• When you first met him, the puppet boy's elegant movement, round features and glassy eyes enamored you completely. He was a refreshing change to the gloomy atmosphere of the Hotel, with both his looks and his crushing strength. He was twitchy, oblivious and clumsy with his hands. But his curiosity and gentle nature charmed you.
• Not to mention his beauty- his smooth skin was dabbed with freckles and his hair was flawlessly styled, with not a strand out of place. The puppet was expertly molded into the perfect image of a human, as much as he didn't act like one.
• You were bothered by the puppet's lack of name, but he didn't care himself. "You can call me any name you'd like." Is what he told you. So, you called him P. P... for "puppet", the automated kind, or for "Pinocchio", the famous story of that wooden puppet everyone knows. P could also stand for "pretty", too.
• P took an interest to you after you assigned a name to him. Everyone else has only ever called him Geppetto's Puppet, but you wanted to call him something else. Why? He was curious about you. P thought that, if puppets can really "like" things, maybe he liked you.
• At times, P would bring you things from outside the Hotel that he thought you'll like or have use for. Sometimes he'd bring you fruit or sweets he found around Krat. "Human food," he'd offer quietly, holding out his gift in his palm.
• Returning the favor to him made the puppet's heart tick faster. He couldn't indulge in human enjoyments like food or drink, but he appreciated small trinkets or things to decorate himself with, like a hair clip or ribbon. He kept these things close, usually tucked into a pocket or fastened in his hair.
• P developed a desire to protect you. It's different from how he felt with the other Hotel residents- he didn't just want to keep you safe from the puppet threat outside the Hotel walls. He wanted to keep you close and comforted inside of them, too.
• P, wishing to be ever closer to you, would happily sit with you while you sleep or when you're occupied with something. As long as you wanted him to, of course.
• While the puppet boy never slept, he could enter a resting state to conserve his energy if he so chose. He was most comfortable resting upright in a firm chair, since it reminded him of how he woke up for the very first time. He let you gaze at him and touch him in this state- he knew that being close to him satisfied you, and he himself enjoyed being fussed over.
• After feeling your hands on his own when you spend time together, P started to seek out more physical contact with you. Your soft touch fascinated him, compared to his cold synthetic exterior. He wanted to be enveloped by your warm humanity. You'd hear his gears grind noisily in his chest when you snuggled, but the sound of the puppet's mechanisms were like a lullaby to you.
• When you'd sit or lay together, the stone-cold feel of the puppet's body would concern you, even if he didn't appear to be bothered. As a puppet, P never lied to you or deceived you. So, when he told you he felt much better after you draped a warm blanket over him, it wasn't technically a lie. He did quite enjoy the cozy sensation of your skin against his own.
• P's expressions and gaze never quite changed, even as he grew fond of you. He always stared. He wasn't sure if you could sense the care and devotion behind his eyes- after all, he was a puppet. His eyes, like the rest of him, were synthetic constructs, unfit to reveal his rudimentary feelings. His eyebrows and lips too never betrayed the slightest hint of emotion.
• P never told you that he loved you. In theory, he had the words for it, to be sure. Often, he spoke in quiet, disjointed breaths, as if the very gears in his head were turning as he considered the best way to convey his thoughts. You both felt the affection between you even if P didn't know how to put words to it. It's possible he might've said it, in time, if only he had been given longer to grow and change.
• The last time you ever hugged P was 4 weeks to the day since you first met. He was to rescue Geppetto from the kidnappers, as were his orders. You hugged him as usual before he left, which he returned quickly and rigidly. A soft, cold kiss was planted firmly to your temple by the gentle puppet boy, as if to reassure your nerves. You never saw P again.
• There was no doubt that your P was dead. You never found out, but he gave himself up for Geppetto to rip his heart out. Your puppet love, in his ambition to earn his father's approval, certainly couldn't bring himself to refuse. P was formidable and steel-tough... Of course the only way for him to die would've been for him to do it willingly.
• He was yours, for that short time. Your friend, and your blossoming love. He was a puppet given the free will to do anything he wanted- to lie, to disobey. He never did, but he used his autonomy during his short existence to make 1 choice: to be with you.
Guys whatever you do, do NOT think about how happy Lars must've been when he first saw Bianca and learned he could finally touch someone without feeling pain, and do NOT think about how devestated and betrayed he felt when he thought she was wanted to leave him and how he thought his only way to feel comforted by the prescence of someone else was leaving him.
Edit: And dont think about how worried Karin was when Lars was actually yelling at Bianca, even when earlier in the film she knew in her heart that he never ever raised his voice.
shane is so incredibly isolated and it fucking kills me. there is not a single person in his life who is truly familiar with the shape of his desires other than ilya.
shane’s wants are made to be secondary in every one of his relationships. he’s forced to remain unwaveringly steadfast and level-headed as captain of the montreal metros; agreeable and docile as the prized son of his parents. he is trying so, so hard to be everything for everyone, all of the time — and amidst the storm, ilya is the only person in shane’s life who lets him want. who lets him take. i am so legitimately sick to my stomach
