#dousche

[drinks4joey]

The Wingman

The wing man is specially designated by his bro to provide support and assistance. To be charming and witty at the right time as to help his bro unravel the shell the “target beauty” might be wrapped under. Not steal your glory and make you look like a lame ass who can’t play it cool...Anyway, date this Wednesday so i’ll try again 

[kenna56]

Dousche

Dousche: "Hey Kenna, I met someone new and I am leaving you for her because I found something in her that you didn't have."

Me: "But...Wait."

*I am sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service.*

[abrandnewtomorrow]

I love my brother, but sometimes he can be a self-centered self-righteous douschenozzle. 

[tummytat]

the next time a guy asks me if im on my period i will answer "are you?" and before they can answer proceed to beat the living shit out of his dick with a bat until theres blood coming out of it or it falls off

[abrandnewtomorrow]

Robin Thicke wears sunglasses indoors.

That's all I really have to say about the matter.

[jordanlorenz97]

[alessonin-romantics]

What did I ever see in you?