#doctorflayed

[doctorflayed]

Wonderful Day

—---------

“Curtains up, sun in the sky

Today's the day I start my life

I'm a fool on his merry way

Think I might just fall in love this day

Oh oh!

Oh what a wonderful day!

Today is the day I start my journey

A fool is gonna fall in love”

And one day our fool did fall

took a trip to a place he knew well

not exactly heaven, long shot from hell

He wandered and he sought

every shop window and parking lot

it was a beautiful June eve

when he found the entity of his personal disease

He fell for a fatally beautiful girl

His heart and body knew what to do

But what he didn’t know —

She wasn’t human at all

She was the goddess of pain

Slim summer-dressed in blue

Here our little fool didn’t know what to say

So he dropped, slammed his head down to his legs

And begged this beautiful creature to please look his way

She smiled and waved

And they both said hey

And that was our poor fool’s day

The two fell entwined

The fool love blind

The goddess hungry for tribute

One day she fell lay

Her marble skin, sudden ancient clay

And fool cried, oh he moaned

He fell to her side and he begged her oh please

"My love all your wounds, all your woes, oh how may i atone”

And this was the day our sweet fool met the blade

And became our lovely Doctor Flayed

The goddess then smiled and chuckled amused

As she pulled out her collar, her blades, and her tools

The color returned to her skin

and she stripped his off him

each stolen nail, every broken rib

His heart and mind did slip

The fool fell into a loving madness so deep

That when she was away he did nothing but weep

Every scratch and scar and burn and break

A love note, a tender loving embrace

To strip the skin and kiss the heart within,

This was the gift she sang

And with this terrible tune

Our fallen fool's ears rang

And then one day she was away

And then a week

A month

She was gone

After weeks, months or years

of endless, pathetic Foolish tears

our flayed fool began again, to wander…

Heavens help the realms where his feet fall

[doctorflayed]

Beast [update]

He who makes a beast of himself

gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Shall I compare thee to the judgment day?

When passion wakes, the beast comes to dance.

You are the gruesome altar left behind where I prayed,

I can hear the creatures smolder, soldiers in your hidden war camps.

I come as fool and faithful, enemy priest,

to bare the poison flowering in your veins.

We’ll dig its roots beneath the callused beast,

then twist the knife till every instinct drains.

Listen — whose voice is honeyed, whose is bone?

Do they serve your hunger, or your higher name?

Crown yourself with caution on the throne;

the crown is thorned, yet still yours to claim.

So long as man has hunger, taste, and need,

the demon feeds — and calls the feast righteous deed.

Be ye appraised, oh hopeless wretch.

Pontifex my title, brutal corrections my domain.

Lacerate the weakness, cauterize all regrets.

I’ll wash your wounds in burning lakes—

remember Carnifex, first of his name.

Let me show how the blade heals wilted flowers,

how we raise a tower from blood and spit.

Why run, you coward?

Have you finally seen the scale of your sin?

I bring you verity dissected, glimpse the holy word

each verse hidden deep in marrow, veiled in nerve

Why the fuck are you crying?

Your spirit begs for this,

blade against shame, this war in your wounds

I can hear your heart's cries and pleas

For the open vein, the burn, eternal sleep.

Beneath those layers of artificial muscle

shall we source the sacred

In your name, Invoke the goddess

open yourself to sacred Pain—

grit those molars, grind ‘em raw,

bite the blade till steel kisses bone.

I’ll twist it slow…

let the wet crack split your crown.

More pressure—

feel the lesson flood the throne.

Surrender to the fear,

nothing more than a trembling lamb

in sweat-soaked gown.

The apex fallen low, creature dressed in plastic

head to toe.

Beast or man—

where’s that golden tongue now?

Lust swallowed your name,

left every vision twisted in silk and blood.

Pride already sold the crown…

fear stole your crooked fangs.

Eternal child—

your foolish hands still chase the fastest fix.

Drown the conscience in chemical sludge,

pack the spirit tight in wet, black clay

till the shell hardens, cracks, and splits.

Nothing left but the violent, starving fray—

that creature inside,

worst shadow of every him.

Ancient tongues once sang low iron hymns

to tame the wolf and sate the void’s cruel thirst.

Every other road is rat-race sin—

panic pills, cheap release, pathetic chase.

We could burn so much brighter.

Give that surplus passion teeth and flame,

or watch it corrode, devour your soul

and mine.

He who makes a beast of himself

offers a sorrowful sacrifice,

crawls straight to hell—

and calls it

his only chance

at ever becoming a man.

[doctorflayed]

Wounds

Sometimes I think back

to my saddest of memories.

The first girl who loved

just cuz it was me.

This was before sweet Pain had ripped us in three.

I was young, fool blind by puppy love.

She told me bout her wounds, her exile above.

Even in the dark, when my fingers felt the scars

I never questioned, never doubted.

Trusted every field report, every faked cute pout.

I didn't sense the demons that haunted her —

loss of I, trauma side, razor hidden in the apple of her eye.

I thought all was good.

They sang songs of sorrow every night,

eulogy of youth dying fast.

In my mind: she's just bummed, no big deal.

I was a Fool before fools, so blind it's unreal.

Sweaty night in my old room

look away, your hand on my chest.

Things are heating up — you ask if you could be punched.

You asked me to hit you in the stomach.

Crying, my princess is gold and doesn't know it.

A slap is one thing, but you begged “beat me”

and I couldn't harm my flower like that.

Her fetish came too strong,

young mind nurtured wrong.

A goddess whose name: her own Wounds.

She saw the beauty in them; consumed by the bruise.

I watched her wither away; not a word, stupid fool.

It only got worse, her macabre my chemic curse.

For every thought I blessed with smoke,

smudging fear and worry from my yoke,

it was not til night late; break I took,

first job; fact fun.

Cryptic message of goodbye; I love you, trains cry.

Managed to stop her, bring her home.

But I still remember the concrete hum.

Redline on the jeep, panic as I drove down Thorpe street —

10 mile stretch, 93.

Search party for my cup of English tea.

The way the streetlights and passing cars taunted me,

every shadow an illusion,

vanta decoys imitating gothic chic.

You can't imagine the sweet relief —

million pounds and some shame fallen off of me —

when I found my beautiful Wound, dressed queen funeral.

Poor girl, looking back I can't have done a thing.

Some wounds are persistent;

resist all healing.

If I could break the rules, teach myself one thing,

I think I'd tell myself to just listen.

She struggled with her spirit; traditions shaming soul.

Struggled with her health; medic manifolds.

Struggled with the mirror; demons twisting self perception.

That foolish, atheistic boy, his love victim to forces beneath them.

Eventually ways did part; I lost poor Wounds to destiny.

Right now writing this, I think I'm gonna cry.

Your heart was so warm neath the shadows walls.

Your touch so calm, quiet my animal.

Your soul so sacred, soft arms which held the sick.

I wish I knew then what I do now — banish those hellish dogs.

But fate is cruel and destiny equal true,

this world is never easy on the beautiful.

Out of all this twisted pantheon I've founded,

you did bring out the best in me

but I ended up just like you,

except now I bleed curse from my wounds.

[doctorflayed]

3 days till the deadline

Yet no peace for my mind

I said id never end up like this again

But did I ever really get away?

Am I really the same?

What the fuck is wrong with this brain

I'm fading quickly again

Rip out my teeth, break my hand

Give me something to keep my crimes hidden

Foolish sinner; his only target

Foolish self that ran his body for years

Hiding inside;just waiting for a moment of weakness

Meantime he controls the subline

Subconscious corruption over long time

I let this vessel rot from the inside

And only on the edge of death did I find it

The reason to keep me writing

The only thing to pull back from dying

I found strength in the pen,

Meaning in every word and shitty memory

I'm filling out the shell of me

Little moments and love songs

Words pour out from my deepest wounds

Is it really possible? Something I can do?

Can I come back, make it true?

3 days to the deadline

Thinking maybe once I'm back,

My bed will forever be only mine.

[doctorflayed]

F.L.A.Y

Three a.m. on an ugly May day.

No sleep for the wicked,

so to say, foolish Flay.

For if wicked had a shape

it would be his venomed gall.

Left hand swings, drawer of secret things —

small whip, chain collar, love notes and silver rings.

Green flames crawl, consuming the memories.

He inhales the smoke deeper, to ease all his malady.

Right hand finds purchase atop a stack of tomes.

Mindless shuffle through our bored bag of bones.

These forbidden magics — how he met gods and burned down homes.

Nightly he finds himself, medicated on the blood of the earth.

In the books he finds no hope, no future and no love.

All he reads amongst the words

are the souls he lost above.

Not just to sky, easy to mythologize —

but every single spirit that walked all over him.

He dreams of those nights of reckless sin,

flaming hearts like comets in his night.

The taste of genuine, pure love —

never has he known a greater high.

Foolish boy, what are you?

I can sense your shame,

the scent of blood and rot.

Mass grave of ghosts, his worn-out cot.

The flesh which remains,

desiccated, ribboned,

decorations of bonecraft and giblet.

Lost in his illusions, fooled by his own smoke.

Sickened by the face he sees in the mirror.

Soft mind and shredded heart,

the one true undead führer —

imperial corpse locked in his tower alone.

Buried in tomes of mysticism and old phones,

he sinks deeper into his miserable memory.

Tyrant son borne of three fathers:

Base demon, unfitting keeper, and the voices he found in fog.

First taught him anger,

second how to maim the hurt,

final how to shape the unholy ring.

In rage and red he found himself,

sensitive boy gone through warrior’s hell.

End result: the shell.

Meet the wounded healer,

Doctor with necrotic knowledge.

His healing summons hearts and bodies from their graves

for one more weekend, a carnal, empty charade.

His lips and hands draw infernal circles,

binding empty vessels desperate for someone to stay.

Black magics call them —

the ones whose wounds wait for darker days.

Yet only the rot sticks on him…

the fool we know as Flay.

[doctorflayed]

Princess of Battle Mountain (update)

Oh princess, butterfly in back alleys maw

Since that night in November, please say you remember

The scent of our smoke, the sensation

Having me wrapped around your finger

Forgive my arrogance, writing songs to the singer

Something in your words and your vessel

makes my skin crawl

We burn the sacred incense, take a breather

California nights, Anaheim air tastes of reefer

tell me bout your cats, your collection of fancy import figures

Oh Princess of Battle Mountain, I'm the artist behind crimson fountains

Spellsmith and loaded gun, hungry for a queen to pull the trigger

This bold, bat-shit bard is far behind, but you boost my vigor.

I’m feeling your name, but mine might be the winner.

King of the walking dead,

Southwest son with electric decay seeping from his tongue

Take this song as dowry,

Hear my pleas, I'll keep the court flowery,

Sorcerer turned poet, flayed man puts down the blade

Pick up the pen, take me back to those human days

Take this song; hear my heart before the feelings fade

Feel the scars, hear my truths raw

君のことが好きだ.

(Kimi no koto ga suki da.)

[I like you.]

Kiss this bloody fool

Leave my red stains on your sheets and bra

Need your claws; pastel flames to roll me

Shred my skin, be my deity, only

この愚か者を焼き尽くし、

骨の髄まで絞り取れ

(Kono orokamono o yaki tsukushi,

kotsu no zui made shibori tore.)

[Burn this fool completely, wring me out down to the marrow.]

Golden heart; this goddess to emo kids

Stealing hearts; loud rooms and mosh pits

My eyes and cheeks hunger for your soul fist

Leave me bruised, let the droplets run down my cashmere noose.

Bloody nose; dripping rose

Open-split my head; inner thoughts spill out of me.

汝は爪にして燃ゆる魂、

私は獲物であり、泣き濡れる悪魔だ。

(Nanji wa tsume ni shite moyuru tamashī,

ga wa emono ni shite nakinureru akuma da.)

[You are the claw that burns the soul, I am the prey that weeps as a demon.]

Swallow my shallow curses, give whats left; rusted bone saw

In song and in skin, your prayer leaves me raw

Need your talons in my arm

Clench down, drag me deeper in your craze

I’m fiending for a taste, 1000 cuts, inkless tattoo of your face

You're the star crossed sentinel,

preaching gorgeous gospel; priestess dressed in kawaii core

I'm your alchemist, fool-metal; 3rd Elric, stoned philosopher

Equal exchange not enough; gimme fucking more

I’ll flood it all, blood red water in baptismal founts

Everything for Suki-hime

Princess of Battle Mountain.

I’ll rend out unwilling space for you.

You’re the idol, and I’m Fool-icia

Cathedral of Crimson Coin,

Sanguine Lucrecia

Don't think that I forgot that conversation on cuisine Italiana,

With red hands I’ll feed ya

Keep you hooked like nicotina

My voice, vodka sauce, this annoying heart that beats

Something in your eyes, reflected starry nights

I’m the auburn wolf rug beneath your feet

Rest your legs and walk all over me.

愛は、決して消えることのない痕跡を残す。

(Ai wa, kesshite kieru koto no nai konseki o nokosu)

[Love leaves a mark that never fades]

[doctorflayed]

Seasons

I’m the flame and the ash,

you’re next season’s sunflower.

Violent cyclic life — yet death accepted makes us a coward?

Digress against my point:

Right now you’re the relic I anoint.

Oh silly sunflower, oh blissful butterfly,

with joy and with love

I burn in winter’s lie.

For when my bones and dust do settle,

the soil and earth will spoon and kettle.

As it goes, this wondrous round —

and everyone gives me a look when I say

“When I’m gone, just throw me in the ground.”

No box, no urn,

no flame, no formaldehyde.

Just me, a silk sheet, tall evergreen.

Return body to the earth, spirit aetheric dream.

I do so with glee, knowing oh it is you

who comes after me.

I am the tree, the storm and lightning,

the fields and the lost critters.

Even in death, we are all clean.

So worry not,

sunflower, butterflies —

live on in bliss and silly fun, good times.

I’ll watch from above, and all around,

and every single day be nothing but proud

[doctorflayed]

Nightwing's Mom

Saturday, early May, twenty twenty six…

The man behind the mask sits…

Philosopher and spellsmith, my wand lit cigarettes

I'm working my way down now, only daily six

Vape, pouch, patch, gum

Every artificial or non-combustible replacement

Are just petty distractions replacing no one

Funny I use that phrase, as I drag on my internal disease

Because replacement is the function

I need a hit whenever I think of your knees

Black skirt and turtleneck

High socks and those converse

Every memory of my hands along the curve

That panicked laugh every time my fingers brushed the nerve

Every extended eye contact

And bite mark on my back

The only remedy I have left is fire and ash

Fresh air and fresh smoke

Fill my lungs, stimulant inspired

To this day when I miss you, I buy those cowboy killers

When it really hurts I’ll take it further

Keep it bold, cut the filter

Just like you taught me

Those late nights in my backseat

Parked up on Rose hill

Drop you off, vanilla and sandalwood trailing sweet

I'm sorry I never learned how to comfort you while you cried

Eventually did, but that was recent, I can’t lie

You were my best friend and my only target

My poetic lover at first sight, the beacon in my darkness

I'm sorry to us both, I was so wrapped I couldn’t speak

Even when I did it was cruel, petty, mean

Easy to blame it on the drugs, but i was broken before the Ecstasy

I don’t want forgiveness, or a second chance

I just want you to know that I loved you

And I always wanted to dance

To those Elvis records you hoarded back then

Blue Hawaiian, Hound Dog, and Blue Suede Shoes

i know, i know, only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you

But alas… I had already become the fool

I hope you never find this, never have to taste the reminder

its 10 Pm, and I'm about twenty five minutes

from the place we met and the first parking lot

that I called you princess

I can't help but miss that sickly bliss

but I know things are better now

You have a good life, I’m proud

And thankful you put up with my strife

Live well and be safe, and always keep in mind

If you ever have some crazy shit — aliens, demons, gods, or any kind of bind

Give me a call. I’ll make the time.

Cowboy killers…

Vanilla and sandalwood…

I would’ve truly loved you...

Feel free to forget me, signed your fool.