Snitch! Congratulations to this amazing milestone, which doesn't surprise me at all because you're amazing and talented and just an overall delight to follow 🥰 Ok, so, prompt: cauliflower. Pairing: Jily. Thanks for all the wonderful content you've been gracing us with 😘
Thank you so much! I'm still so amazed that so many people care what I have to say. 😆
You're really trying to test me with this prompt, aren't you?
Lily leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen, staring at it where it sat on the sitting room floor. It hadn’t been there earlier—of that she was sure—and James and Harry had been gone for a few hours now. She couldn’t explain it, and that only meant one thing.
Lily did not trust the cauliflower sitting on the floor.
She knew better, at this point, than to think that something so strange and random was just an accident. No, she had known her husband and his ridiculous friends for far too long to merely accept the vegetable on her carpet. So, in order to not fall prey to their prank, she ignored it.
***
James pretended he didn’t see it. Lily seemed to not be able to see it, or maybe she just didn’t care about it? Either way, it seemed to be that the thing to do was to pretend there was not a large cruciferous vegetable on their floor. She was probably up to something–that devilish, tricky wife of his, so he just acted like it didn’t exist.
***
“Do you see it?”
Sirius whispered it in Remus’s ear as they sipped the glasses of wine that Lily pressed in their hands. She walked right by the cauliflower on the floor, and Sirius couldn’t ignore it anymore.
“What?” Remus looked around for a moment before spotting it, and he nearly jumped when he did. Sirius rolled his eyes. “Oh, I didn’t even notice.”
“It’s been there the whole time we’ve been here.” Sirius glanced nervously at the kitchen. “Do you think it’s going to explode or something?”
“Nah, definitely not.” Remus looked at it. “I think not. They wouldn’t make it explode, right? Harry crawls around all over here. They wouldn’t risk it.”
“Maybe they charmed it to only explode for us.” Sirius looked at it nervously again. “Should we do something about it?”
Remus vehemently shook his head. “Let’s just act like we can’t tell. Best way to foil a prank is to pretend it isn’t happening.”
***
They all sat down to dinner, which of course was topped off with roasted cauliflower. Lily watched each of them suspiciously as they took their serving. James pretended like it was no big deal. Sirius prodded it nervously while trying to prepare himself to dive if it did explode. Remus took a scoop, not even remotely concerned about the cauliflower in the living room.
Lily finally threw her fork down. “Oh, come on. Will you all just give it up already?”
They all looked at her in surprise. Remus spoke up first. “Give what up?”
“The prank!” She stood up and walked toward the sitting room. “The fucking cauliflower. It’s been driving me crazy all day. Why is there a cauliflower in my sitting room?”
James looked back at her blankly. “I thought you put it there.”
Lily looked at him in confusion. “You thought I just left a cauliflower in there?”
James shrugged. “I didn’t do it, and you didn’t mention it.”
Lily turned to Remus and Sirius. “Did you two do this?”
“Hold on, you mean it’s not going to explode?” Sirius asked, fork with a skewered cauliflower still in hand.
Lily looked at him sternly. “You charmed it to explode? But Harry crawls around here!”
“That’s what I said!” Remus took another bite. “But we didn’t charm it. We thought you did.”
She looked between the three of them. “You all thought I did this?” They shrugged and nodded. “Why, exactly, would I?”
James stood up, moving to where he could see the cauliflower again. “If you didn’t, then who did?”
Remus and Sirius joined them in the sitting room, and the four of them stood around the vegetable. No one was willing to touch it.
“Peter, maybe?” Remus asked. “It does seem like a Peter prank.”
“Are you sure you didn’t just drop one when you brought in groceries?” James asked.
“Are we sure it does anything?” Sirius asked
Lily scoffed. “It can’t just be here for no reason. It must do something.”
Just then, Harry came out of his bedroom, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He walked right between the legs of all the adults, picked up the cauliflower, and walked back toward his room.
“Harry!” James cried. “What are you doing?”
“My caw-flower.” Harry pat it with his chubby little hand.
“Yours, my love?” Lily asked, her voice now soft.
“Mine!”
“Buddy.” Sirius squatted in front of him. “Did you leave it there?”
Harry nodded. “Uh-huh!”
“But, why?”
“It napping.” Harry pat it again. “Now bedtime. Go sleep.”
The four of them stood there and watched Harry toddle back to his room.
James cleared his throat. “We’re all going to pretend like we didn’t get pranked by a baby, right?”
“Are you kidding, Prongs?” Sirius clapped a hand to his chest. “Little marauder got us all. Proudest day of my life.”
