Fucked up that you can’t get Dr Amari to help Curie if Kellogg isn’t dead.
Like my girl, I just want to help my robot friend who wants a human body and I heard you were a doctor who knows about brains. But nooooo. You ignore me.
A hypothetical god tier for Amari from Fallout: the Sylph of Mind.
A Sylph of Mind is among those who alter the individual’s impact. They are motivated by others to assist intuition. (x)
The Sylph of Mind feels useless when they can’t help others and enjoys challenges. (x)
They are the Mother Genius, defined by helping intuition. (x)
Their opposite is the Maid of Heart. Their inverse is the Prince of Heart.
They share their personality with the Mage of Space.
The Sylph of Mind would quest on a planet similar to the Land of Shine and Mind, reigned over by Athena (Goddess of Justice) or the Sphinx (the legendary creature who posed riddles to travelers). They would rise to ascension on the wings of dragonflies. (x)(x)(x)
so I'm replaying fallout 4, and a plot thing just bugged me
so I'm goin through Kellogg's memories, and get to the point where he has Shaun. In this memory, Shaun was about 10, right? And when you meet him present-day, he's 60?
The radio was playing in this memory and I heard... Travis Miles. Travis, while the wiki hasn't confirmed his age, I don't imagine can be much older than 30. Another thing that gets me is that Dr. Amari said "this seems to be a very recent memory."
so... either it was a plot point that didn't get caught, or that's not my son lol
For some reason, MacCready decided to have his big emotional conversation with me right after I got out of the memory lounger. Fine, OK. But check out the side-eye Amari shot at me afterwards. Hey Amari, don’t judge me!!
The area was now light. River looked around, examining her surroundings. It was so… unreal. She tried to find her body only to see nothing.
"Loud and clear." River replied though without a mouth to speak, her voice sounded like more of an echo that startled herself once she spoke. Also…
She sounded like Kellogg.
It nearly knocked her sick hearing that murderer's voice come out of what would've been her mouth. She decided straight away to not dare speak another syllable.
Amari's voice brought them back to the task at hand.
"Ah, good. The simulation appears to be working. I'll try to step you through any intact memories, and hope we find one that gives us some clue to the Institute's location."
River soon saw some sort of bridge appear on the ground ahead of her. She looked at it, confused, before she began to follow the path it made. It was a nauseating feeling, both being nothing but being something balancing at the same time. She didn't feel the path beneath her but she didn't feel like she would fall if she moved in the wrong direction.
As interesting as this was, she couldn't wait to get out.
Suddenly a scene appeared in front of her.
"...There. this is the earliest intact memory I can find." Amari's voice echoed.
River cautiously stepped into the memory, ready for anything.
"Remember, you are experiencing these memories as Kellogg. This may prove disorienting at first."
A young boy was sitting on a bed, a woman beside him. There was pounding and yelling coming from a door. The young boy almost seemed frightened at the sound but he was clearly trying his best to act unbothered. The woman was the opposite, seeming to fret and jump with each loud BANG.
River moved towards the woman, getting a closer look. He had a black eye and a busted lip. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together…
As River leaned closer, the voice of Kellogg boomed as the memory froze.
“Mom knew how it was. She wasn’t soft but she loved me in her way.”
So that boy was Kellogg. For a moment, River had assumed the screaming man was him.
“And she protected me from dad. That cost her more than a few beatings.”
River stepped back. In shock. The memory continued. She could already tell the husband was abusive but to protect Kellogg… She was a hell of a mother.
River heard a distant door slam shut.
The woman looked in the door’s direction before she spoke. “Listen to me, Connie. You take this. You’re old enough.”
She pulled out a gun. One that River had no trouble identifying as the one she had picked up in Fort Hagen. The child grabbed the gun, looking at it with innocence.
“You’re the man of the family now. It’s your job to protect us. Your father’s useless. But you won’t turn out like him. You’re a good boy.”
River looked down as they continued to talk. He did seem like a sweet kid. The abuse couldn’t be the reason why he turned out the way he did. And his poor mother… River couldn’t image how she’d feel if Shaun had grown up to be some sort of… monster like Kellogg.
Amari’s voice came through. "This doesn't seem to be what we're looking for." The memory seemed to freeze in place. "There appears to be another intact memory close to you in temporal sequence... there."
Another memory appeared a little further away. River tried to make it out from where she was.
"Try that one."
She looked back at the scene she was standing in. As much as she hated Kellogg, she could understand a little about how he got to being such a violent man. River thought back to how her mother would teach her about the human mind. A cycle of violence was natural. But not a sole reason. There was more.
River approached the next memory, still feeling incredibly strange as she traversed between them, and stepped inside. There, Kellogg stood, a grown man. He was cooking what looked to be so radroach meat. Beside him was a woman, doing dishes.
“It’s gonna be fine. You’ll see.”
“But we don’t know anybody here, and now with the baby…”
Wait, baby?
River turned to see a crib in the room. She cautiously approached it. Inside was a healthy looking baby. River was confused. Kellogg’s voice shone some light on the situation.
“Whatever made me think a guy like me should have a daughter… I never deserved her. Not for one second.”
This was Kellogg’s baby. She looked so peaceful… It seemed Kellogg cared about her. Where was she now? Kellogg looked younger than he did when they met. At least twenty years.
She looked around the fractured building. It was just a regular looking home. A regular family… A partner and child… and he threw it all away for what, the Institute?!
The baby started crying. River turned around, instantly wanting to take care of it.
“It’s okay, I got it.”
Kellogg walked through River to the crib. She turned to see the woman staring at Kellogg with such a loving expression. This still didn’t explain anything.
"Let's keep looking... I'll connect you to the next intact memory."
River hesitated before moving on, still perplexed. Everything seemed like it got a hell of a lot better. How did Kellogg end up being who he was?
Unfortunately, River soon got her answer. She entered the next memory. It was a very narrow corridor. Kellogg was armed to the teeth, tears in his eyes as he began to walk down, River following him. A voice blared down an intercom.
“How did you think this was going to end, Kellogg?” The voice let out a menacing chuckle. “You thought you could fuck with us, and we wouldn’t fuck with you? Just so you know - They died like dogs. And you weren’t there to help them.”
River stopped in her tracks. Kellogg quickly reloaded his weapon before kicking open a door, screaming and opening fire on whoever was on the other side.
That was it.
River stood there as the memory soon froze. His partner and child. They killed them. That woman was so full of life and the way she looked at Kellogg with such love… And the baby. Oh, God. They killed a baby.
“I’ve found another memory to try. I’ll connect you.”
Amari’s voice brought River back. She begrudgingly moved on, not even paying attention to the next memory. It didn’t have answers, it didn’t matter. The next did feature the Institute, but only an initiation. No answers in that memory either.
Eventually, River came to the next one. She didn’t pay much attention to this one either. But that soon changed when she heard some very familiar sirens. She looked up.
River walked right through them. She didn’t care about them. None of them. She looked across each pod. Her friends and neighbours all looked around, confused and scared. She eventually stopped outside Jack’s pod, facing it. He was there, looking around frantically. He was already moving around, holding Shaun against his chest.
“I’m glad I didn’t have to kill the kid. I’m not saying I haven’t done it, but I never like to. But it was better this way. Better than taking his kid and leaving him alive.”
River immediately turned to look at this memory’s version of Kellogg. What the hell was he thinking?! Killing him was better than leaving him alive?! Did the idiot not realise that’s what he put her through?!
River thought. No, he didn't believe that. If he did, he would've killed her too. That was just an excuse so that he didn't feel awful about tearing apart a family like what was done to him.
He was just as bad.
Kellogg walked towards her. For a moment, it seemed like he was staring right at River, despite her not having a form here. She would shiver if she could.
"This is the one, here." The figure, she now knew to be an Institute scientist, declared.
River backed up, knowing fully well what was about to happen. She couldn't see it again. But she couldn't help but watch as the pod opened. Jack coughed and sputtered as he shielded Shaun from the cold.
River stood, terrified. The same scene playing out again.
"I'm not letting you take Shaun!"
River finally came up with the strength to turn away just in time to hear the loud BANG of the gun. She knew she couldn’t do anything but it still… hurt. She looked up, meeting eyes with a screaming woman in the opposite pod. Herself. She approached the pod and stared through the glass. The memory of herself pounded on the glass, River hadn't even realised her hands were bleeding slightly from scratching them against the ice. She remembered wondering where the pain came from after she went back to Sanctuary.
Kellogg's echoey voice then spoke with a tone of hatred and regret.
"I knew it was a mistake keeping her alive."
God. Damn. Right.
"I understood that kind of revenge, no one better. But I was cocky enough to assume I could handle some pre war Vault dweller, even if she somehow thawed out."
River would've cringed if she could. That bastard thought she was weak. Well now he was dead and she wasn't.
"At least I know those Institute bastards will soon get what’s coming to them, too. If she could take me out, they won’t be able to hide from her for long..."
Amari sighed, guilt clearly present in her voice as the memory froze. "I'm uh... I'm sorry you had to go through that again. I've found another intact memory. Whenever you're ready."
River made her way to the next memory. She was only a few feet away when Amari spoke once more.
"Is that... your son?"
River looked ahead, barely making out a figure sitting on the floor. She moved as quickly as possible, practically diving into this new memory.
"This appears to be a very recent memory, so... good news... I think."
River watched the child. He sat there, a smile on his face, a prominent single dimple appearing. He flicked through a comic, River instantly recognising to be of the Silver Shroud. She lowered herself to the child's face, trying to get a closer look at him. He had platinum blonde hair with Amber eyes, much like River. Face wise, he looked almost exactly like Jack did when he was a child. He even had a faint scar on his forehead, starting from above his ear to above his eyebrow.
It was him.
It was Shaun.
"It was one of the old man's pet projects." River heard a voice echo.
She looked up to see Kellogg sitting down in a chair, watching Shaun with a smile.
River couldn't believe it. The Institute was using him as some sick science fair project!? He was a human being for God's sake; a child!
"Me and the kid, like a happy little family. I ended up kind of liking it. A reminder of what my life might have been if things had turned out differently.”
How dare he. How dare he act like he’s Shaun’s father.
River turned her attention back to Shaun. He looked healthy. This was definitely the boy Ellie had mentioned being with Kellogg. He looked around ten years old, matching the description. So River didn't immediately thaw out like she thought. It took ten years.
She had missed so much of his life…
The door opening alerted River as she and Shaun turned around. A man wearing a long, black, leather coat with dark sunglasses entered with Kellogg immediately aimed his gun. Upon recognising the figure, he holstered his weapon.
“Kellogg.” The mysterious figure spoke.
Shaun backed up a little, looking at Kellogg to which the man held out his arm, settling the boy down.
“It’s okay.” He softly said. He returned to his cold demeanor as he glared at the figure. “One of these days you’re going to get your head blown off, just barging in here like that.”
River moved towards the figure, looking him up and down. He was so clean and his clothes were nothing less than pristine.
Kellogg’s voice was ‘kind’ enough to tell her more. “The new breed of synths could easily pass as human. Some of them did. But the Coursers - they weren’t built to blend in. They were killing machines, pure and simple.”
River backed up as the figure walked past. A Courser? She’d have to ask Nick more about them.
The Courser approached Kellogg. Shaun stared in confusion. “New orders for you. One of our scientists has left the Institute.”
“Left as in…?”
“He’s gone rogue.” The Courser spoke plainly. “Name’s Doctor Brian Virgil. We know he’s hiding somewhere in the glowing sea. Here’s his file.”
The Courser pulled a file from his coat, handing it to Kellogg who opened it with intrigue.
“Capture and return or just elimination?” He asked, skimming the page for important information.
“Elimination.”
River looked back to Shaun. The two men were talking about hunting down and killing a man. But he sat there, continuing to read his comic with an innocent expression.
“So… I guess you’re taking the kid back with you.”
Kellogg’s voice alerted River. She turned around to look at the two men. The Courser nodded.
“Affirmative. Your only mission is to locate and eliminate Virgil.”
No… they couldn’t take him away!
"So... you're taking me back to Father?" Shaun spoke, looking at Courser.
River froze. ‘Father’? Who dared pose as his father while Jack was…
“Yes. Stand next to me and hold still.” The Courser simply replied.
“Okay!” Shaun gleefully said, practically jumping to his feet. He ran to Kellogg, hugging the man.
“Bye, Mr Kellogg! I hope I’ll see you again soon!”
“Um… bye.”
Kellogg stood there in disbelief, as did River. She wanted to do something, anything to get him away. He didn’t know what that monster had done!
Shaun then ran to the Courser, beaming up at him. He could hardly contain his excitement.
“X6-88, ready to relay with Shaun.”
There was a moment of silence before electricity sparked violently twice, first taking the Courser, then taking Shaun. River tried desperately to touch the electricity but her efforts were futile.
They were gone.
The memory faded and Amari spoke for the final time.
"Teleportation. Now it all makes sense. Nobody's found the entrance to the Institute because there IS no entrance. Let me pull you out of there. As soon as you're ready..."
River heard the loud, screeching sound of static and she turned around, seeing the television blaring with an error message. She slowly walked towards the television, about to touch it… before blacking out again.
River's eyes snapped open. She gasped for breath, quickly climbing out of the lounger, wanting nothing more than to go. Amari grabbed her arms, trying to stop her.
"Slow movements, okay? I don't know what kind of side effects the procedure might have had. No one's ever... done this before."After seeing River calm down a little, Amari slowly let go of her. She helped River out of the pod before examining her for any sign of damage. "How do you feel?"
River groaned in pain, putting a hand on her head. "I have this... burning feeling inside my skull. It's like it's on fire."
"I injected you with a large stimpak as I was pulling you out. That should ease things for now." Amari stated.
"So it's going to feel worse?" River asked, cringing.
"I'm sure it isn't a long term side effect." Amari tried to assure her. She pointed her finger towards River. "Follow my finger."
River did as she was asked, having only minor trouble with the dizziness from the extraction.
"What is your name? Spell it please."
"R. I. V. E. R M. C. C. O. N. N. E. L. L." She slowly yet clearly responded.
Amari nodded slowly. "It seems like you're still functioning in the brain."
"I feel fine." River told her. "There's more important things to think about. We know how the Institute get around."
Amari smiled, triumphant. "Yes! Their greatest secret has finally been revealed... But that only leads to more questions.” She held her chin in one hand as she contemplated. “How does it work? Where do we go next?"
River thought for a moment before an idea came into her head. "That scientist Kellogg was supposed to track down! Virgil... We need to find him."
Amari snapped her fingers. "You're right! A rogue Institute scientist could answer all kinds of questions. Where did the memory say he was?"
"The… Glowing Sea?" River said, thinking back on what she heard.
Amari stared, wide eyed. "The Glowing Sea?" After receiving a nod, Amari looked away, puzzled. “That doesn't make sense... No one goes there. Not even if they were desperate." She explained.
"If we need to find Virgil, then I'm going after him." River said, determined.
"If you're going to go, be prepared. You'll need some way to combat the radiation there. It's called the Glowing Sea for a reason." Amari raised an eyebrow.
River gulped. That wasn't good at all. She flashed a smile. "I'll find a way to get through the rads. Don't worry."
"Good luck, and... be safe." She turned back to her desk, examining the cybernetics from Kellogg.
River turned to the pod Nick was previously sat in, seeing it empty. She turned to Doctor Amari who seemed to know what her question would be.
"I unplugged Mister Valentine first. Removed the implant while you were waking up. He's waiting for you upstairs." She said, not looking away.
River smiled, appreciative. "Thank you."
She walked up the stairs, passing Irma on the way who gave her a warm smile and a wave. As River reached the top, thoughts flooded into her mind. About Kellogg. He had been through a lot. His wife and his child…
River sighed. She couldn't feel guilt for him, no matter how much her heart told her too. The same thing happened to her and she didn't murder people in cold blood. She wanted to help people, just as she had always wanted.
She chose her path and Kellogg chose his.
River brought herself out of thought as she walked into the next room, seeing Nick sat on a bench on the opposite side of the room. His head was bowed slightly as he mumbled to himself.
River walked towards him, smiling. "I know I've said this about a thousand times but I really appreciate all you've done for me. You've been-"
"Hope you got what you were looking for inside my head."
That voice.
River's eyes widened as Nick looked up at her. It was his face but his whole expression was one River had never seen on Nick. It was unnatural. It was… It was that same wise ass grin Kellogg had when they spoke.
"Heh. I was right. Should've killed you when you were on ice."
That... was Kellogg's voice.
River didn't think. She drew her pistol, aiming it at the… The monster in front of her. “Stay the hell away from me!”
She was so stricken with fear, she didn't realise the man in front of her was back. Nick,!'s eyes snapped open wide as he pressed his back against the wall. He held up his hands in defense, his eyes widening. “River?! What the hell are you doing?!”
River shook. Nick's voice brought her back to reality. She let go of the gun, letting it fall to the floor. Her legs shook as she felt like she would follow suit.
“I’m… I'm so- sorry. I heard him. I thought he was going to kill me…” She tried to explain, sinking to her knees. She couldn't believe it. She could've shot Nick.
Nick gave her a confused look. "What? What are you talking about?" He knelt down in front of River and gently held her arms.
River didn't say anything.
“River, you just pulled a gun on me. What happened?” Nick demanded.
River’s lip quivered slightly. “I heard Kellogg. I thought he was back...” She admitted, looking down. “I thought he was going to…”
Nick was taken back by River’s words. He... sounded like Kellogg? But… why couldn't he remember it then? Nick looked down at River. She was trembling in fear. Nick slowly lifted River’s chin. He narrowed his eyes, giving River a stern but also gentle look.
“Listen. It’s probably just a glitch in my system. Old memories of him playing random sound clips. Kellogg won’t hurt you ever again. I promise. The bastard is dead and he will stay dead. Trust me.”
River took a deep breath. She wiped her face before nodding her head, a determined expression on her face.
"Let's get out of here."
“So what's the plan?” Nick asked. As he closed the door to the Memory Den behind him.
River recounted the plan in her head. “Well, we have to go into the Glowing Sea to look for that scientist, Virgil. Apparently, it's full of radiation so I'll have to buy some rad-away.”
Nick let out a small chuckle as they walked. “You're gonna need a lot more than rad-away. Do you know why the Glowing Sea is full of radiation?” After River shook her head, Nick continued. “It's where the bomb dropped.”
“Oh.”
“Oh exactly.” Nick thought for a moment. “Maybe a suit of power armor would be the best thing but that will be hard to get. Only people who have those are the Brotherhood of Steel and I doubt that they’ll be willing to lend a hand...” Nick muttered with a roll of his eyes.
“Wait. Power armor?" River asked. She smiled. "I have a suit back in at home.”
Nick raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “You do?”
“Long story. I'll tell you about it on the way.”
The two made their way to the entrance of Goodneighbor when a voice stopped them.
“Hold on- It's you!”
River and Nick both turned around to try and find the voice. They saw a ghoul dressed in a dirty yellow trenchcoat and fedora run up to them.
“After all these years... How is this possible?!” The confused ghoul asked, now standing right in front of the pair.
Nick stepped slightly in front of River. River squinted at the ghoul. Something seemed familiar…
That trench coat…
Her eyes widened with realisation as she approached the man.
“Hold on... aren't you from Vault Tec?”
“I AM Vault Tec!" The ghoul frowned. "And I wasn't even on the list!" He then looked down, upset. "Now look at me... But you." He gestured to the woman in pure disbelief. "Two hundred years and you're still perfect! How!?”
River couldn't help but feel guilty. She remembered as he was stopped at the gate, threatened with death as he was forced to run away. He lived all those years as a ghoul… While she got to skip the hard part.
He at least had a right to know what was in the Vault.
“Everyone in the vault was frozen. I thawed out a few weeks ago.”
“Vault Tec never told me that!” The man's eyes were wide and full of anger. He threw his hands up in the air in disbelief. “Unbelievable!” He then gestured to himself. “I had to get to the future the hard way... look at me! I'm a ghoul... a freak!”
“I'm so sorry.” River looked down.
The ghoul calmed down. He adjusted his hat. “You know... you're the only person I've seen from... before…” He couldn't help but let the tears emerge. “Oh God, I've been so alone! No Commonwealth settlement wants a ghoul with 200 years of Vault Tec sales experience!”
River scoffed. "What? You're a pre war, educated salesman who probably knows all there is to selling goods."
"Exactly!"
River thought. "Well…" It wasn't a hard decision. “You can come to Sanctuary. It's not much right now but me and a group of other people are trying to make it a decent place to live. You can stay there if you'd like. You'd be welcome.”
The ghoul's eyes lit up, full of hope. “Really? You'll let me stay?”
“Of course!” River gave him a warm smile. “Don't worry, there's a lot of people there so you won't be lonely. And I still live there so we can talk about anything pre war.”
“Oh thank you! Thank you!” The ghoul shook her hand frantically.
“I guess we should properly introduce ourselves then." River chuckled as she held out a hand. "I'm River McConnell.”
“H...Harvey. Harvey Anderson.” The ghoul smiled. “I want to grab my things and say goodbye to everyone first. I know the way so I'll meet you there.”
River nodded. “Okay. I'll see you there, Harvey.”
Harvey began to run off. He waved at River and Nick before yelling a 'goodbye'.
Nick and River walked outside of Goodneighbor. Nick turned to River and smiled.
“Why did you do that?” He wasn't against her decision, of course, but to give someone who was basically a stranger to her a home… That sort of kindness was rare in the world.
River let out a small sigh as she looked at her pip boy, trying to plan a route back to Sanctuary. “It's the least I could do. He practically saved my life." River looked to Nick who was clearly wanting more information. River continued. "On the day that the bombs fell, he came to my door and I filled out some paperwork. He's the reason why I managed to get to the vault in time. He's the reason why I'm here now.”
