selftrue.journey

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selftrue.journey
I miss her so much. She is in the spirit world now. My best buddy. #dogs #doglover #doglife #doggrief https://www.instagram.com/p/CdoQHH9JaPa/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
My heart searches for you in every moment.
A series of unfortunate events
Taking Onyx in for blood tests, following a worsening of his cough, to the extent he would gag and sometimes vomit. First of all, the suggestion was a rare strain of heartworm in the city in which I live.
The bloods came back clear
By this point my lovely sedentary gent was avoiding getting on the sofa somewhat actively and coughing terribly when he did, to the extent he would have to get off.
Next test: kennel cough, no...
As his stomach seemed to be expanding I became worried about bloat, despite having my intuitive sense I wondered if maybe it was something that simple... no evidence of bloat, vet said...
Meanwhile, his eye started playing up... it was slightly milky and a little bigger than the other, with the 3rd eyelid that dogs have frequently moving upwards and looking quite strange... so back to the vets it is...
With a tic. A tic had attached itself, quite rudely, to my dog, in the midst of all of this... It was caught in a jar and detained for its sins.It was massively full of blood. Fortunately, this didn’t throw the vet off much during this appointment, and his eye issue was taken seriously.
We need a referral to a specialist as soon as possible... but then my vet was on leave for a day and so no one chased up the referral. I eventually did and found out that it had been given a less than urgent priority level. This was over the course of 4 days, and during this time, the eye had worsened, but was sporadic in playing up. Taken back on the Monday, the vet immediately made enquiries and my beloved boy was booked in for the Wednesday post-haste. We mustn’t delay the specialist said... my clinics were cancelled at that point.
Meanwhile, noticing that Onyx had stopped eating kale, and was eating fewer biscuits. This was a lab who would eat pretty much anything and everything he was given. But the spikier the food, the more difficult it became to eat (it seemed), so cheese and ham were fine, but dry food and vegetables suddenly became quite a challenge...
Meanwhile, a walk to the local park / bog also became a massive, massive challenge... having to stop, slowing up considerably... stopping 6 times during a walk... “he has a systemic problem”...
The specialist appointment was on the Wednesday. An opthamology specialist. She said that it is likely that he would need his eye removed; it could be a tumour. It may not be cancerous, she said, but without taking his eye it would be very difficult to tell.
Onyx’s eyes were eyes you could get lost in. The eyes of an old and beautiful soul. He had the most gorgeous eyes. Of course, it was a no brainer, and it was advised that it is done at the local practice as this would be significantly cheaper.
Because the insurance only covered up to 4k... was I annoyed about that? I believe it was reduced as a matter of course and I probably had a letter saying “now your dog is 8, we are reducing his cover” or something, but... shit. Devastation. Suddenly cost factored into the equation, albeit slightly. Would have paid through the nose, regardless, but it was considered the most sensible option at the time. Offered a CT, again due to the cost implication, an X ray was the eventual choice, as this would likely show up any significant tumours... This would be at the usual practice.
The specialist vet also said that there was a slight anemia on his bloods at this point (there wasn’t about 5 days prior...)
And we noticed a small lump on his bottom, we took a sample of it. The biopsy should be back tomorrow or Friday............
....I knew it.... he has cancer....and it has spread...