A Letter From Your Dear Friend, Dracula
May 16, 1890 Letter:
Dearest friend,
For all of Jonathan’s intrusions in the castle like a wandering mouse and all the locks I put up for his safety, I should have considered his habit of walking directly into the spider’s web, so to speak. He had laid down to rest in a room that is a usual haunt for the ladies of the manor, and they decided to crawl out from their shadows like nobility descending their thrones to observe their new plaything.
Really, I let Jonathan out of my sight for a moment, and they spring upon him like a pack of wolves! Truly, I do not understand how you could care for a lick of their unruly company when you are here. They have no decency and decorum for houseguests! I practically had to fight them off of Jonathan so they stopped swarming him like he was some odd creature!
Of course I was rightfully furious when I saw them toying with him and chastised them for even dare approaching. My questioning of them yesterday was not an open invitation for them to act like vultures upon Jonathan! They have no need to talk to him! It is not like the times you and I needed extra companions to fill out a parlor game and were forced to include them. They have no need for a solicitor if they are not moving. I need one if I am to leave! Is it not enough that I am letting those vile creatures keep my beloved castle?
Even worse was the embarrassment I felt as they began to mock me in front of Jonathan. Claiming I am incapable of love? As if there are not endless pits where their hearts should reside? Have I not proven my ability to love? Yes, I do not care for them anymore, but how could they deny I cannot care for another after so many of your visits to the castle?
I promised them social time with Jonathan once he and I have concluded my much more important business. As if you were a spectre to this, I can already hear your voice trying to defend them, saying they might be lonely and want new company! Those are just the kind of lies they whisper to you to make you reject my company. I implore you to not listen to the versions of them that whisper in your head. They can’t even allow for time for the very first words I penned you in the final hours of night to dry before their unruly actions send this house into a state of disrepair!
I am, of course, a gracious lord of the manor, and despite their betrayal and awful behavior, I still provided them a very giving meal. Worst of all, their horrible eating habits and departure caused Jonathan to faint! Has he not been sleeping properly? I know I keep odd hours, but I did not know it would affect him so. Or perhaps conflict spooks the spirit out of him. Are all Englishmen these weak, or did mine have the body of a deer in a previous life? I carried him off to his bedroom so that the ladies did not disturb his small amount of slumber again. I noticed Jonathan had letters in their envelopes awaiting mailing on his desk, so I collected them so I might send them at the same time I send this letter.
Unfortunately, the ladies have kept me from reading your letter today. I have so graciously provided sanctuary to them from the cruel hands of the world, yet they repay me with such indignant displays! Could they not show gratitude in helping me play host rather than actively disrupting that role? My only break would have been your letter. I hope it is not a topic of great urgency, but I pray fate will give me time sooner to write a reply to you.
Your friend,
Dracula
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