#dozyisdead

[dozyisdead]

so, i made the family tree.

mind you, it is subject to change and was shoddily thrown together at 1:30 am after i got off work.

if you have any suggestions, please let me know!! i promise i will make a more comprehensive one, im just very tired.

@littlebearnation because you wanted to see the loscar family tree

@quigzahhutt @23fallencomets @everythingne @ipleadbritney because you guys had the best reblogs and thought you would like this

@struggle-era i think you would appreciate the mini-britney-ification of logan in this as well, same with the piastri-leclerc adoption

[dozyarchive]

✦ The Little Kirkwood Curse ✦

Anyone remember the end of the 2024 season, when it seemed like someone had put a curse on Williams? Well, the Kirkwood siblings remember it well.

TWITTER

River & Clan✫ @.babykirkwoodcontent • 28 Oct

Everyone saying kyle kirkwood put a curse on williams! EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER!! it was river kirkwood we literally have an old video of her performing some sort of ritual because kyle barged in her room

1,037 replies 2,491 reposts 9,942 likes

siaaa @.sarrgeant • 4 Nov

NO CAUSE WHY DID I FORGET THAT KYLE’S LITTLE SISTER IS A LEGITIMATE PRACTICING WITCH OFC SHE CURSED WILLIAMS 😭😭

1,827 replies 1,281 reposts 7,349 likes

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siaaa @.sarrgeant • 4 Nov

Replying to @.sarrgeant

Hold up im finna find the screenshots from that video, it was hilarious

897 replies 81 reposts 1,949 likes

siaaa @.sarrgeant • 5 Nov

Here’s the screenshot from river kirkwood’s ritual that kyle and colton interrupted a few years ago

3,274 replies 5,284 reposts 10.2k likes

INSTAGRAM

Liked by logansargeant, mal.will and others

river.wood an early happy birthday to the biggest menace known to mankind, to another year of good energy and success.

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kyle_kirkwood love you too puddle, you and your craziness 🫶   

    ↳ river.wood my crazy is me funneling all the positive energy I can into your car

       ↳ kyle_kirkwood and I thank you for it

logansargeant happy birthday to the man himself, another year of surviving the puddles

    ↳ river.wood i’m going to steal joey from you

       ↳ logansargeant just come visit for a week and you’ll get all the joey time you want

          ↳ river.wood do you think you can handle me and my girls for a week

             ↳ logansargeant I handled you guys in 2019, I can do it again

wtfisakilo river kirkwood mildly terrorizing her brother and in turn the rest of the indycar grid, fork found in kitchen

    ↳ savemelogan need her to come to another race and mess with ferfuckface again

2bluelights why is logan lowkey flirting with river and what happened in 2019

    ↳ montecarsgo i bet it has something to do with kyle and road america that year

       ↳ mal.will many many candles were burnt that year

mal.will happy birthday to our favorite candle supplier and conduit 🫶 may success and joy follow you

    ↳ kyle_kirkwood you guys still worry me but i’ll keep the candles coming

    ↳ coltonherta mallory can you give me a crystal i think kyle brought something into my house

          ↳ mal.will in the mail as we speak

hertwoodftw so mallory basically confirmed that the water girls used logan’s house as a base for their rituals in 2019

    ↳ sunflower.rays correct, logan’s house was a perfect base since it was right next to the beach and had a great view of the moon 🌑🌊 we also cleansed the house afterwards 

       ↳ logansargeant best sleep i ever had in that house

📍 Location - Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Liked by coltonherta, mal.will and others

river.wood Girls are back in town, you know what that means!

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logansargeant guess I should stock up on wine and fruit

   ↳ river.wood yes you should 🫶🏻

mal.will Fort Lauderdale is not prepared

   ↳ kyle_kirkwood it never is for you guys

coltonherta don’t get arrested!

   ↳ river.wood glad you have faith in us

ellinfour water girls are back in businesssss!!

malooker MOTHER

   ↳ hertwood *mommy

      ↳ river.wood yk what i’ll take it

oscarpiastri god help florida

   ↳ river.wood quiet, koala boy. I’ll steal your girlfriend 

      ↳ oscarpiastri 🤐🤐

awaythelightsgo fits are fitting 😩

alex_albon logan’s warned me about you guys

   ↳ river.wood mhm, i’m sure

Liked by coltonherta, babykirkwoodcontent and others

river.wood The Wheel of Fortune 

Upright - Big changes may be coming, luck and timing changing with you. Upright, the wheel of fortune signifies a path out of the valley. It is an opportunity for you to grow your skills, you should embrace the challenge. Luck and fortune will not evade you forever, there is a larger cycle spinning.

.

Reversed - Instability and change go hand in hand. Remeber, constants are not true and everything can change in the blink of an eye. Do not cling to the illusion of control, or you might be crushed by the spinning of the wheel. This is something greater than you.

.

Always remember, there is a constant flux, constant movement. What goes up, must come down.

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patitooo …girl just tell us if you’re cursing someone already

   ↳ riverwoodandco please we all know who she’s talking to

mal.will change is inevitable, but do not thing you can control it

   ↳ river.wood simply prepare and learn from the experience

sunflower.rays the wheel spins, and it lands upside down. Do not cling to diminishing power ♥️

   ↳ mal.will do not force the hand of fate, what you bring is what you receive 🩵🧿

patriciooward so does this mean i just need to wait it out

   ↳ river.wood your time is coming patito, nothing lasts forever!

   ↳ sunflower.rays you’ve put nothing but good energy and hard work into the world, you will receive it ten-fold, trust

      ↳ patriciooward i’ll trust you guys, you know more than me!

logansargeant world’s always changing, right?

   ↳ river.wood always lo, always

Liked by logansargeant, sunflower.rays and others

river.wood what you put out is what you receive, karma exists as a cycle

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albonoooo girl who pissed you off 😭

   ↳ loscarting babe we ALL know who pissed her off, that’s her boy!

      ↳ 2bluelights RIP whooville, the wheel of fate has decided to crush you

logansargeant you guys keep tracking water and sand into the house

   ↳ river.wood i’ll clean it up after we finish with tonight 🤍🌕

      ↳ logansargeant i’ll hold you to that

kyle_kirkwood I take it the white and grey candles were a good choice?

   ↳ sunflower.rays yes, thank you very much kyle 🫶

f1kids rip williams you fucked with the wrong people

maxielmaxing prayers for williams mechanics

TWITTER

River & Clan✫ @.babykirkwoodcontent • 13 Nov

River Kirkwood and her girls have taken residence in Logan’s Fort Lauderdale beach house again, and reportedly a large shipment of candles and other… supplies… have made their way into the residence. It seems like Logan is aware of what’s happening, but I think he’s just letting them do their thing

1,037 replies 2,491 reposts 9,942 likes

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River & Clan✫ @.babykirkwoodcontent • 13 Nov

Replying to @.babykirkwoodcontent

Also, there’s a full moon tonight, and there’s been notes of a bonfire preparation on a Florida beach for the past few days! Looks like River and her girls are pulling from the water and the moon tonight

4,305 replies 7,263 reposts 10.6k likes

Val! @.miraclebull • 21 Nov

HELP A GROUP OF BIRDS JUST DIVEBOMBED JAMES VOWLES AND THEN HE TRIPPED GOING INTO THE WILLIAMS MOTORHOME 😭

6,036 replies 8,194 reposts 11.3k likes

Spencer’s in LV! @.glitteronthefloor • 21 Nov

just saw someone walk by with a hand made River & Clan Water Girls hoodie, somewhere James Vowels felt a shiver go down his spine

1,935 replies 3,828 reposts 8,714 likes

El @.ellasdos • 22 Nov

who cursed williams and why was it river kirkwood

264 replies 825 reposts 3,925 likes

Rosa🌹@.sargeantlogan • 22 Nov

…williams is doing too good rn for all that river did, something’s about to happen

1,935 replies 3,828 reposts 8,714 likes

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Rosa🌹@.sargeantlogan • 22 Nov

Replying to @.sargeantlogan

everyone yelling at me have clearly not seen river’s insta, she historically has had a big influence on her people, even if it’s just a placebo effect. SHE IS LITERALLY BOUT TO FUCK SOME SHIT UP

1,935 replies 3,828 reposts 8,714 likes

Lucile✫ @.2bluelights • 23 Nov

ROSA WAS RIGHT ALL YALL CAN SHUT UP

7,924 replies 8,925 reposts 11.4k likes

Dani is going to AD! @.53wheels • 1 Dec

RIVER KIRKWOOD MY QUEEN YOU DID NOT PULL ANY PUNCHES😭

2,925 replies 6,026 reposts 9,015 likes

V @.vvettel • 15 Dec

WHY DID I JUST SEE LOGAN SARGEANT, KYLE KIRKWOOD, AND WHO I THINK WERE RIVER & CLAN JUST EXIT A PLANE IN MELBOURNE'S AIRPORT??

3,925 replies 7,925 reposts 14.8k likes

INSTAGRAM

📍Location - Melbourne, Australia 

Liked by river.wood, mal.will and others

logansargeant good people, good energy, that’s home

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river.wood home is where water and energy feel pure 🌊🤍

   ↳ logansargeant 🌊🤍🩵

savemelogan I just know that bonfire food ate

   ↳ 2bluelights totally jealous fr

kyle_kirkwood how much sand is in the house

   ↳ logansargeant so much, so so much

      ↳ river.wood we’re building a sandcastle in the living room 

mal.will thank you for getting the wine logie 🫶🏻

   ↳ logansargeant trust me I drank just as much as you guys

oscarpiastri eventful night, huh?

   ↳ logansargeant you ended up in a bathtub

   ↳ river.wood it’s never a boring party when you’ve got logan

      ↳ logansargeant don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult 

nicolepiastri you’re always welcome here, logan❤️

   ↳ river.wood nicole can I stay forever 

      ↳ nicolepiastri absolutely river, you’re also always welcome

sunflower.rays australia you are a wonder of energy 💛

OPATEONE THEY SPENT CHRISTMAS IN AUSTRALIA AFTER THE SEASON WAS DONE😭😭😭

   ↳ usertsunoda THATS MY FAMILY RIGHT THERE

hattiepiastri logan i’m stealing river 

   ↳ logansargeant sorry hattie but I can’t let you do that, she’s my emotional support witch

Liked by river.wood, kyle_kirkwood and others

logansargeant in case it wasn’t clear, I love my witch girlfriend 

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hunter2 as if it wasn’t obvious 

kyle_kirkwood brother in more than one way

   ↳ logansargeant had to make it official 

mal.will the only blonde florida man I can stand

   ↳ logansargeant am I a joke to you?

      ↳ mal.will yes, actually

river.wood i love my race car driver boyfriend 🤍🩵

   ↳ logansargeant 🤍🩵

patriciooward FINALLY!

   ↳ coltonherta as if it wasn’t an open secret

      ↳ patriciooward people are blind colton

albonoooo why am I just now realizing that they’re dating

sunflower.rays such a good couple, such pristine energy 🫶🏻🤍

   ↳ logiebears sunny the ever supportive friend

oscarpiastri made for each other, you two are

   ↳ river.wood 🤍

   ↳ logansargeant 🤍🤝🏼

alex_albon such a weird but perfect match (river can I employ your services for next year)

   ↳ river.wood his soul was made for mine and vice versa (yes, we’ll visit before the new season)

A/N. 2nd SMAU done! this one’s a bit longer, learning the ropes! anyway, credits to comets for helping me work this out, as well as everyone who I've talked to about the Kirkwood Curse, it was very fun! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy! Please check out my Masterlist for any of my other works!

[nono-serves]

i’m looking back at your work and i found the one that made me follow you: shot through the heart

the great part about it is i actually do archer for fun, though i used to compete when i was younger and even won a medal. i think that’s why i liked it so much, it was just a great read!

proud to be one of the early ones 🫡

Omg my very first fic💕

I had no clue what I'm doing and just freestyled it😭

[dozyisdead]

my favorite thing to do is to explain why I, as an American, and the rest of the USA love Logan Sargeant.

Logan Sargeant is a Florida boy. doesn’t matter if he moved at the age of 12 or 14, he was born in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He loves the Florida Keys, likes fishing and golf. His brother was a NASCAR Craftsman Truck driver, he drove in the US before having to move to europe and then back to the US. Logan likes barbecue, prefers ribs and pulled pork over brisket. he’s American.

he’s also ours. that’s why we love him. It doesn’t matter where he was on the grid, in the standings. Logan is ours, and we love him for it. it’s an American thing, though i’m sure it’s really everywhere, to love a player, a team, just because they are ours. We love our men and women and everything in between, the ones who go out and represent us and our love for thrill, for competition, for the joy that sports bring. we love them.

we would love Logan the same if the was world champion or bottom of the pack, because he is ours.

[dozyisdead]

whenever i miss his voice i always come back to these videos

[dozyisdead]

they’re all laughing at me because i’m freaking out over what i realized at petit le mans. they’re laughing at me and my world view has been turned on its head.

@ashzerog19 @alex-writes-stuff @23fallencomets @everythingne

one day you will see in person what i’m saying and will realize how i feel.

[dozyisdead]

once again, ecstatic for the lando lovers with all these lando fics, BUT PLEASE I NEED SOME OTHERS!!! I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH PAPAYA

[dozyarchive]

✦ I See Us in Black and White ✦

Flowergate

   Logan freezes, eyes lazered in on the bouquet of flowers. Small white baby’s breath, white lilies tinged with blue, like they had sat in blue water, forget-me-nots, and even small aster flowers, all arranged neatly, accented by pale green leaves. They were wrapped in dark blue and black, a baby blue ribbon holding it all together, with a small tag in cream.

   “Miss Meyer-Sargeant, this was addressed to you,” the Williams employee holds the bouquet out, very clearly ignoring Logan.

   “Oh!” Lilli exclaims, gently taking the flowers. She flips the tag attached. No name, just a few words in slanted but neat hand writing. 

   “What does it say?” Alex asks, peeking at the note.

  “For a flower forever blooming,” she reads out, eyebrow raising. Alex lets out a giggly “ooh” and immediately starts messaging someone.

   “Who dropped these off?” Logan questions the staff member, eyes intense. She blinks, startled, before shaking her head.

   “I’ve got no idea. They didn’t have any team gear on, just plain clothing,” she answers, not meeting his eyes. Logan sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

   “Well, they’re gorgeous,” Lily He adds from next to his mother. Lilli nods, walking over to one of the hospitality tables and carefully sits down. 

   “Is there any chance someone could find me a vase to put these in? I’d hate for them to wilt at all,” Lilli directs the question to one of the hospitality staff. He nods quickly, scampering off to find one.

   “You’re very tense Logan,” Alex remarks, a mischievous smile on his face. Logan ignores him, whipping his phone out and shooting off a text.

   “Someone is flirting with his mom and he has no idea who, wouldn’t you be tense too?” Lily remarks, bumping her hip against Alex’s. Alex snorts, still smiling.

   “Well, for one, I don’t think anyone in this paddock has a chance besides maybe a driver or Toto Wolff. Also, they didn’t leave their name, so they’re either scared of Logan or just ridiculously confident.”

   The hospitality doors burst open, making the group turn. George is power walking in, Fred, Oscar, and Liam following.

   “I heard someone’s flirting with Lilli?” George questions, strutting over. His eyes lock onto the flowers, taking note of the quality of materials.

   “I only texted George, where did you three come from?” Alex asks, eyes flicking between the younger men.

   “I read George’s texts,” Fred offers nonchalantly. 

   “Fred texted me,” Liam adds, holding his phone up. Oscar offers nothing, moving to stand with Logan. He slots himself slightly beside him, resting his chin on the older man’s shoulder. Oscar raises an eyebrow at Alex, who sighs and nods.

   “Yeah, freaky telepathic connection, forgot about that.”

   “What does the note say?” Liam asks, walking over to the seated woman. He gives her a hug as a greeting, and she presses a soft kiss to his cheek.

   “For a flower forever blooming,” Lily giggles, a sly smile on her face. Liam’s eyes go wide, quickly whipping around to Logan and Oscar.

   Oscar now has an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, speaking to him softly. Logan’s eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s typing furiously on his phone.

   “Wow, bold,” Fred whistles. He also greets Lilli, giving her a hug.

   “Do we know who sent them? Anything?” George inquires, quickly snapping a picture of the note card, as well as of the flowers. He shoots the picture off to Charles, asking about local flower shops.

   “There’s only four shops in Monaco that use linen blend papers, but I don’t know which one this is from,” Logan states, turning his phone off and gesturing to the bouquet. George and Alex stare at him while Liam and Fred nod.

   “You should ask Charles, Arthur, or Alexandria about local shops,” Oscar offers, slouching against Logan. Logan hums, eyes still laser focused on the flowers.

   “Relax boys,” Lilli chides. “It’s a sweet action, but I’m not very interested in someone who won’t even leave me their name,” she remarks. Logan sighs, but doesn’t say anything.

   “Imagine it’s one of the drivers trying to shoot their shot,” Liam whispers loudly to Fred, and the two snicker at the frown on Logan’s face. Oscar lets out a quiet hum, rubbing his arms in a calming motion.

   “I’m going to go talk to Arthur,” Logan finally states, putting his phone away. Oscar says nothing, but peels himself off and follows Logan as he begins to walk towards the hospitality exit. Liam and Fred look at each other quickly before jumping up, following the two.

   “Don’t do anything wild,” Lilli warns the boys. Logan says nothing, but Oscar throws a thumbs up while Fred and Liam call back promises of good behavior. George and Alex simply stare at the group as they leave, watching the doors swing closed behind them.

   “Should we be worried?” George finally asks after a few moments of silence. Lilli shrugs, reaching for her bag and pulling out a paperback book.

   “Logan won’t hurt anyone, if that’s what you're worried about. He’s just very protective. Oscar will make sure he doesn’t cause too much trouble.”

   Lily giggles, also taking a seat. She snaps a few pictures of the bouquet (with Lilli in the background of course) and begins texting a few of the other girlfriends and wives in the paddock. George and Alex stand there, partly confused and partly worried, before also taking seats.

   “So, we’re just waiting this out, then?” Alex drawls, legs splayed out in front of him. Lilli hums, eyes focused on her book.

   “Never a boring race at Monaco," George mutters.

[Sky Sports Live Broadcast Ft. Crofty, Nico Rosberg, and Jenson Button Video Transcript:

Jenson: Logan! You good mate?

Logan: Jenson, hey. Sorry, I’m a bit-

Crofty: Logan, you’ve been running around the paddock for nearly 20 minutes now. Oscar, Liam, Fred, care to share?

Liam: Actually-

Logan: Oh, is this live?

Nico: Yes, we’re live right now.

Logan: Great, can I borrow this? *Logan points to Croftly’s mic. Crofty nods, a bit stunned, but hands it over*

Oscar, quietly: Here we go

Logan: I’ve got a message for whoever sent the flower bouquet to my mother earlier through Williams hospitality staff. I’m going to figure out who you are, and then we’re going to have a nice long talk. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t leave your name, there are only eight flower shops in Monaco and only four of them use that specific paper blend. 

Oscar: Alright, that’s enough for today. Let’s go guys. *Oscar take the mic and gives it back to a stunned Crofty, pulling Logan away*

Fred: Bye guys!

Liam: Bye!

*Crofty turns to Jenson and Nico, who are both open mouthed and wide eyed. They follow the group of four as they walk away, speechless.

Jenson: Did-

Crofty: My word.

Nico: Someone gave Sargeant’s mother flowers?

Jenson: Someone sent Lilli flowers!? And didn’t even leave a name?!]

   Max looks up as Checo walks over, eyes wide. “What’s happening?” he asks, sitting up straighter in his seat. 

   “Look at the driver’s chat,” the older man responds, dropping into the chair next to him. Max frowns, but does so anyway. 

   Alex is blowing up the chat, the others responding in like, making Max scroll up. He pauses once he sees a picture of a bouquet of flowers. Hands hold them up, a dark blue manicure and golden rings signifying a woman is holding them. Blues, whites, and pale greens create a stunning picture, wrapped in dark blue and black. In the next image, the wrapping is gone, and the flowers are sitting in a vase, a pale see-through baby blue. In the background, Max sees wavy brown hair and a familiar smile.

   “Someone sent Sargeant’s mother flowers!” Checo exclaims. Max says nothing, eyes focused on the look on the woman’s face.

   Lando, Carlos, Pierre, and most of the other drivers are asking question after question, Alex and George responding as best as they can.

   Max begins to type out a message when the doors fly open. Daniel and Charles burst in, speaking quickly, eyes wide.

   “Max! Did you see?” Daniel asks, plopping down in a seat. Charles doesn’t sit down, instead pacing around.

   “Logan just cornered me and Arthur in Ferrari,” Charles exclaims, hands waving in the air. “I thought I had done something to slight Ms. Lilli! I thought I was going to die by a Floridian!”

   “Oscar, Liam, and Vesti were following him around. I think Oscar was making sure he wasn’t going to kill someone,” Daniel chuckles, looking at Checo.

   “Alex came running up to us, asking Logan if it was true that someone had sent his mother flowers! He asked me about the shops here that use silk ribbons and I panicked and said I did not know!” Charles exclaims, stopping in front of the dutch man. “But I do! There’s only one shop that uses silk, it’s the one by-,” Charles is interrupted Checo and Daniel simultaneously making noises of shock.

   “Holy fuck!” Daniel exclaims, pointing towards the TV. Sky Sports is broadcasting live, Jenson, Nico, and Crofty doing commentary. In addition to the three men, four younger figures are in camera, one of them holding the mic.

   “-through Williams hospitality staff. I’m going to figure out who you are, and then we’re going to have a nice long talk. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t leave your name, there are only eight flower shops in Monaco and only four of them use that specific paper blend.”

   The four men stare in disbelief as Logan looks dead into the camera, voice low and eyes dark. A few of the Red Bull hospitality staff also stop in their tracks, shocked. The driver’s chat starts blowing up again as Logan finishes speaking, Oscar pulling him away.

   “Mon Dieu,” Charles breathes, eyes locked on to the TV. Daniel lets out a yell, whopping. He immediately starts texting someone, while Checo looks at the screen with mild horror.

   “Charles!” Arthur comes bursting through the Red Bull doors, Alex behind him. 

   “I know which shop it was,” she says. “It’s Gotham Fleurs. The one by Max’s building.”

   All eyes snap to the dutch man. Max is sitting quietly, an amused look on his face. Charles makes a gasping noise, while Daniel lets out another yell, shaking the man.

   “You mad cunt!” Daniel exclaims, eyes sparkling with excitement. “You’re the one that sent the flowers!”

   A text comes through the driver’s chat, this time from Logan:

   “If any of you know which dehydrated horsefly sent my mother flowers, tell them to meet me in front of Williams. I’m going to turn them into an origami crane and send them to god with same day shipping.”

A/N. Once again, ISU Logan is a menace. Anyway, thank you to the Logie Defenders groupchat and the Sargenation United discord server for the help with this, I think this has been one of my favorite ISU side fics to write so far!

As always, thank you or reading, I hope you enjoyed! Please check out my Masterlist for any of my other works!

2440 Words