#dp pp

[foxyteah]

ridiculous dp au of the equally ridiculous phantom planet where the ectoranium passing through earth caused all portals to close and now all those ghosts who helped are stuck in the real world wow that backfired quickly

[foxyteah]

A post-PP idea

where an astronaut crew touches down on Mars and almost dies scared shitless when Vlad fucking Masters greets them and apologizes for intruding but he’s been using the Mars base to rest and also he grew some potatoes hope they didn’t mind there’s enough oxygen for everyone tho

NASA proceeds to yell at this man about WHAT THE FUCK MAN as best as they can with their shitty message system and tell him to FUCK OFF while the crew reluctantly make themselves at home (bc they can’t just run away they just came here with a really expensive space ship and they’ve got stuff to do) also they help themselves to those really delicious potatoes bc Vlad knows some recipes ok if there’s one thing he learned from his momma it’s effing delicious potato recipes with minimal ingredients

Vlad proceeds to tell NASA they can’t make him leave, NASA replies this is their territory, Vlad proceeds to give no fucks, NASA says to fuck off or they’ll make him and Vlad asks who the fuck and where is the army to make him leave where are the space cops huh, just let him have a place to sleep and breathe oxygen he’s on fucking Mars goddammit

And so NASA makes a reluctant deal to host Vlad at their Mars base as long as he doesn’t try to sneak off back to Earth in a ship, searches for some space rocks occasionally and continues making those potato recipes he refuses to reveal the secret of and everyone profits

After a year of good behavior they start bringing him books and dvds other than the ones the crew specifically took for themselves

After five years they bring him Maddie the cat plus a stack of cat food and Vlad fucking breaks down

And then it turns out Maddie had some fun times before the journey and pops out five kittens a month later (‘we just thought she was fat’ Bob the astronaut said. ‘well you’re not wrong there’ Vlad shrugs.) and Vlad goes out into the desert of Mars to scream for an hour bc the feels are too much

At some point in the future Danny’s preparing for his first space trip to Mars and his clearance is finally high enough for the upper brass to inform him of the multinational secret of why the Mars base is thriving so well but they probably wouldn’t have told him until he was already halfway to Mars except he kept asking why they were including a calf, five chickens, nine bags of cat food, a box of spices, a bush of rosemary and a sack of strawberry seeds in their ship cargo

[foxyteah]

TumblrFrostbite: If the Disateroid was just a typical asteroid that wasn't composed of Ecto-racium and Vlad Masters was able to phase it and save Earth, what would happen afterward?

Oh man. Oh man, I think that’s obvious. A lot of bad things would happen, but I also can’t really imagine all the countries holding up their end of the deal. A piece of paper won’t guarantee Vlad’s position as ruler of Earth, not unless Desiree ensured it can’t be broken or some other magical enforcement was at work. Also Vlad would need his own army and a helluva lot of back-up plans to keep order and his position, but I’m not sure if the ghosts would help him. Maybe he had thousands of clones/experiements stowed away for this purpose, maybe he even had the Crown and the Ring and the Fright Knight somewhere just waiting to be used.

Oh man, can you imagine if some poor shmuck from DALV found one of Vlad’s old labs like decades later and accidentally released an army of clones programmed to serve Vlad, crush free will, and do everything to get him back into the ruler of Earth position? We can call it The Mummy: Ghost Edition.

Of course, this means that Jack would either die or wish he was dead, Maddie would become some glorified war trophey and Danny would have to submit to Vlad’s rule. Maybe Vlad would even experiment on Danny so he can have his desired halfa son back, not the average human version.

Most likely everyone suffers for a while, while in the background several rebel groups form and begin a guerrila war with weapons and supplies that various governments just kind of let them have alla whoops I have no idea where that rocket launcher went i would ask the only person who knows how to operate it but he retired suddenly and moved to the Bahamas yesterday and oh no Mister Masters sir he’s def not teaching the vigilantes how to operate it right now

…But I don’t like thinking about this outcome, because there’s already someone who did a fic about this, and every time I stumble upon it I mentally whimper in fright and carefully skirt around it. Not that it’s bad, because I haven’t even read it, it’s the opposite in fact. It’s Pompous Pep (okay) which is a tragedy (not okay) and deals with Vlad being insane and exerting his control as ruler of Earth within those contexts (not okay nOT OKAY). I would’ve dared to read it, but the author is the same magnificent bastard who wonderfully wrote a story about Danny being abused by Jack, which made me cry, some one-sided VladxDanny, and many other stories with pairings I never thought would work but they made it work, so you can imagine this fic in particular will probably crush my heart, chew it thoroughly and spit it out to be ran over by the feels train and pain train respectively.

But you’re welcome to check it out if you want tho, it’s Domination by The Nimrod Writer