clarke* I….make….her….go….boom

[valuecifer]

Sehnsucht: Information Available For Public Disclosure #1

I’m gonna probably do this following every recap, maybe not as detailed as them, but some thoughts behind what I was doing, what I felt like I was doing, how things went, and what I’m looking at myself as a veteran tabletop type turned newbie DM for a bunch of my crazy peeps.

Yes, the priest is literally Pat, from Two Best Friends/Super Best Friends/Zaibatsu (or should I say Patsworth Boivin), an old adventurer part of his own crew that wandered the land. His best friend and spear-brother Matthias, the ‘rookie’ marksman Liam, and their senior and objectively team leader, Woolan. Of these four, two are stationed/have settled down in Amflussburg. Liam is the leader of the rowdy and often cheery Hunter’s Guild, and Patsworth, the most devout of the four, settled down to become a priest. Woolan and Matthias’ locations are currently unknown.

Amflussburg is literally just “castle by the river”. No one ever accused me of being witty. At least it’s an appropriate fantasy name. (I’d be able to get away with this more if a third of my players didn’t know German).

The setup for how all this was made up was randomized, including who was responsible and how. The most time-consuming part was the first table, where you use the player-generated NPCs to determine who would be responsible. I rolled Father Boivin, but the other options were The Enigmatic Miller, Caroline’s Dad (who is basically just medieval fantasy Greg Universe), the retired soldier working the farms, the leader of the Hunter Guild (who at the time wasn’t Liam but HE IS NOW SO), Ramses the Brewmaster (the man with booze, the man with booze), and Nuada’s adopted father, Cpt. Jon Porte (who I’ve been mentally thinking as Sam Vimes as played by Simon Pegg, which I think was the intention)

I actually rerolled the “bring this problem upon your village” part because the first result was that Boivin was hiding that he killed a dude sometime in the past week and I couldn’t do that to the players right off the bat. Or at all. PATSWORTH’S A JACKASS BUT HE’S A BIG GOODY GOODY. And I got the “in anger, uttered a foolish curse” Which, you know. Pat. So of course he called the fae a bunch of scrublords scrüblörds.

Regarding THE BABY WAR, I’m not sure I have the hang of combat yet, but on the other hand, I think I may have thrown human enemies at the group a bit too quick. I think if I did it over I would have had you guys go straight into the forest. It gave Zero a good excuse to bow out (since he wasn’t having a good brain night despite having fun, which is perfectly acceptable) but I may have gotten a bit too real. I DIDN’T EXPECT THEM TO NEED TO PASS A CHECK TO NOT THROW UP. Should have thrown more monsters at them before letting them tackle adult humans. MURDER IS BAD KIDS.

I’m not sure who the captain of the guard is yet. I definitely don’t think it’s Nuada’s dad (town watch and the guard are probably separate branches). They’ll probably be someone else the party can rely on. Maybe a friend of Nuada/his dad? Answer hazy, ask again later.

Recent Events is a really good way to get both the DM and the players warmed up. They’re only for the BtW scenario packs but I might use it for stuff in Further Afield and write my own once we get into that. They give one player and a friend a chance to do things related to the plot. It worked out really well!

The “watch out for werewolves” line was a throw-in because of commentary from Rach’s doofus David, who we have made jokes about sounding so much like Pat’s it’s terrifying.

There’s no werewolves in the forest.

Probably.

Drunken Fae and Faerie Godmom will be back at some point. Don’t know when, but too good to no have them recurring.

I’m not sure who the faerie lord is but he’s like, a more bloodthirsty david bowie circa Labyrinth. I’ve been practicing dialogue for him.

Both the pregenned scenarios I’m running will link back into the overarching campaign a bit. I’m already laying all the hooks for future bits and threat shenanigans.

skeleton_laugh.wav.mp3.ogg

[archaeomedic]

Raven: Yo Clarke, wake up and get your sorry ass to the gate

Clarke: *throws pillow* Fuck off

Raven: You won't be the one I get off. Now up

Clarke: uuuugh why?

Raven: Some trouble or other with the grounders

Clarke: Lexa can handle it

Raven: Yeah man she's the one at the gate and looks super pissed

Clarke: Alright, alright, untwist your panties, I'm going, come on

Raven: So did you two have a fight

Clarke: What? No.

Raven: Disagree over how many people you were going to kill this week

Clarke: Low blow and no.

Raven: Not able to keep up in bed?

Clarke: ...........

Raven: *smirking* Cause I mean, she looks like she's got a lot of energy

Clarke: Stop

Raven: and could pull off some serious acrobatics

Clarke: Please stop talking

Raven: All i'm saying is she looks like a difficult one to satisfy

Clarke: What the hell Raven, knock it off and I do just fine thanks

Raven: and if you wanted some pointers I'd be happy to help out

Clarke: No.

Raven: cause your mom, man she has got the moves

Clarke: Why are you always like this?

Raven: I've learned so much

Clarke: Why me Raven?

Raven: and I just think it's only fair to impart my new found wisdom on those less fortunate

Clarke: Shut up

Raven: seriously Clarke being a doctor gave your mom some hella smooth fine motor skills, particularly a refined dexterity to her fingers

Clarke: ...........I think I'm gonna puke

Raven: and she does this trick with her tongue that-

Clarke: OMG!! Stop, not one more word

Raven: or what? You'll tell your mommy on me, oh please do, I look forward to her punishment

Clarke: Oh look I have a present for you and it's two little birdies *flips Raven off*

Raven: her spankings are a particular favorite of mine

Clarke: ENOUGH RAVEN

Octavia: Sup losers

Clarke: Thank you Octavia. Tell me, what's going on with the grounders

Octavia: What? Nothing they're all training back at camp

Raven: *bows* and that's my cue, it's been fun, Clarke you've been a wonderful audience, Octavia your timing was impeccable as always, don't forget to tip your waitress on your way out cause my next performance will have the ladies screaming as they come in *walks away*

Octavia: *laughing* She got you again huh Clarke?

Clarke: I don't want to talk about it

Raven: *via Clarke's walkie* I'm doing your mom Clarke

[bumblebeedm13]

Romeo and Juliet: Things was never meant to be together.

Me:"shit, look i'm sorry, i cAN CHANGE, I SWEAR‏ COME ON"‏

Fireduckduck: "pfft idgaf" cuts the thingy for the train "byeeee beeaaatccchhh"‏

Me: *quietly tears behind his mask*‏

Me:‏ Romeo and Juliet: Things was never meant to be together. Especially not a black cat and angry goat.

Fireduckduck: Make that a book

Fireduckduck: 10/10 best fucking book ever

Me: dAMN IT I CREATED A AU

Fireduckduck: Good job o

[archaeomedic]

Raven: Morning Kiddo

Clarke: ugh, damnit Raven it's too early for this crap

Raven: well look who's got their grumpy pants on today

Clarke: go away

Raven: sure, I was just taking a break anyway but I've been gone awhile

Clarke: ....

Raven: she's probably wondering where I went

Clarke: no

Raven: time to get back

Clarke: don't

Raven: to doing

Clarke: please stop

Raven: your mom

Clarke: ........

Raven: I'm doing your mom Clarke

Clarke: I hate you