Destined to be alone.
Maybe not destined but maybe by choice.
I thought I have met a nice guy, (I know short of time span to start dating but my breakup has been happening for months and months ahead) but it ended up being like every other guy. Honestly we are all adults! if you are not interested in me after the time we have spent and talked together then have the balls to tell me so instead of giving me the cold shoulder and making me feel dumb and stupid. Great hit to the self esteem I have left.
But then I started thinking, I was ignoring my ex too. So today I decided to have my own set of balls and just for sure end any hope he had to get together. I told him straight up that it wasn’t gonna happen. He needed to move on.
After that, I decided I need to be alone. I don’t want anyone with me anymore. I need to learn to be by myself. I feel sick to my stomach and a bump on my throat. Haven’t felt like this in a long long time. Just by talking to my friends it feels like a chore. I just don’t want to deal with anyone overall. I come to work cuz I got no choice, I got bills to pay. But if I could I would stay home and just sleep away my life.
Its nothing bad in particular in my life, I am a positive person and my life in general is very calm. Just lately I have been feeling like this. I don’t know why and I doubt its depression. ugh....I want to live under a rock or just start all over.
