#dreamyourselffree

[rememberebonyjanice]

Hi! It’s me seeing myself in this moment. This is a moment that I won’t have to look back in a few years from now and realize that I was that b/that nga and somehow I missed it because of body dysmorphia. Yay me! Yay therapy! Yay to a heal/ing moment. Also yes, it is 8:20am CST and I’ve already been in the backyard hot tub in over the top swimwear! 🤭😏🤷🏾‍♀️ ——— Was texting with the homie this morning abt a recent therapy revelation someone posted on Twitter that we both resonated with and I thought, “THIS” is what I mean when I say, “Dreams as resistance” because when blk ppl/ Blk women/woc/POC have to do resistance work all the live long day we never get to settle in our bodies in these types of healing moments that other folks have as a given or a luxury. The decision to focus on ME as a whole, free, liberated person isn’t selfish... it is radical, revolutionary, and the balance of God! <- Sometimes God will hold your hand and step by step you. And sometimes God will fall back and see if you ready to run. I am learning how to be Balanced God because I’ve had a deep investment in only being “Good God” (Good Good via Thea Monyee, 2021). ——— #DreamYourselfFree is always available for your tangible support. Learn more at bit.ly/EmmasLegacyFoundation ——- #TheEbonyJaniceProject (at New Orleans, Louisiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CP5r0h1hcDX/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rememberebonyjanice]

Last night I wrote: I am not just the bright beam of light, I am the darkness too. I guess that’s shadow work but I have (we have) rejected the idea that we aren’t just goodness and rainbow beams shooting from our face all day. Sometimes we are ashy. Sometimes we are ugly. Sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we see dark. Sometimes we are moody. We. Are. This. Too. When I started working with my lil divine feminine/vulnerability coach, I just wanted to be a goddess all day. My faith journey has reminded me, however, that Oshun is honey AND she will (insert violence here). She IS both. In fact... she is more than just the two. She is multiple. I’m not supposed to be launching NOTHINGGGG else this year but I have this yearning for community with the women folk. I want to host a retreat in Sedona this fall for a small group of women doing the deep work of vulnerability. 👩🏾‍💻👀 You prob gonna have to be vacksed to pull up but... is that something you’d be interested in? For now I think it’s gonna be black woman and WOC — and as of now I’m not certain of cost or scholarship opportunities. I could consider doing it under @emmaslegacyfoundation (go donate to that work if you haven’t already)... but I’m dreaming out loud! You down to come be lavish and raggedy with me for a few days in a vortex? 🤭 She don’t know it yet, but @theamonyee probably gonna be there leading some workshop or other and I am imagining a few other surprise guests/workshops... and we only do chefs on Dream retreats nowadays so... Yeah. What say ye? #DreamYourselfFree #TheFreePeopleProject https://www.instagram.com/p/CPQnWT4BDOO/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rememberebonyjanice]

I was listening to “Breathe” by Michael W. Smith from his “Worship” album (probably the greatest worship album of all time) and I started sobbing. Like unmetaphoric sobs... real throaty moans and heavy tears because every now and then... I remember. Whew! . . . I was lost without myself. I was desperate for myself. My relationship with God and myself are so intricately connected that I had become unstitched fabric slipping away from my own self tryna fit myself into a low that consumed me until it was hollow and I was empty. Listen. Whew! . . . Now I am whole. I don’t want any “blessing” that will cause me to fall away from myself. No matter how long I prayed for it or how hard I asked for it... No! I don’t want a me that isn’t me ever ever not even never again! #TheFreePeopleProject . . . I thought I was gonna die. Look at me living (good) and ish! #DreamYourselfFree . . . I’m sowing this kind of healing and knowing into the Dream Yourself Free Masterclass Intensive. You can give to the this work, the mission to #BlackGirlMixtape, #AYearOfBlackJoy, and the 12 Mo Spiritual Mentoring Program by visiting bit.ly/EmmasLegacyFoundation (case sensitive) today! Healing Big! This, too, is our activism! 🖤🙏🏾 #Dream #Ease #Play #Heal #Manifest #TheFreePeopleProject (at New Orleans, Louisiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPItJxdBti9/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rememberebonyjanice]

1. There is a LIVE workshop in July of the #BlackGirlMixtape writing session as a tier to support the thing we are building. Yes it is $250. Yes space Is limited because it’s exclusive or whatever. No you don’t get to ask questions - it’s our genius at work that you get to pull up and watch. Yes you can tell people about it but NO you can not share the video/or clips of the video with anyone (other than approved promotional materials after the fact). No there will not be another one of these LIVE workshops annnny time soon after the July date. This video clip is 50 seconds of 2 hours and just a little piece of the #BlackGirlMagic you’re registering to see when you get your ticket. So just imagine! 🙊 —— 2. There are sooooooo many ways to support this work. Visit www.blackgirlmixtape.com to learn about any of the 10 tiers that you might be able to give towards. —- 3. Black Girl Mixtape is 1/4 incredible programs through @emmaslegacyfoundation - Your follow, share, donations support: #BlackGirlMixtape, 12 Month Spiritual Mentoring Program, #DreamYourselfFree & A Year Of Black Joy —— This epic crew: @mobrowne @theamonyee @nikkiblak @khadiyogini @sonyareneetaylor @zakii9 @champagnepoet @ me! —- Iconic. <- 🤷🏾‍♀️😏🔮🖤🙏🏾 Www.blackgirlmixtape.com (at New Orleans, Louisiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/COtruPwhrds/?igshid=pwnn0k5ezlpk

[rememberebonyjanice]

In my LIVE with my Aunt Phyllis on Tuesday we talked a little bit about how we were raised to be "serious women." It's not an outward directive. But its insinuated. Its assumed. If you want to be taken serious as a black|woman -- you need to be serious. I have serious'd myself out of love. I have serious'd myself out of joy. I have serious'd myself out of crying. I have serious'd myself out of dancing. I have serious'd myself out of winding. I have serious'd myself out of creating. I have serious'd myself out of making love. I have serious'd myself out of feeling. I have serious'd myself out of dreaming. There is a time and a place for seriousness. Seriousness has created certain truths for me. And I value and appreciate that. But I just wonder... Whew! I wonder... My divine feminine coach recently suggested that instead of me openly saying to the Beloved, "I'm upset" that I get in his face and "meow" or "growl." L O L ! If you've been following my "softness" journey you know this coach is a white woman. I be looking at her like she's out of her mind at least 10 times a session. I love her even though a little bit she is out of her mind. But the joy is, our work together is exposing places of play and softeness that my serious black girl self can't fathom. So per usual, I was taking my coaching to the homies (cause I'm Nettie and they Celie and if I can know it they can know it too) and I told one of them about the growling and the way we both howled laughing at the impracticality of it in our relationships. And also... We want it. We want that kind of playfullness. We want to feel the ease of a "meow" in place of a, "I think we need to talk about how you made me feel the other day." LOL! So many things. Anyways -- @emmaslegacyfoundation <- Is doing the work of taking this radical healing for black women to the world. Your support contributes to programming that ensures we do not spend the rest of our lives and generations to come serious'ing ourselves out of anything that we deserve and are worthy of. Learn more at bit.ly/ayearofblackjoy #TheFreePeopleProject #DreamYourselfFree https://www.instagram.com/p/CK4R3NrF9us/?igshid=xpfqnu7446nx

[rememberebonyjanice]

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Happy Black History Month. We launched #AYearOfBlackJoy yesterday and with it a major fundraising campaign to fund @emmaslegacyfoundation which houses: - #DreamYourselfFree - 12 Month Spiritual Mentoring Program - Black Girl Mixtape Visit bit.ly/ayearofblackjoy or bit.ly/EmmasLegacyFoundation to give today. Share the link with 5 friends and encourage them to support this work as well! 🎉🔮 #HappyBlackHistory Month #WeGonBeAlright #TheFreePeopleProject https://www.instagram.com/p/CKy9mVQAAgN/?igshid=60no20m2xxq0

[rememberebonyjanice]

"If we were made in His image then call us by our names Most intellects do not believe in God but they fear us just the same." - @erykahbadu --- I wonder who I would be, by now, if I loved myself as much as I love God. --- I wonder who I would be, by now, if I didn't spend so much of my life seeing myself as separate from God. --- I wonder who we would be if we were so deeply invested in experiencing the presence of God that we literally showed up as Christ's body, the place where God lives. --- I wonder. --- I'm excited about launching cohort 2 of the 6 Month Dream Yourself Free Masterclass Intensive for black women. Visit https://ebonyjanice.com/dream-yourself-free and apply. Scholarship opportunities are available. Additionally, there is still time to get the archives for January's 12 Month Spiritual Mentoring Program AND February is deep healing work with @shardemus -- You will never be the same. Sign up today at https://ebonyjanice.com/12-month-spiritual-mentorship-program Tomorrow we launch our month long campaign to fund #BlackGirlMixtape, Dream Yourself Free Scholarships, and provide resources for programming that is centering black women and women of color's ease, wellness, wholeness, and dreams @emmaslegacyfoundation You can learn more about this work (and donate) at: https://ebonyjanice.com/a-year-of-black-joy --- We are doing more than wondering what it will look like to return to God. We are returning to God. #TheFreePeopleProject #EmmasLegacy #DreamYourselfFree https://www.instagram.com/p/CKuyqOjFwLE/?igshid=136i0clsrvw0e

[rememberebonyjanice]

I tried voodoo. I tried hoodoo. These are not metaphors. I was gonna get what I wanted. To god be the glory or me. I left Jesus. Returned. I tried to love offering my way through. I tried spiritual manipulation; "God if you... I will..." I fasted for 40 days. Slept on the floor. Set prayer alarms and prayed at every watch. Cut my hair off 3 times. Grew it back 4. These are not lyrics to a Lemonade interlude... this is real life. I got a good book and got all in it Tried a little yoga for a minute. Me: Please Please Please. On a mountain. In the valley. In a field. Prostrate. Leaping in the air. Running around a church. Unknown tongues. Spanish. English. French. A few words in Japanese. God: (blank stare) Still no. I would have brought shame to my ancestors the way I wallowed in that Lauryn Hill song. I would have probably brought shame to my family the way I wallowed in that Cold Play song. But God - my God... wasn't finna let me bring shame to my descendants. So thank God for "No." "Nope." "Nah." "Girl Bye." "Ask me again and watch." "Stop playing with me." "NEVER!" --- I just came to say Heal Through and find out if you even want the things you been praying for for so long that some of that stuff you just still asking for out of habit and not true, informed desire. —- Do this healing work with me: 🔮12 Month Spiritual Mentoring Program registration: https://ebonyjanice.com/12-month-spiritual-mentorship-program 🔮 Dream Yourself Free Masterclass Intensive for Black Women (applications open) https://ebonyjanice.com/dysf-scholarship-application-2021 Grow In Community With Me: Patreon.com/ebonyjanice #TheFreePeopleProject #DreamYourselfFree https://www.instagram.com/p/CKfZDwNFxDB/?igshid=1j9t41h8vu6yk