#dramaness

[itskangy]

Not again

I’ve told myself that if ever I get attracted to someone, I know it is just temporary because my heart just feel loneliness.

I do not like or love you,

I never will.

[bumbaynanilalang]

I’ve been missing A LOT of things, events and people lately. Kaibigan kong nasa japan, grade 9 moments, childhood friends, catchx, samahan ng squad namin nung wala pang ka MU si chinits boy, gala and everything, SJB peoplets, etc. It happens to me all the time; it is like I remember something,  long for it (up to the point where I feel so sad for I know that it’s all done and there is no way for me to bring them back drama huhuhu). I always find myself thinking about the past.. There are so many memories I keep on replaying in my head; I am so nostalgic lately and tbh it’s not even funny.

Seriously though, I assume everyone gets this kind of longing feeling I am talking about. Sometimes I hope to get a dream about it or something, just so I could (in some way) get the feeling I had during that particular moment. But isn’t it nice to indulge in happy and fun feeling of past events? And isn’t it also sad to know that it is now just a mere memory? Why is it even possible to be so happy and sad at the same time? Tangines lang mga bes

[bumbaynanilalang]

Those silly conversations we had, those nights where we stayed up late talking to each other. I miss them all, every one of them.

[bumbaynanilalang]

Someday i'll look at him like we never broke each other's hearts.

[yourdefinitelynott]

The one that I used to know..

Is still the same person that I am with until now.

Yung babaeng nakilala ko nung first year college palang ako. Yung babaeng halos kaparehas na kaparehas ko. Yung babaeng pati pagging agent e ambisyon din. Yung babaeng naging kaibigan ko. Yung babaeng minahal ko na parang kapatid na, kapamilya. Yung babaeng sinama ko na sa mga pangarap ko at sa mga future plans ko. Yung babaeng alam kong hndi ko kakalimutan kahit na anong mangyare. Yung babaeng tinuring akong ate, rumespeto, pinahalagahan at minahal ako. Sya pden pala sya hanggang ngayon. Akala ko nagbago na sya, akala ko hndi na sya yun pero sya den pala sya, siyang siya pden. Siguro nagbago, siguro nga meron pero alam ko at ramdam ko na sya pden yung kaibigan ko. Lumayo nga lang din sigruo yung loob nmen sa isa’t isa. Hndi nga lang din siguro kame nagkakaintindihan. Hndi ko nga lang din siguro sya naintindihan. Nawala nga lang din siguro ako at di ganon napakita kung gano sya kahalaga. Akala ko tuluyan na syang nagbago, pero hndi pa pala, kse ramdam na ramdam ko pden kase alam na alam ko ngayong oras nato na sya yon. Siguro madami lang talaga syang pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan at wala ako don para samahan sya. Not literally na wala pero inakala nyang wala ako, na wala nako, na wala na, yung ganon(hirap explain). Pero hndi nya alam na nandto lang nman ako lage, naghhintay lang nman lage skanila, kung kelan sila lalapit o magssabe. Kung kelan nila gustuhin na magopen o umiyak. I am always here for them, pero siguro ang mali ko lang is hndi ko ganun napakita o naparamdam lalo na skanya. Natanim kse sa isip nya na may favorite at hndi sya yon. kaya lumayo sya, nasaktan. Pero hndi ko gusto yon, sno ba ang may gusto ng ganon? Kase isa sya sa mga taong gusto kong magstay sa buhay ko. Isa sya sa ilan sa mga kaibigan kong tinetresure at ayokong mawala, pero kse hndi ko alam kung pano ssabihin o ipaparamdam. Hndi ko alam kung pano ko sisimulan, o kung makikinig pba sya o may pake pba sya. Natatakot ako sa rejection na pde kong matanggap. Natatakot ako sa sakit na pde kong maramdaman pag nangyare yon kaya eto ako nanahimik nlang din. Maybe it’s too late, maybe not. Or maybe hndi pato yung right time kase parehas kmeng mas may kailangang intindihin. Sa ngayon, mas mdalas ko syang hndi maintindihan lalo na sa mga decisions na ginagawa nya, pero pilit kong iniintindi. Iniintindi kung baket at kailangan nyang gawen yon. Kase lahat nman may rason e. maybe for her own sake maybe not. Pero kahit ano pa man ang rason, maintindihan ko man o hndi, magalit man ako at hndi sya kausapin alam ko na nandto pden ako para skanya. Makagawa man sya ng napalaking kamalian sa buhay nya, I am still here at handa syang tanggapin ng paulet ulet. That’s what friends are for. That’s what I am for. To be there, maybe not always at her side but promise to be always there and accept her no matter what. To understand all her reasons, all her insecurities and all the pain she’s keeping inside her. Sa ngayon. ayun yung kaya kong gawen para skanya. Not to be the perfect and the best ate and friend she would ever have but to be just me willing to accept and love her with her flaws and imperfections. To see the best in her when no one else’s can. To give her a hand when she wants to give up. To tap her back and tell her everythings gonna be alright and God’s always been there, always. And I hope she’ll let me :)

[vanishedhalf]

Pag may kailangan, doon ka lang kilala

[kimnipeds]

Marami kase akong namiss sayo eh, yung mga Good morning messages mo na sweet pa sa asukal na nilalagay sa mainit na kape. Yung mabubuo na ang araw ko dahil sa sobrang haba ng nilalaman neto na halos maging tula na kung babasahin. Yung mga banat mo na kahit sobrang korni napapakilig ako. Yung pag tatawagin mo ko parang sayo lang talaga ako. Pag naman makata ang umaga mo, agad mong sasabihin.. 'MAGANDANG UMAGA MAHAL KONG BINIBINI' oh dibaa, naaalala mo pa kaya yun.