Nothing I do is ever good, Nothing I do is ever good enough-
Beni exists in such a weird positions in the family because at the same time she grows up to be someone who exists within their post-tragedy family dynamic (Kanata and Yukari are gone, Hikaru isn't all that present due to work at the foundation, Hamato is her primary caretaker) she is simultaneously seen by her remaining family as a remnant of what used to be even though she does not remember that out of being so young before the tragedy took place.
Ramble that steemed from the thoughts that came outta this last night.
This is moreso with Hamato because he was a Mama's boy and copes kinda badly with Yukari being gone, he wanted (and honestly kinda expected?) Beni to also cherish her as much as he did, especially since she died protecting her, despite her having no memories of their time together nor much knowledge about Yukari and how she used to be because neither her brother or dad talk much about her when she's growing up, yet she was still expected to just,, turn out like that. Unconditional and undying love to someone you have no memories of because that's what expected of you.
Like a living memory they'd be able to have of Yukari, and when she didn't that kinda soured the sibling's relationship. Especially post Sdra2 era where in this AU Kokoro is alive, working on redeeming herself and Beni starts to spend time with her around the foundation since she was the first person that could see there was something up with her (undiagnosed mentall illness) and tried to help, subsequently leading to Beni seeing her as the closest thing to a mother figure which Hamato,, hates. To say the least (for pretty obvious reasons tho, this is still Kokoro we're talking about)
Ironically, it kinda was his insistence for Beni to stay away from Kokoto and want that she'd develop a deep care for her own mother that made her turn out to resent Yukari to an extent. As an adult she barely looks like her anymore (guess who she actually resembles? Haha that sure is one in the gut to Hamato), which is hurts Hamato a little because, given his own feelings, he kinda feels like he failed her even tho that person is literally who Beni is and if she wasn't this way then it wouldn't be her.
So yeah, uh, I don't think they're that close as adults. But Beni has her girlfriend that adores her being the little weirdo she is and Hamato has his own children to raise with his wife the way he wants now, so there's that.















