Dominance in women is treated as a vocation you learn, like dancing burlesque. You choose a name, aesthetic, learn stylized ways to build rapport. The focus is on what the audience wants, and stopping you from being eaten alive by that selfsame audience that perceives you as a means to an end.
Dominance in men is taught like an extension of their gender, and gets up it's own ass about being a Good Safe Man Who Protects. The sub is treated like a fragile flower you are taught not to trample, but who needs you to build a protective bubble for.
Both tend to ignore that D/s is actually a collaborative relationship. In best practice, subs have full agency and take as an active role in building and maintaining the dynamic as the dominant. Unfortunately, egalitarian collaboration isn't as sexy as infantalising the sub as an inherent part of being interested in being submissive.
