Slaughter
Slaughter isn’t a word Mikey likes. It reminds him too much of the life he left behind. That is what it felt like sometimes when they were just out there doing the right thing. Sometimes, the were just too good for the bad guys and they never had a chance.
And sometimes he enjoyed it. Especially when they were the sleazy bad guys and the victims were so innocent they didn’t even have a speeding ticket in their name. Years after he had let his life of being a ninja go, and he had started to heal from his grief and fear, he started to get angry when he saw injustices happening, and angrier with himself for not doing anything about it. One time, and only one time, he completely lost control.
The thugs deserved it, the ass kicking. But they didn’t deserve to never have the chance to redeem themselves and they would certainly never get that opportunity after what he had done to them. It was only chance that his uncharacteristic rage was interrupted and he didn’t actually kill them, because the police arrived and broke him out of his blinded bitterness.
He was terrified of how good it felt to cause them pain because they did deserve it, and he was angry and confused and was afraid he was losing himself just as he was beginning to find himself. He spent 6 months reflecting and meditating, afraid he was losing his mind and control like Raphael. That he was becoming a beast fueled by anger. From then on getting involved was something he avoided at all costs. He learned to repress any lingering emotions that drove him to feel compelled to react in anger. He even learned to ignore Raphael who continually poked and prodded and taunted him and tried his damnedest to get a reaction.
He just wanted to be himself without fear of losing control. But until he could figure out just who he was, he decided it would be safer hiding in anonymity, and in his cowardice.
But then, it became who he was and he forgot who he was trying to find.
