... Ninja Info Cards (Kabuto x Reader)
Request: “As a secondary request literally anything where Kabuto doesn’t make me wanna kick him? I loved him so much during the Chunin exams and then he just went down hill from there. So like any kinda redeemable Kabuto situation.”
Word Count: 953
Tags/Warnings: Chunin Exams, Attempt at Humor, OG Naruto, Slight Canon Divergence (to accommodate RI) @emeraldwitches
Notes: So like per usual, I just latched onto a certain section of the request and ran with it. At the time of writing this, I had just seen the “Ninja Info Card” remix. So I mean, I had to.
Kabuto knelt down onto the floor and placed the deck in a neat pile in front of him. The Rookie Nine gathered around the senior ninja, listening intently to his lecture. All of their eyes remained glued to the tiny stack of papers in front of Kabuto.
“I spent four whole years gathering information for this Exam. There are close to two hundred of these cards.” He flipped one over, revealing a blank surface. He placed a single finger at the center and the card began to rotate. “They are pure white to the eye. To open the data on these cards—”
“What're you doing?” Kabuto hardly batted an eye at his junior’s question.
“The way it works is that no one can see the info without using my Chakra… For example... Like this…” Kabuto made a single-handed sign. The card began to spin faster before erupting in a cloud of white smoke. A map appeared.
“Whoa, awesome! What information is this?” But before Kabuto could answer, he was roughly pulled yanked up by his collar.
“Are you filling these kid’s heads with some nonsense, Yakushi?” He smiled sheepishly in your grip, turning his attention back to the gaping Rookie Nine. Your lips turned downward in an unamused scowl.
“Might I introduce the lovely—”
“Oh, flattery will get you nowhere.” Your brow twitched as you shoved him away. Kabuto scrambled back to his deck. You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest intimidatingly. You scanned your gaze of the group of junior Genin who collectively took a half step back. Naruto, apparently, missed this united decision and had been left standing at the front of the pack. And as you made sharp eye contact with him, he finally noticed that he had been hung out to dry. “Has he been talking your ears off about his fucking ninja info cards?” Naruto felt almost afraid to answer. He twiddled his thumbs.
“W-Well, yes.”
“A lot of good they’ve done him.” You rolled your eyes, blowing a stray piece of hair from your face. “His seventh year…” Kabuto looked up, forehead crinkled and eyes cast down in a bashful expression.
“Isn’t it your seventh year too?” You scoffed, opening your mouth to protest. Sakura looked between the two of you, puzzled.
“So, uh, I guess you’ve known each other for a while then?” Kabuto’s attention shot up and your teeth clenched.
“No way!” You exclaimed with a certain amount of urgency. Kabuto pouted up at you, slowly shuffling his cards. “I’ve been fortunate enough, or perhaps unfortunate enough to have met this one for the first time this season.” Kabuto sat back on his heels, sulky expression apparent.
“That’s rather harsh don’t you think?”
Sasuke pushed through the gathering of rookie Genin, teeth clenched. He had had enough of this bickering.
“Of those cards, are there ones with detailed individual information?” You watched on, paying little mind to what Kabuto had to say. And as the child sat down in front of him, your focus on the other contestants only heightened. Surely, not all eyes were on you, but you knew for a fact that ears all over the room were honed in and listening. You glanced towards Kabuto as he spoke, his cards spinning on the floor. He might not be on your team, he might be a complete stranger, but you knew a softie when you saw one. He should know better than to be flaunting that kind of information about.
“As far as the Village Hidden in Sound goes, it's a village of a small nation that just sprang up in recent years, so there isn't much information…” You inwardly cringed, scanning the group of Sound ninja out of your peripheral. That’s definitely not something that he should be saying. But before you could dwell too much on Kabuto’s choice of words, a shout came from the gathering of rookies.
“My name's Naruto Uzumaki! I won't lose to any of you! Got it?!” You gaped.
If you didn’t have the attention of the whole room already, you definitely did now. A hushed roar went over the crowd of participating ninja. You probably caught it before anyone else: the shifting of weaponry. Despite coming to the Chunin exams for the umpteenth time, you certainly weren’t slacking. A blur.
One of the Sound ninja leaped forward, coming at Kabuto with kunai drawn. The spectacled ninja expertly dodged out the way only. Kabuto slid back near the wall only to be ensnared by another member of the Sound team. And as the ninja swung, you ran forward. Kabuto managed to avoid the attack once again, but he stopped short. The glass of his frames began to crack before shattering completely. Just as quickly, he fell to his knees, the contents of his stomach emptying onto the tiles. Just as the Sound ninja cocked his arm to land another hit on the fallen Kabuto, you skidded to his defense. The sharp of your sword pressed against his forearm armor.
“Save the fighting for the Forest of Death!” You growled, kicking the masked ninja away. And before any more action could ensure, a white puff of smoke erupted at the far side of the room.
“Silence! Degenerates!” A stern shout cut through the tension of the room. “Sorry to keep you waiting... I'm Ibiki Morino, proctor for the first test of the Chunin Exam!”
The two children from before helped Kabuto up from the floor. You frowned deeply, wondering just how he’ll survive this exam. Meanwhile, you’ve officially gotten Kabuto’s attention. Unbeknownst to you, he had his own mission to execute, but perhaps he’ll come up with one excuse or another to follow your progress as well.
Notes: Did you know that the word “crackerjacks” actually came out of Kabuto’s mouth? I never usually do these kinds of fics, but it was pretty fun! Hope it wasn’t too cliché for y’all. That’s another series. Ba-dum-pssh.
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