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Can you give me some highlights of any recent dnd games you've had? I've not be able to pay much attention or ask questions on twitter but I love to peek in and know what's going on <3
OOOHHH i throw it under a read more so i dont spam my dashboard LMFAWOEIHGAWOIEGHAWOIH
Literally the funniest fucking moment from our Far From Home session 1 stream (ps sorry about the watermark x)
Taima: Now you’re looking in this box, Amia, that I described before, you find a couple of other drawings that you made- that you have made together and other things, and you start noticing something interesting...
Millie: [Quietly] On God...?
Taima: Uh, yeah, you start seeing like, there’s pictures- what’s more it’s like, there’s several pictures, you know, which is like of- of uh, probably of the six of you, not necessarily all at the same time, but every time- you start to realise as you look through these pictures, like, when a scene is taking place during night time it’s always two moons for some reason. Always. Just always- no, like, without a single miss if there is- if it takes place during the night there is two moons. One a little bit smaller than the other. Taima: And you can tell that it’s not just a mistake and not just someone who drew a moon and the sun at the same time, because it’s not always- sometimes both are in half, and sometimes one is full, and one is half and so on.
Amia (Olivia): Hmm.. It looks like we really did have an obsession with two moons, eh?
Tyler (Kit): Just like Star Wars.
Bean: [Laughs]
Tyler (Kit): I know that sounds- just like the Elder Scrolls!
Bean & Taima: [Laughs]
Amia (Olivia): Sure...
Tyler (Kit): No, I’m serious!
Morrigan (Millie): Why was she always drawing two moons...?
Amia (Olivia): Maybe it was a theme, something she was into... I don’t know.
Morrigan (Millie): Did she have- did she have an astigmatism?
Amia (Olivia): I-
Tyler (Kit): Wots that mean?
Bea (Rosy): Why would- why would there be two moons if her eyes were bleeding?
Kit, Rosy & Bean: [Laughs]
Amia (Olivia): Ah- mm... God, no that’s... not what that... I don’t-
Millie: [Laughs]
Amia (Olivia): -know, actually, if she did
[Scattered laughter]
Tyler (Kit): [Desperate] What does that word mean?!
[More scattered laughter]
Tyler (Kit): Isn’t that when like, your palms and your feet start bleeding,
[More laughter]
Tyler (Kit): and like- then they get holes in them?
Bean: No! that- [LOUD laugh, muffled talking from Tyler in the background] THAT’S A STIGMATA!!!
Tyler (Kit): We’re talking about astigmatism-
Bea (Rosy): You know, that’s what I thought too! [Bean laughing over next sentence]
Tyler (Kit): YEAH!! And they have to like, exorcise you.
Kit: See? Bean knows what I mean.
Bean: It’s a s- It’s not astigmatism that’s a stigmata.
Kit: I know this-
Millie: [Dice rolling noise, clapping, LOUD laughter]
Bean: Okay, that’s good, so long as you know this.
Olivia: Amia is... visibly dying.
Taima: Oh, wow, okay-
8/7 Dnd Highlights -Bloodlines: We enter hot topic
New campaign (lol out of many) This wasn’t supposed to be serious BUT IT DID
-We all enter battle and dsljfldsfjlf THERE ARE DROWS EVERYWHERE
-Sin (a sweet “young” elf) HATES DROWS. She hates them so much that she just wants to stab them.
- SHE STRIKES FIRST AND TRIES FIRING HER GUN BUT IT JAMS
- Athis stealth like hides behind a rock no one notices this guy at all - sneaky sneak.
-Suzurin charges into battle and acadia takes a double take because dayuuuum
- Athis tries to acrobat a rock but it’s too tall and he fails, he was trying to be cool but it didn’t work
- Aadia decides to use fire breath - starting out strong by trying to take down multiple enemies
- One of the casters makes one of his enemies grow tall af
-Sin does one of her curses and just makes his giant turn into a giant baby (all the great stats he has from being big just mean nothing - he goin dooooown)
-Suzurin being the boss tank she is fighting 3 guys at the same time and none of those attacks do anything because of her armor!
- Acadia is literally heart eyes because of her buff
-suzurin tries to do a wink but because of her armor she can’t see it buuuuut she blows a kiss
-Athis tries shooting behind the rock and he’s having a rough time and jams his gun now and now everyone knows he’s behind the rock
-Acadia dodging arrows left and right and she just really wants to bash them in liek “why yall trying, My next enemy is to kill the guy that hit athis”
- SIN BEING AN AMAZING HEALER - she’s having a rough time because she’s so ANGRY but SHE IS DOING HER BEST
- SUZURIN SHOPPING DOWN CHARACTERS LIKE NOTHING. SHE TAKES DOWN THE GIANT IN ONE SWOOP
- Athis behind a rock sees the giant just head down “where did the giant go?” *falls*
- Acadia doing mad weapon casting combat stuffs with her trident and spells LIKE A BOSS SHE BE KILLING ANYONE WHO SHOOTS HER OR ATHIS
-FIRE BATTLE BETWEEN ACADIA AND THAT CASTER SHE BREATHES FIRE BACK
- Athis starts taking shots! HE FINALLY DOES FULL DAMAGE AND IS TAKING DOWN THIS NEW BOSS (Aundril, a drow, really strong, we could die)
- CONFIRMED AUNDRIL IS WEAK TO BULLETS AND MAGIC
-We are all just attacking now with all we can he is getting frustrated (and so is our dm)
- He lets out a green aura that literally kills his comrades (but we survive with out rad rolls) Me: That’s some bad body stench yo dang
- ACADIA TRIES TO ATTACK BUT SHE GETS A NAT 1 AND STABS HER TRIDENT INTO ATHIS’S LEG - she is sad af because that is her child hood friend damnit
-She breathes fire again FOR MORE DAMAGE. ATHIS DOES HIS STAB SHOOT COMBO AGAIN AND PLANS TO DO THAT TILL THE VERY END.
-AUNDRIL LOOKS AT SIN AND CASTS A SPELL WE. HAVE. NO. IDEA. WHAT. IT. IS.
-WHEN IT’S ATHIS’S TURN AGAIN HE ENDS THAT FIGHT WITH RELOADING HIS REVOLVER AND SHOOTING HIM IN THE HEART EVEN THOUGH HE HAS A BLEEDING LEG
- AT THAT MOMENT SIN TAKES THE HIT TOO! A DESTINY BOND??? SHE GETS HURT AND BLACKS OUT
-The battle is over and while athis processes what his final shot did and sin has her harry potter after death purgatory experience - instead of Dumbledore it was a blonde lady with long hair.
That is it.
yep
MORE TO COME!
Tonight’s D&D Highlights
Met this weird, decaying cleric dude building a cathedral and lying about why, kept trying to get us to stay the night there but I could just feel that something was off
They seemed starving so when he said they had food, I insight checked him and he was telling the truth, he was
Later found out that they were cannibals
The food was us
Had to teleport away from a horde of cannibalistic zombie things and ran out of Dimension Doors so the druid TreeP’d us to her hometown in the heat of the moment, a bajillion miles away from where we were heading
Met the lady my character’s been banging’s mom
She turned my character into a cat with magical ale as a joke
I guess liking pussy runs in the family
At first light, immediately TreeP’d back and went back to fuck those cannibals up out of spite and kept fire bolting them from the back of the druid babe as an eagle
Immediately regretted it
THE BIG ONE SHOOTS LINES OF BILE 200FT LONG
IT WAS SUCH A BAD IDEA
WHY DID I HAVE TO BE PETTYYYY
So the first session we ever had of dnd I cut off a kobolds dick after bashing his head in (which was completely out of character for my neutral good life domain cleric) and I kept the dick in my bag until this most current session, where in the middle of a really hard battle I whip the dick out and intimidate half the enemies by threatening castration on them.
DND ROUND THREE
The paladin that represents the lollipop guild
Player makes a drinking game out of the DM apologising
The panther is there to provide emotional comfort – spent the rest of the session asleep
Our fire loving fighter gets offered five copper in scrap for a sword, and is asked for certificate of authenticity when says it’s magic. Instead waves it in the air in an attempt to activate it.
Fails a persuasion check to get it fixed for five gold.
The second character gets the sword fixed and a soft toy for 15 gold
I think half my role is making sure our fighter doesn’t go off on her own
When we get to a side quest...
Our fighter, a sword wielding woman with a manic grin, bursts through a door saying ‘Hi, I heard you want violence’
DM (in character): I don’t have a door, where did you get that!?
Fighter: I might have stole it from your neighbour
Bard: Don’t mind her, she’s just a bit excitable
Elf Ranger (me): And not left unsupervised if we can help it.
There was a restraining order given, and the fighter was sent to wait outside under the supervision of the paladin’s dog – who had a bucket of water. You know just in case
The rest of us seeing what the quest involves, when told it requires tact mention the fact that we burned down library. Not reassuring, especially given the entrance. And our bard, with the highest level of persuasion / charisma rolled a nat 1
The bag of handling for the fighter
Paladin agrees to make a donation to the church. And another player reminds the DM that they forgot gift aid
We go outside to find that the fighter had only set fire to a shrub
Our next stop is to go and see a former employer to put in a complaint about job satisfaction
I’m a six foot three tall elf ranger, and yet most of the time our most persuasive / charismatic character is the three foot tall bard who after a successful role aggressively strummed her ukulele and screamed at this guy...
A nat 1 was somehow a useful distraction.
DM: Why does he need a bucket
Fighter (the library fire starter): Hi
My character decides to chase after the fighter who’s just run off with a lit torch. In the meantime the rest of the party get trapped in a tunnel.
Fighter fails a perception check and ends up rolling down a set of stairs with a lit torch. Not what ‘stop, drop, and roll’ means. “I meant to do that”
By this point I’ve realised the others need help, and tell the fighter to wait til I get back. And the fighter goes and gets themselves electrocuted by the glowing blue box, says “I meant to do that”
That is fast becoming a catchphrase
The others are eventually freed, and we catch up to the fighter to find her in a room with dead wolves in a cage and an owl bear in another.
I the elf ranger initially fail the animal handling roll to get the owl bear to trust me, whilst the others are trying to open a door.
Whilst trying to open the door its decided that it’s impolite to ask a dwarf if they’re a flat head or a Phillips. We don’t have dwarf
Even a roll of 22 didn’t get the door to open. So of course we had ‘have you tried pulling?’
After an offer of bardic inspiration the DM let me roll animal handling again, successful and got to save the inspiration for later.
Meanwhile – “we're forcing this door opens, even if it kills us’
The best that was managed was punching a hole in the door at which point gas started coming in to the room. The fighter plugs the hole with a shield, whilst I talk the owl bear into escaping (the fighter might be a bad influence). The owl bear opens the trap door (a relief as my character had been ducking up to that point) and escapes. I boost the paladin out first, who lowers a rope to help the others. The most successful was the bard who yelled “get on my level” when she was out.
I successfully lifted myself out leaving our fighter to drop what she was holding, make a running jump at the rope and climb out. Also successful and the lit torch was left down there to burn out the gas.
All we had to do then was close the trap door and make sure the owl bear I had just set free didn't go on a rampage.
“I chime in with a haven't you people ever heard of, closing the goddamn door”
“No, it’s much better to take these things with a nice and thick winter blanket”
Yeah one of the party had to sacrifice their blanket to get the door secured
So far we are responsible for a library fire and setting an owl bear loose in a city.
We find him in a barn, and as I’ve still got ‘speak with animals’ running. I tell him something along the lines of as I helped to free him he can leave the city and go back where he came from.
The DM finished the session with the owl bear getting out of the city without seriously hurting anyone.
Which led to the disclaimer “No humans or owl bears were seriously harmed in the making of this campaign
8/4 Dnd Highlights- Kalveran- Old People, their grandchild, and a birb
Back at it again with some dnd night fun :D Here are some highlights! In which our team is mostly elderly people over 75 years old and one orc who is 25 years old. oh boy.
- Introductions :D - My orc boy runs into a table. And one of the sweet old lady characters is giving out cookies ^^
- *everyone introducing themselves* Hugh Man: I’M A DOCTOR :D (his name is unfortunately sounding like human :D)
(everyone lost it we don’t know why we just did)
-Everyone making introductions and Veer my orc boy slightly shy and Sevilla being precious and patting his hand.
- One of the white knights is now envisioned to look like draco malfoy
-Ichabod the old man is just judging everyone and Veer feels uncomfortable
- ichabod doesn’t want to walk and Veer offers to carry the old man (he said no)
- veer: this old man is a day drinker
- Hugh has a mask under a mask he is heavily stealthed
-WE ENCOUNTER TIGERS
-SWEET GRANDMA SEVILLA GET’S ATTACKED BY THE TIGERS - Veer gets angry slashes and intimidates a tiger
-Veer also was able to dodge a surprise attack by a second tiger :O WHAT A SWIFT BOY
-Hugh yell’s I’M A DOCTOR as sevilla took a lot of damage
-it’s ramona’s turn and she was just was filing her nails and decided to cast a spell that kinda failed. ;w; (it doesn’t matter her filing her nails was everything)
- Veer and Sevilla ended the battle is a rad combo move where sevilla trips the tiger and veer stabs it.
- Dm reveals THAT WE KILLED TIGERS WHO WERE PARENTS TO A BABY TIGER
-Veer feels the built - because backstory
-Sevilla has now adopted a baby tiger
-veer tries redeeming himself and gives a gentle pet.
-Ichabod is literally terribly stabbing the parents bodies as he attempted to skin them.
- LITERALLY AN ENDING WHERE WE JUST ORPHANED A BABY TIGER I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING WHAT
- We camp XD
more to come
