Hi, you beautiful soul you. I need to go stalk your FF page to see if you've written anything. I don't know why, but I don't get alert emails for you. Title thing: public enemy #2
That’s weird. I’m guessing you have me on alerts? Must be an issue with FF.net.
Okay, well, the last one of these I did got crazy long, so I’m going to keep this one brief.
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So one day, Jane was in the kitchen making a sandwich, and she realized that she forgot to buy peanut butter. That won’t do. Time for a grocery run!
She gets in her car and is almost immediately caught in a traffic jam. She sits there for five minutes with no movement at all. Everyone around her is getting antsy, honking their horns and screaming. Jane can’t say she blames them, but she’s tired from a long week of work and doesn’t have the energy to be upset, she just really wants these goddamn cars to move.
Finally, they do, and as Jane drives by, she notes there was a big accident on the side of the rode. Two cars smashed together with an ambulance loading two injured people onto the stretchers. It looks bad, but nobody else appears to be hurt. Jane continues on to the store without any trouble. She starts to park in the first available car seat, but before she can unlock the door, a man comes out of nowhere and rushes into the passenger seat of her car.
He’s a very handsome man in a ripped dress shirt that has flecks of blood in it. He’s sweating and breathing heavily like he ran a long distance. He reaches into his pocket, and for a split second, Jane’s life flashes before her eyes, because surely he’s about to pull out a gun.
Instead, he takes out a roll of hundred dollar bills.
“Drive me where I need to go, and you can have it,” he tells her. He has a British accent, sort of like her ex-boyfriend, Thor. Come to think about it, Thor had some photos of his estranged brother in his house if Jane remembered correctly, and he looked exactly like this guy.
“Excuse me?” Jane asks, flabbergasted. “No!”
Three more cars tear into the parking lot, and suddenly bullets are flying everywhere.
“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice anymore, Jane.”
The fact that he knows her first name would be a top concern if it wasn’t for all the shooting going on. Jane somehow manages to step on the gas and get them out of there. Her passenger sticks his head out the window to return fire. Their aim is as bad as those guys in the action movies, but of course he gets two of them right in the head. By now, there are sirens blaring in the distance, so now there’s not only insane killers chasing them, but also the cops.
He won’t let her stop because the cops can’t be trusted. They can’t go back to her place either because the police and the news crew flying overhead is probably already running her plates to get her name and address. They pass the accident site, and Jane again notes the blood on her passenger.
By the time they’re driving out of city limits, Jane’s name is all over the news as ‘a possible accomplice of career criminal, Loki Laufeyson.’
And that’s how Jane became a wanted fugitive over peanut butter.