Look at Me (Happy Belated Birthday Togami!)
Hey, you guys! It’s kawaiikichi with a belated birthday one-shot for the one and only Byakuya Togami! I was supposed to have this up for his birthday, but in the end, it never happened. But I figured that since we’re still in his birthday month, it should still count, right? XD
So, a few months ago, I finally got my friend to start playing the first Danganronpa game. Just listening to her telling me her thoughts about it (characters that she likes, characters she doesn’t like, ships that she’s leaning towards, etc) made me think back on some of my old OTPs that I haven’t written for in a while. One of those is Naegami (which is coincidentally a ship that she’s starting to ship; I’m so proud of her for being an intellectual XD).
I decided to return to some of my older works that I wrote when I was still active on Fanfiction Amino, polish them a bit, and then upload them here. This one in particular is me combining two separate one-shots into one with a lot of editing and additional scenes.
So, I hope you guys like it! :)
(And happy belated birthday, Togami!)
Title: Look at Me
Summary: Makoto has had a crush on Byakuya from the moment their eyes met. However, with how Byakuya treats him, Makoto’s crush is unrequited and he finds himself getting more and more hurt by his words. But, is that really all there is to it?
One-Shot Notes: Basically a mashup of two of my Naegami one-shots that I had uploaded on Fanfiction Amino with some additional scenes and a whole lot of editing; an AU where they all choose to cohabit with one another rather than participate in the killing game; due to the fact that I haven’t written Naegami in forever and I’m going off of what I remember about their ship dynamic and what not, they might be OOC, so I’m just warning you all ahead of time
One-shot is under the cut!
Makoto was busy putting some books back in their appropriate spots on the bookshelf when a voice called out to him.
"Oi, go get me some coffee."
He nearly jolted at the voice. He turned to look at Byakuya, who peered at him over the book he was reading.
"Huh?" Makoto answered.
"I said to go get me some coffee." Byakuya stated.
"Ah! I...I'll get that right away!" Makoto stammered out before rushing out of the library and making his way down the stairs to the cafeteria.
He went into the kitchen, picked out a mug, and he began to brew some coffee for Byakuya.
As he started up the coffee maker, a voice called out to him.
"Naegi-kun?"
Makoto turned at the voice, seeing Kyouko enter the kitchen.
"Ah! Kirigiri-san!" he exclaimed.
"What are you doing here? You should be helping us out with searching the school." she stated.
"Ah. Well...Togami-kun told me to come and brew him some coffee..." he trailed off.
Kyouko breathed out a deep sigh.
"You need to stop wasting your time on him. He's not worth it." she said.
"But..." Makoto scratched lightly at his chin. "I love him..." he murmured quietly, his cheeks taking on a rosy pink color.
Ever since he had first locked eyes on Byakuya, Makoto had felt some sort of attraction to him. He was totally in love with him.
But, he knew that Byakuya could never feel that way towards him. He would never see him as Makoto Naegi. To Byakuya Togami, Makoto Naegi was nothing more than a mere errand boy. That was it.
Even if that was so, Makoto still loved him. He couldn't ever bring himself to forget or let go of his love for him. So, he continued to quietly love him, even though it hurt so much.
His thoughts were cut off by an exasperated sigh.
"Well, go ahead and ruin yourself." Kyouko went over and got an apple from the fridge. "Don't say I didn't warn you." she said before marching off.
Makoto breathed out a sigh as he finished brewing Byakuya’s coffee. He turned the coffee maker off and he began making his way back up to the library.
As he walked down the hallway on the second floor, he heard a voice.
"Oi, stop bothering me!"
"Eh?! But, Byakuya-sama...!"
Makoto stopped in his tracks, recognizing those two voices immediately. Touko was pestering Byakuya once again.
It was always like that. Byakuya seemed to be more talkative when it came to her. It almost made Makoto jealous (even though all the blond would say to her was to leave him alone).
He found it in him to walk again and he made his way into the library to see Byakuya trying to concentrate on reading his book and Touko gazing at him with a love struck look in her eyes. Makoto bit his lip as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Uh...Togami-kun..." he trailed off.
Byakuya looked up from his book, glowering at Makoto.
"What?" he responded coldly.
"Um..." Makoto swallowed as he held the coffee cup up. "Coffee?" he spoke nervously.
"Ah, bring that over to me." Byakuya said, ushering Makoto to come closer.
Makoto nodded slowly as he walked over to Byakuya. The blond took the mug from him, their fingers brushing together ever so slightly. Makoto immediately let go, yanking his hand away like he had been scorched by fire. Byakuya didn’t seem to notice how flustered Makoto looked as he snapped the book he was reading shut, offering it to Makoto.
"Get me another book. This one is boring me." Byakuya said.
"Okay..." Makoto trailed off as he took the book and headed off to put it back.
As he went into an aisle, he heard Byakuya snapping at Touko and telling her to go away. He sighed as he put the book back and he pulled out another one. He ran his hand along the cover, a sad sigh escaping his lips. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice how the the library went silent or heard the footsteps making their way over to him.
"When will he just look at me...?" he mumbled out.
"What are you mumbling about over there?" a hand was placed by his head on the bookshelf, making Makoto gasp as he whirled around.
"T-Togami-kun!" he stuttered out.
Byakuya’s eyebrows were knitted, a scowl on his face as he stared at Makoto.
“Does it really take that long to bring me a book?” he asked.
“I...” Makoto could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears. “I’m sorry...I was lost in thought...” he trailed off.
Byakuya sighed.
“As expected of a plebeian.” he commented.
Makoto stayed silent as Byakuya continued.
"Whatever. Back to the matter at hand." Byakuya leaned in towards Makoto. "Tell me, what exactly were you mumbling about?" he asked.
Makoto swallowed as he stared at Byakuya, the pounding in his ears getting louder. The blond’s piercing steel blue gaze gave him goosebumps and the thick scent of his cologne hanging over him made his head spin. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he began to think.
Should I really say what’s on my mind, he asked himself.
“Do you really intend on continuing to waste my time?” Byakuya’s words pulled Makoto out of his thoughts.
“Ah! I...I’m really sorry!” Makoto apologized.
“Geez, you have no sense of urgency.” Byakuya snatched the book out of Makoto’s hand. “If you don’t plan on telling me, then I’ll go back and start reading this.” he said as he turned to leave.
Makoto’s eyes widened as he watched Byakuya begin to walk off. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and grabbed for Byakuya’s coat sleeve.
“Wait.” he called out, his voice small and meek.
He expected Byakuya to shake him off and continue on his way, but surprisingly enough, he did no such thing. He slowly turned, watching Makoto expectantly.
Makoto swallowed once more.
It was now or never.
"Why...Why won't you look at me?" he asked after a few moments of silence.
"Hm?" Byakuya eyed Makoto like he just said something stupid. "Aren't I already doing that?" he asked.
Makoto’s eyes grew wide as he stared at him. He wanted to say something more, but the words refused to be spoken. It was like someone stuffed his throat with cotton.
"Now," Byakuya yanked his arm away, "if you’re done rambling about nonsensical things, I’ll resume my reading session and you can go do something else." he said before pulling away and walking off.
Makoto’s cheeks turned a beet red as he slammed a fist against his mouth.
You know exactly what I mean, Togami-kun. I want you to look at me for me, not as your errand boy, he thought to himself.
And for the first time ever since they had gotten locked up at Hope's Peak Academy, he began to cry.
📚🍀📚🍀
Kyouko shot Makoto a blank look as she stirred some creamer into her coffee.
“I warned you.” she stated bluntly.
“I know you warned me.” Makoto groaned out as he slumped over the table in the cafeteria.
Kyouko took a sip of her coffee as she observed Makoto, noting the dark circles under his eyes, the dried tear marks on his cheeks, and the red tinge of his eyes.
“Did you happen to get any sleep these past couple of days?” she asked.
“Of course I did! Sleep is important, after all.” he replied.
Kyouko narrowed her eyes at him skeptically. They continued to stare at each other before Makoto released a sigh.
“Okay, you got me.” he said.
“Damn right, I did.” Kyouko took another sip. “Like I said, he’s not worth your time. If he’s going to continue to treat you like this, then I suggest you move and find someone who will treat you nicer.” she stated.
“But, who would that even be? There’s no one here that interests me like he does.” Makoto stated.
“Then, just stay single for the rest of the time you’re here, I don’t know. What I do know is that you can’t keep hurting yourself like this.” she stated, pointing a finger at him.
Makoto bit his lip.
“I guess so...” he trailed off.
Kyouko took another sip from her coffee.
“If I recall correctly, you already wrote a love confession to him, haven’t you?” she asked.
“Huh? Oh, that.” Makoto scratched the back of his head. “I should probably get rid of that, huh?” he mumbled.
“You should.” Kyouko replied.
“Yeah, you’re right...maybe instead of a love confession, I should leave behind a note saying that I’m going to get over him.” Makoto said.
He stood from his seat.
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. He won’t read it anyway, so it’ll just be my little secret.” he said.
He turned to leave.
“I need to go and write it. I’ll see you later, Kirigiri-san!” he shouted over his shoulder as he rushed out of the cafeteria.
“Yeah.” Kyouko replied as he left the cafeteria.
She released a sigh as she finished off her coffee, recalling the past couple of nights she listened to him crying through his slightly ajar bedroom door as she was heading to her room for the night.
“This is for the best.” she rested her cup on the table. “This way, he won’t get hurt anymore.” she spoke quietly.
📚🍀📚🍀
Byakuya sat at his usual table in the library, flipping through yet another book.
He tried to focus on what he was reading, but his mind kept drifting.
He found himself thinking about a certain lucky student.
Two days have passed since they last spoke. Makoto had been distant as of late, which was pretty unusual. Every time he tried calling him over to do something for him, the lucky student would either be preoccupied with some of the other students or he’d avert his gaze and rush off to do god knows what.
If Byakuya was being honest, it was starting to irritate him.
He didn’t know when it began, but he felt some sort of pull towards him. There was something about Makoto that intrigued him, although he couldn’t quite place what that something was.
At some point, he assumed that what he felt towards Makoto was love, but he immediately shooed that thought away.
Him? In love?
What a joke.
He released an irritated sigh, snapping the book shut as he looked to see Touko staring at him.
“Would it kill you to leave me alone for a day?” he barked out.
“But Byakuya-sama, I couldn’t possibly do that!” Touko exclaimed.
“I want to read in peace, so leave me alone.” he stated.
“I wish to be useful to you though, Byakuya-sama! I’ll do whatever it is you ask!”
“You want to be useful to me? Then, curl up and die. Stop harassing me and let me be by myself.”
With that, Byakuya stood and headed off to put the book back.
“Byakuya-sama...!” Touko called out.
Byakuya chose to ignore her as he ventured further into the library. As he put the book back in its appropriate spot, he recalled what happened between him and Makoto.
📚🍀📚🍀
"Why...Why won't you look at me?" Makoto asked after a few moments of silence.
"Hm?" Byakuya eyed Makoto like he just said something stupid.
What is this idiot going on about, of course I’m looking at him. He may not realize it, but I don’t really see him as much of a pleb anymore, he thought to himself.
"Aren't I already doing that?" he asked.
Makoto’s eyes grew wide as he stared at him. He looked as if he wanted to say something more, but he didn’t. Byakuya peered at him, trying to decipher what was going on in his mind.
Was it a look of surprise? Or was it one of disappointment?
Just the fact that someone as simple as Makoto was so hard to read was just so damn annoying.
He decided not to dwell on the thought any longer.
"Now," Byakuya yanked his arm away, "if you’re done rambling about nonsensical things, I’ll resume my reading session and you can go do something else." he said before pulling away and walking off.
He turned into the other aisle and leaned against it as he heard Makoto sobbing.
📚🍀📚🍀
Byakuya bit his lip as Makoto’s sobs replayed in his mind.
He knew that his words came off as cold and very harsh. But, he was also very straightforward when he needed to be.
He thought that he was doing exactly that when he told Makoto that. He thought that Makoto would pick up on what he meant. But, it seems that it had the opposite effect.
He found himself biting his lip.
The last thing he wanted to do was make Makoto cry.
I thought he knew what I was trying to get at. I guess my words came off tougher than I thought, he thought to himself.
He let out an annoyed ‘tch’.
“Dammit.”
📚🍀📚🍀
Makoto listened to everyone converse with each other as they all stood in the gym.
They were all woken up by the usual morning announcement along with the monochromatic bear demanding them to all meet up in the gym after breakfast or else they would all face some sort of “punishment.”
“Hey, Naegi-kun...what do you think Monobear wants from us this time?” Aoi asked.
“I have no idea.” Makoto replied as Mondo let out a loud shout.
“Hurry up and get out here, you little shit! I’ll slug ya if you keep stalling!” he roared angrily, cracking his knuckles as he glowered at the empty podium.
“Now, now, take a chill pill! I hope you haven’t forgotten about what will happen to you if you use violence on the headmaster!” Monobear shouted as it jumped onto the podium.
“Eeeeeeeek, it’s back!” Yasuhiro shrieked.
“Oh hush it, Bob Marley wannabe!” Monobear snapped.
Yasuhiro could only gape at the bear in shock as Monobear cleared its throat.
“Now then, I have a very important announcement to make: it’s one of you bastard’s birthday today!” it shouted.
“It is?!” Sayaka exclaimed in surprise.
“Indeed, indeed! Today is Mister Byakuya Togami’s birthday!” Monobear declared, gesturing to the uninterested blond sitting on the bleachers.
“It’s Byakuya-sama’s birthday today?!” Touko exclaimed.
She began giggling excitedly as Byakuya released an annoyed sigh.
“I never said that you could announce my birthday to the whole world.” he bit out.
“Oh, relax! Having your fellow classmates know your birthday isn’t gonna kill ya!” Monobear said.
“Hold up a minute, just how in the world do you know his birthday and that it’s today?!” Aoi asked.
“Well duh, his birthday is listed in the student report section of your handbooks. And also, we have something called a calendar!” Monobear snapped, eyeing the students in annoyance.
“For real...?” Yasuhiro grumbled as he pulled out his handbook and began to flip through it.
Kyouko released a sigh.
“So? What’s the real reason for you to be calling us here?” she asked.
Makoto eyed Kyouko in confusion.
“The real reason...?” he wondered out loud as Monobear cleared its throat again.
“Okay, you got me. Actually, I have something to share with you all, particularly Mister Togami.” Monobear began.
“For me?” Byakuya questioned, eyeing the bear quizzically.
“Upupu, indeed.” Monobear’s eyes glowed mischievously. “You see, I was strolling through the library, minding my own goddamn business. I picked up a book, started flipping through it, and came across an envelope that was addressed to Togami.” it said.
Immediately, Makoto went pale. Kyouko eyed the lucky student out of the corner of her eye.
“Is he referring to what I think he’s referring to?” she whispered.
“I think so...” Makoto murmured out as Monobear cackled.
“I want to say who it’s from, but I think it would be even more thrilling for you to go check it out yourself~” Monobear singsonged.
Byakuya glowered at the bear.
“Don’t be ridiculous—“
“I’m sorry, I need to step out real quick!” Makoto shouted as he whirled around on his heel and made a dash for the door.
“Huh?! Just where does that little shit think he’s going?!” Mondo roared.
“Naegi-kun! Where are you going?!” Aoi shouted.
“Huh?! How dare he leave while I’m still talking!” Monobear stomped its foot. “That blasted lucky student!” it exclaimed.
As Makoto pushed the gym door open, he failed to see the look that spread itself across Byakuya’s face as he stumbled out and raced in the direction of the library.
📚🍀📚🍀
Makoto felt faint as he stumbled into the library.
He couldn’t believe this was happening to him.
“I have to get that letter...I can’t have Togami-kun read it!” he said to himself.
He began searching through each and every book in the library, hoping that he would come across the letter at some point.
A few minutes passed before he stopped flipping through a geometry textbook.
Wait...why am I trying so hard to retrieve a letter that says that I am going to get over him, he asked himself.
“Why am I...?” he muttered under his breath.
It’s not like it’s a love confession, so why am I panicking, he wondered to himself.
He briefly thought of putting the book back and heading out of the library like he didn’t just try to turn the library upside down for a measly letter, but he decided against it.
No, I can’t! I have to retrieve it, no matter what, he told himself.
He put the textbook back and he continued his search. He eventually found himself in the comic book section.
As he flipped through a comic book involving cyborgs, he heard a voice call out to him from behind.
"Looking for something?"
Makoto whirled around to see Byakuya holding an eerily familiar white envelope that had the blond’s name written in the center of it.
Makoto’s eyes grew wide.
That’s the letter, he thought to himself.
A look of horror spread across Makoto’s face as he spoke.
"That letter...” he trailed off.
“You know, I wasn’t going to pay this letter any mind, but as soon as that bear brought it up, you grew pale and dashed out of the gym. It intrigued me, so I decided to follow after you and find it myself. Turns out this was stuck in between the pages of a romance novel.” Byakuya explained.
Makoto grew even paler as Byakuya looked at the envelope.
“Just as I figured...this is a letter you wrote for me...” he murmured.
Fear bubbled up from within the lucky student as he spoke.
“That letter...I need it, so please give it to me...” he said as he tried to snatch it out of his hand.
However, Byakuya rose it above his head. This made Makoto frustrated.
"Please, give it to me, Togami-kun!” Makoto pleaded as he tried to grab for it.
However, he failed. Byakuya eyed Makoto curiously.
"This letter is addressed to me, though. I don’t see why I should give it to you.” Byakuya stated.
"Do I really need to tell you why you should give it to me?” Makoto asked.
"Well, seeing as you’re making such a fuss about it, then you might as well enlighten me." Byakuya replied.
Makoto thought about it for a split second before furiously shaking his head.
"I can’t do that, so please just give it to me!" he shouted as he tried grabbing for it once again. But, that just made the blond raise it higher.
"If you really want it, then you’re going to have to jump for it.” he said.
Makoto huffed our a frustrated sigh as he jumped for it. As his fingers grazed the envelope, Byakuya pulled it away and whirled around.
"You know, you've gotten me very curious. Seeing as you’re trying so hard to make sure I don’t open this envelope, it must either be very important or downright embarrassing." he proceeded to open the envelope. “Let’s find out, shall we?” he asked.
Makoto’s eyes widened in horror as he watched the envelope being opened.
"No!" Makoto tried to grab for it once more. “Please, give it back!" he begged.
"No." Byakuya replied as he took the letter out and he began to read it.
Togami-kun,
I highly doubt you’ll actually find this letter, but if you somehow do, then I would appreciate it if you could read it in its entirety.
So, I honestly don’t know how I should start with this, but I feel like I should state the obvious: I loved you. Even though you’re cold and rude and have a horrible personality, I still liked you. I figured I could live with this unrequited crush on you, but as the days passed, it grew harder for me. Then, when I asked you why you wouldn’t look at me and you said that you found my question stupid because you already were made me finally realize that if I continued to love you, I would get hurt in the end. You never looked at me as more than your errand boy. And the more that I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize that you’ll never see me that way ever.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I’m going to get over you, Togami-kun. I’ll get rid of my feelings for you and start over. It’ll be hard at first, but in the end, I think that this is for the best.
Togami-kun, please don’t be disgusted by these feelings that I used to harbor for you. As of now, they don’t exist anymore, so you have nothing to worry about. I’ll just go my way, you can go yours, and I’ll just forget that I even felt this way towards you.
I hope you are able to understand.
From,
Makoto Naegi
Byakuya scanned the letter with an unreadable look in his eyes. Makoto swallowed, his heart pounding against his rib cage. His palms grew clammy with sweat as he bit down hard on his bottom lip.
Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to have the ground swallow him whole.
He lowered his gaze to the floor as Byakuya spoke.
"What do you mean when you said that you loved me?" he asked.
Makoto flinched at the tone of Byakuya’s voice.
"Uh...” Makoto swallowed again. “Well...I think it’s exactly what it means. I did love you before.” he replied in a soft voice.
“What about now?”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“Bullshit.”
Makoto blinked his eyes twice.
“Huh? What do you mean?” he asked.
“It’s exactly what it mean. That’s bullshit.” Byakuya replied.
“Why do you think that’s the case, Togami-kun?”
“One, because I can tell that’s the case and two, you didn’t look me in the eye when you said that just now.”
Makoto bit down on his lip harder, drawing blood as Byakuya continued.
“Look at me.”
Makoto hesitated, wondering if he should really do as he said. He heard Byakuya let out an annoyed ‘tch' as he strode over to him, placed his hands on his shoulders, and pushed Makoto against the bookshelf. Makoto’s head snapped up, staring up at the blond in surprise.
“Togami-kun—“ he didn’t get to say anything else as Byakuya’s lips covered his own in a kiss.
Makoto’s eyes widened.
Byakuya is kissing him.
His heart nearly exploded as Byakuya kissed him harder, urging for him to respond. Makoto blinked only for him to see that Byakuya was staring him down, a fire raging in his blue eyes that Makoto had never seen before. His gaze was so intense that it made Makoto shudder. He squeezed his eyes shut as he slowly kissed back. A few minutes passed before Byakuya pulled away.
Dazed by the sudden kiss, Makoto’s eyes slowly fluttered open. He blinked up at the blond as he spoke, the fire in his eyes still flickering.
"If there’s anything I hate more than annoying plebs, it’s being lied to. Don’t say that you don’t love me anymore when it’s obvious that you still do. Before you try and refute me, just know that I can see it in your eyes. You feel something for me still. Even though you say you’re trying to get over me, in the end, you can’t find it you to actually go through with it.” Byakuya explained.
Makoto narrowed his eyes at him.
“Don’t just assume things on your—“ the blond immediately cut him off.
“Also, if you’re going to confess your feelings to me, don’t you dare do it in past tense. I’ll begin losing hope.” Byakuya stated.
Makoto got ready to retort when Byakuya’s words replayed in his mind. This made him curious as to what he meant.
“You’ll begin losing hope? Why is that?” he asked.
“Well, that’s because...” Byakuya trailed off.
He then muttered something under his breath, causing Makoto to eye him curiously.
“What? I didn’t hear what you said.” Makoto said.
Byakuya glowered at him before pushing away and walking off.
“Wait! Togami-kun!” he began to run after him. “Please, tell me what you said!” he exclaimed.
“Do I really have to repeat myself?” Byakuya stopped and whirled around to look at him. “I also like you, dumbass!” he snapped.
Makoto blinked up in bewilderment, watching as Byakuya stared him down. Then, the blond’s words registered in his mind.
“Y-Y-You like me, too?!” he squeaked out, his cheeks immediately flushing a bright red.
“Is that not what I said?” Makoto noticed that the blond’s cheeks were the lightest shade of red as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “What, did you assume that I liked Fukawa or something?” he asked.
“That is...” Makoto trailed off, not wanting to admit that Byakuya was right.
Byakuya sighed in exasperation.
“Just as I thought. Geez, you really are stupid.” he grumbled.
“Huh?!” Makoto gawked at him in shock. “I’m not stupid—“ he was cut off by Byakuya pulling him into his arms.
The blush spread to Makoto’s ears as Byakuya spoke.
“The only one I like is you, so stop making assumptions. Especially the one where you thought I was only looking at you as a mere errand boy.” he said.
“Huh?” Makoto rose his head. “You mean you have always seen me as more than that?” he asked.
“Yeah. But, I guess with the way I worded it, you ended up getting the wrong idea.” Byakuya explained.
“Oh...” Makoto pouted. “Then, you should’ve said it in a way that wouldn’t make me think like that! Be more straightforward!” he whined as he smacked Byakuya’s chest lightly.
“I’ll try.”
“No, you absolutely have to, not try to!”
“Okay, okay, I will.”
“And...especially since we’re now together...” Makoto twiddled with his thumbs. “We should be honest with one another...” he mumbled.
Byakuya stared at Makoto for a couple of minutes before speaking.
“Okay, I’ll be more honest with you, starting now.” he said.
He pulled Makoto back in, leaning in towards his ear. Makoto’s face was red like a tomato, his heart pounding in his ears as the words Byakuya whispered to him played through his mind.
“I love you.”
