Mar 20, 2015
In which statements about my life could be confused as Lana Del Rey song titles
I’m knitting him a sweater
There was ice cream melting in the back seat of my jeep
It’s too cold for tank tops
This cinnamon bun is too precious
Bless these skinny jeans
Mossy log; in swamp: Florida
Anxiety attack by the greek yogurt aisle
Junkyard Space Lesbians
Did you check the armoire?
George Tropicana is a hottie
Our toaster door is askew
Waggawahwaga
Who made you daddy longlegs?
Leave the baby
Sweet baby beets
Her scrunchie game is strong
Vampire Laws, bro.
