summary: Simon Snow is intoxicated and Baz Pitch is hopelessly in love with him. Loosely based off of that one friends episode and @creativitear ‘s post of that snowbaz text message thing
part 1, part 2, part 3 , part 4 of fuck knows I'm making this shit up.
read on AO3
I was filming the group assignment in the dorm room for potions class when Simon texted. When i got the first few messages i kind of figured he was dared to text me, so i minded my own damn business. Until the situation became my business, until my one top priority became Simon and his stupidity.
I have to babysit the fucking Chosen one. And the Chosen one called me beautiful. and a babe. (Or at least in Simon's case he tried to spell that one out.) I don't know what to think. Or feel.
But i do know what to do.
The nearest bar i know is the Cupids Shot bar -- all the watford teenagers go there on Fridays or Saturdays (Sunday's when they're feeling that low) and its a 5 minute walk from Watford.
I soon find myself jogging towards the bar, hoping to a god i don't believe in that Simon didn't do anything he'd normally do. Which is something inconceivably stupid. Obviously. That one's a given.
Crowley, he's so fucking stupid.Fucking hopeless idiot. Im running now, and i still don't know what to think. Or feel.
Once I reach my destination, i fish for the bottle of cologne from inside my jean pocket. I changed out of my school uniform a while ago -- what do you wear when you're going to save your longtime crush from poisoning themselves with too much vodka? The answer is jeans and a plain green shirt. I also tied my hair into a bun for good measure. I spray the bottle of cologne on my neck and wrists -- its cedar and bergamot. A personal favourite.
I walk into the bar and a few people glance my way, some boys and some girls. If i weren't in love with Simon Snow i could have been the worlds greatest play boy. People would have made legends about me.
The bar smells like any regular old bar. I spot a few students i’ve seen walking past by the Watford hallways. Theres strangers kissing, others drinking their sanity away, and a giant crowd of dancing, sweating bodies in the centre of the room, letting their limbs run free with the blaring music.
I pray Simon isnt one of those bodies and thats when i spot him: sitting on the bar stool, his phone on his hand and a shot of god knows what on another. In just a second he downs that shit and places the empty glass on the countertop, his head hanging low.
He's a mess.
Well, theres one thing to be grateful for: he's also alone. I search the perimeter of the room. No bulky guy. That's good. Splendid. Saving the Chosen one would be easier for me then. And then of course theres another thing to keep in mind: The Chosen one is drunk. Drunk senseless. Shit for sense, and since the chosen one happens to be Simon Snow, who naturally has a shit sense, this just means his stupidity is maximised by all that alcohol.
I have a strong feeling that this night would be the bane of my entire existence. I walk towards the monstrosity that is Simon Snow, and every step i take towards him feels like a sort of vindication.
I still don't know what to feel.Crowley, I just wanted to film my group project in peace. I know, I know, i've done terrible things that could amount to this much karma, and karma is the biggest living asshole there is but god did it have to be me?
and then i see him. Simon's description of him seems about right, despite the alcohol. I know its him because it just seems a little too obvious, actually. He's a big bulky guy. Not dwayne johnson big, but regular big. the kind of big to get rightfully intimidated by.
But I'm Baz Pitch, so i say to hell with intimidation. Besides, intimidation is nothing when you could call upon hot vermillion flames on the two of your hands and could suck the blood out of a deer. I make intimidation itself look like my bitch.
I feel my face grow red with anger -- my palms start to sweat and I'm just about to yell at him to back off when he places a hand on Snow's shoulder, and i watch with horror as he puts his lips to Simon's ear and whispers (i think its vampire senses that help me make it out)
"You wanna get out of here darling? I know a place where the two of us could get to know each other a little better."
My throat starts to clog up.
Simon gives him a confused look. I tap the bulky guy's shoulder with my finger. He looks up at me.
Then I punch him.
I punch him thinking of the words he whispered to Simon, taking every letter and syllable and hitting him back with it. I punch him with all the strength i have, and mind you i've got a lot of strength in me. I make sure i punch him real damn hard his grandchildren would have a bruise on their cheek and the next generation to the next generation after.
I punch him so hard he falls backwards, then i punch him again and he topples over the counter. People stand up and seem to gather all around me and bulky guy here, but i don't bother with any of them -- i punch him and punch him until he's on the floor, until i see the blood trail off his nostrils. Until i see Simon Snow in the corner of my eye, eyes wide and mouth agape. Only then do i stop.
Its been awhile since I've been this violent, and it feels wrong to start now. But then again, I'm not the big weird pervert who likes taking advantage of kids younger my age. Now i have one thing to think about when i want to punch something. "Hey," I look over to my side where the bartender is, eyes wide as well as everyones. I'm not that ignorant (i am indeed very ignorant) but aren't crowds like these suppose to be cheering? Were the hollywood movies all a lie? (I'm not surprised.)
"You gotta leave." The bartender says, pointing towards the door. "Yeah, well." I look to the floor where the bulky guy is, bruised and pissed as fuck. He arches an eyebrow at me, his hand in his nose, miserably trying to contain all that blood. his eyes look at me like he either wants to slit my throat and drown me in the river or take me to his house to seduce me. Because he’s just that kind of guy.
I'd rather he drown me in a river, thank you very much.
”I think i got that message. C'mon Snow." He's still standing there, dazed, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. I grab his arm and he looks at me.Once we're out, i lightly hit him on the arm. Even that sends him stumbling back a bit. I grab his arm again. "I'm not doing this because i worry about your wellbeing, I'm doing this because it is under basic moral obligation to look after those in need." He grins. The fucker actually grinned at me, and of course he looks beautiful when he grins. He says "Aye aye captain," and then stumbles upon a trash can and bows his head there, vomiting the night away. Simon bloody Snow.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary: Simon Snow is intoxicated and Baz Pitch is hopelessly in love with him. Loosely based off of that one friends episode and @creativitear ‘s post of that snowbaz text message thing
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4
(Also posting chaptered Fics in tumblr is a pain in the ass so please read on AO3 :D) (thanks for all the support so far woah)
