Coming home had been harder than she expected. Reaching the docks and stepping onto the boat that had held her since birth didn’t bring any comfort or warmth, just dread over what news she and Broseidon carried. Holly Molly was quick to hug the crew, excited to see the rest of the Starchaser children on board. It wouldn’t take long for them to meet up with the fleets again, and Roxy was sure the young jones would be trying her hand at underwater exploration if she had her way; possibly Rio as well. The Joneses back at the fleet would be thrilled to have more hands for their work.
Brenda gave hugs, and from one glance at the Springers, the oldest Starchaser knew her friends already had suspicions that something was wrong, but it wasn't pushed. They needed to get on their way. To reunite with the fleet, meet up with the rest of the Waverunners, and see what aid they could lend to try and build their families back up again.
It was after dinner, when the youngest was in bed, that the stories were finally told. First Roxy, how she tried to save Mason only to get stabbed in the heart. She glossed over what happened in the Grave Mind, reassured everyone she was fine, Ulysses had checked her out after all. She could see Brenda's hands clenching and unclenching at air, her eye twitching and frown deepening. It was all going into the angry pocket, and Roxy feared when it would be let out.
Bro went next, explaining the toy box, the obvious trap of going into the mess hall, going in anyway (Roxy quietly mentioned how it was her fault, tears already brimming at her eyes). They explained the family meeting, glossing over his session with Barry (words that still stung and rang in her ears), until finally all the cards were on the table. Roxy wanted hooch. She wanted sleep. Most of all she wished her brother would look at her from across the table. The mood was heavy when Brenda excused herself, heading above deck. Broseidon followed shortly after. She almost chuckled at the awkward glance around the room Rio gave before quietly excusing herself above deck as well. Galen calmly stood and picked up dishes, heading to the sink. Looking to Spero she could almost feel the searching he was doing, studying her face before he too stood up from the table.
The oldest put her head down, the cool wood a pleasant sensation against her cheeks, tear soaked and wind burnt cheeks from the long trade weekend. She was so tired, so worn. The sound of the boat’s creaks and the waves didn’t soothe her soul, a realization that scared her.
The sound of a needle on a record stirred her from her thoughts. Like cold water down the spine, like rough wood and splinters against skin, a scream in the night….She fell from her seat screaming as loud as she could.
“It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in-”
Her mother didn’t own that record. That song shouldn’t have followed her her. But here it was, back to torture her again. “Make it stop!” The Storm Chaser screamed, pushing back until she had found a corner, hands over her ears, sobbing as if the pain the sound caused was as physical as it was emotional. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if it wasn’t.
“There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin-”
The record was quickly stopped, she heard the needle leaving the old vinyl, but the words echoed in her head. The salt from her tears burned, she could her Bro storming down the stairs probably looking for a fight, and Brenda’s boots behind him. She didn’t want to open her eyes, too lost in fear to explain. Someone’s hand touched her arm and from the sensation of warmth and calm that it brought, she knew it had to be Galen.
“-she was like this in the toy box, but we couldn’t get out and she seemed fine afterwards” Rio, that was Rio talking. Slowly she sat up rubbing away the salt with her Wave Mother scarf, trying to remember what breathing was once again.
“Roxy what’s going on?” Brenda knelt next to her, a hand on her cheek and that concerned look she must have mastered dealing with the kids for so long.
“..I heard the song again...The Piano Man song...the one i heard in the grave mind.” The rover had to push to make her voice heard over the wave and the deafening static in her ears.
“I didn’t play that song Roxy...I played Janis.” Little Birds voice replied and she nodded.
“It’s in your head then Roxy...we’re getting you checked by a doctor” Bro’s voice left no room for argument even as she shook her head.
“Ulysses said i was fine so I’m fine” the older rolled his eyes taking a seat at the table.
“Well apparently Boss isn’t a good doctor then because obviously something is wrong with you” she felt Brenda pull her into a hug, Roxy didn’t bother resisting, too tired to care.
“You’re safe now Rox, You’re with Family and we’re gonna fix this...like Ohana or somthin’’” the older stroked her braids, that soothing touch calming her some. Roxy heard Brenda saying something to Bro about ‘get hooch and fix her’ and his grumbles in reply as he got up. They moved to the table. Drinks were poured. It was quiet till she finally spoke.
“...I coulda stayed” Roxy whispered, “ I coulda stayed with Ma and Pops and Knucks...even Ulysses too….coulda been one happy family….Ohana…”
“Roxy!-” she held her hand up in request for Brenda to wait. She knew the words would hurt, The Truth would hurt, But it needed said.
“Lemme finish. Lemme talk.” The Rover bit her lip staring into her cup “ Thought about it. The boys would be fine with Brenda. Better than, without my shenanigans around. Depths, it was my fault Bro got killed.” He didn’t meet her eyes, and those words once again echoed in her head. For now she shook them off “ I’m reckless, stupid and selfish. To be honest, I would have said yes but….I promised Ma I would keep the boys safe. I can’t do that from the other side….So here I am.” with a shrug she downed her cup. “I Promised the Mother if she brought Bro back I’d walk my path right…” cautiously deep brown eyes raised to look to her younger brother. “I am the worst of siblings, a crummy priest and a horrible protector. But i’m gonna do better. If this is my last walk i’m going to do it right.”
