so... something unfortunate has been developing recently in the whole dysphoria department. And by that I mean that I have for some reason become uncomfortably aware of my binder. It never bothered me much before, but lately its all i can do to ignore it; the uneven way it compresses my chest, the rub of every single edge - under armpits, across shoulders, the hem of a half binder - across my skin, the way that breathing makes it all worse somehow because thats just how binders work. Its becoming unbearable, and I’m not sure what to do about it because its not like I can just not wear it to work, and I can't wear bras anymore either for similar reasons.
I’m still banking on top surgery because thats looking to be my only option at his point, but I only have a few thousand saved up, and I feel like I talk a big game, but I don't even know where to start. I know who I want, but I’m not even sure where to begin because Garramone needs doctors notes or whatever and I just don't have those, I don't know where to look for a therapist I trust, and my mom isn't any help so I’m on my own, and I’m frustrated, and scared, and really lost and I wish I had someone who could guide me through it all, ya know? Because this whole thing with my binder now is putting me all sorts of on edge, like somehow I have a time limit or something, and if I can't figure this out soon I’ll have missed my chance and will be stuck like this for the rest of my life.
