#drunk johnny

[dream-beyond-the-fantasy]

For your prompt thing. Johnny Lawrence, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”~ Steve Fergosi

You have been gifted a ficlet!  Thank you for the inspiration!  It was fun to write.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740736/chapters/66206231

[bitkahsfandomcaps]

CK 2x05 All In Screencaps 161

[meenasmoon]

Johnny leaving Meena a drunk voice mail. That is all. 😈 (Only if you want to)

Leave A Message At the Beep

Short but hilarious I can nearly guarantee it. Please enjoy my drunk gorilla baby.

Meena sighed in relief as she collapsed on the bed in her room, dropping her large duffel bag on her fluffy carpet with an audible bump. She looked over at the alarm clock on her nightstand and groaned when she saw what time it was. She had been gone for a couple of days for a huge family reunion and the only flight that had been available by the time the reunion was done was a late night red-eye. It was three a.m. and she was exhausted but she couldn’t muster up the energy that it took to sleep. She was too exhausted to sleep.

Meena rolled over onto her stomach and grabbed her cell phone. As the small device powered up she stared blankly at her purple comforter, following the meticulous stitching without really seeing it. Her phone beeped to signal her that it had fully powered up and she could receive messages. There were a couple text messages from family members saying various forms of ‘it was good to see you’. There was a text message from Ash saying that she better come home soon because she was sick of mopey Johnny, and then another picture of two big bottles of vodka with the caption 'getting crunk tonight’.

Meena stifled a laugh and rolled her eyes at the absurdity of the statement. She then scrolled through her email, deleting spam and marking some emails from Mr. Moon about upcoming press interviews. Finally, she opened her voicemail and frowned in confusion when she found that she had missed three calls from Johnny, each accompanied by a voicemail. Meena pressed play on the earliest message and put the phone on speaker so that she could hear the message as she changed into her pajamas.

*BEEP*

Meeeeenaaaaaa…

Ya can’t leef me alone wif this grumpy spike-monster anymore… I fin’ she’s plannin’ ter kill me.

Oh God she’s comin’ over 'ere. Save meeeee.

Yo Pretty Boy what are you doing?

I’m talkin’ ter me angel gumdrop. Go away!

Your angel gumdrop….oh Meena! Let me talk to her!

The sounds dissolved into the sounds of a scuffle as time ran out and Meena giggled helplessly into her pillow. She had seen videos of funny drunk voicemails but she had never received one herself. This was going to be good. She got comfortable on her bed, clad in her fuzzy socks and a thin nightdress, and pressed play on the second message.

*BEEP*

'Ave I ever told ya that you’re the sweetest candy fin’ in aw of the universe? Ya smell loike sugar on me taste bumps.

When ya come back from war I’m gonna take ya aht ter get chinya- chinalo- special food.

*knock knock knock*

Johnny get your butt out of the bathtub. I know you’re hiding in there!

…Johnny’s not 'ere wite na. Please leef a nice message at the beep… BEEP!

Johnny you idiot it’s Ash. Let me talk to Meena… call me back. BEEP!

I got rid of 'er sweetcakes. Cakety cakety cakie cake. Ooo I want cake.

Do yo fin it’s stealin’ if it’s cake?

Imma become the famous cake burglar! 

And I won’t discriminate on types of cake either. Cupcakes, bundt cakes… aw cakes ’re created equal. Except for banana, I ‘ate banana.

The message cut off as Johnny began ranting about his hatred for banana and Meena found herself laughing hysterically into her pillow. She was trying hard not to make enough noise to wake her sleeping family members but it was hard with her boyfriend ranting so drunkenly in her voicemail. Once she had calmed down enough to hold back her laughter she reached forward and pressed play on the final drunken message.

*BEEP*

Meena Meena Meenaaaaaaa!

Won’t ya please come home-aaaaIf ya do I’ll kiss yaaaaa

And make ya dinnaaaaaaaah

Cause I loooooove yaaaaaa.

Ok I’m gonna sleep in me tub boat. I’ll chat ya up in the mornin’. 

Brin’ donuts.

And cake.

*mwah*

Meena quickly hit the save button when she was prompted, archiving those little gems so that they could serve as blackmail later on. She then turned off her lamp and settled under the covers. She drifted off to sleep quickly, but not before shooting off a short text to Johnny. 

When Johnny woke up the next morning, curled up in a ball in the porcelain tub with a pounding headache, his phone screen lit up, indicating a message from Meena. He opened it, groaning slightly when the brightness of the screen made his head pound harder. She had simply written:

‘I love you too.’

[bitkahsfandomcaps]

CK 2x05 All In Screencaps 162

[bitkahsfandomcaps]

CK 2x05 All In Screencaps 163

[bitkahsfandomcaps]

CK 2x05 All In Screencaps 158

[bitkahsfandomcaps]

CK 2x05 All In Screencaps 159

[bitkahsfandomcaps]

CK 2x05 All In Screencaps 160