Drunk Kidge Confessions! Pidge to Keith!
Character: Keith Kogane, Pidge Gunderson/Katie Holt
Pairings: Keith/Pidge
Warnings!: Drunken shenanigans. Throwing up. Eventual Hangover. Dirty flirting. mention of STDs
Summary: Pidge finally plucked up the courage to ask Keith on a date, only to see him with Acxa. She decides to drown her sorrows with the local alcohol...
A/N: You voted and I delivered! I have not, even slightly, edited this! I hope it's not too all over the place, but I will go back and fix it if I need to! It ran away with me and ended up hella long, but I'm sure that won't upset anyone! Well, it's back to drunk Keith for me!
Pidge sat at the bar of a local tavern. She had never been happier that this culture took so much pride in brewing fruit based alcohol that not only tasted great but had one of the highest percentages she had ever heard of. She had checked, checked, and triple-checked that it was safe for humans, and she was sure she could drink herself into unconsciousness without doing any permanent damage other than a galaxy-ending hangover, even given her small stature.
She was sick and tired of emotions. She just wanted to blot them out, steep in complete oblivion for a few hours before having to go back to reality and stick a smile on her face while she faked she was okay. Spoiler alert; she was not okay. She chuckled to herself at the My Chemical Romance reference she accidentally made, then realised it reminded her of him again and returned to a pout. Him. Keith motherquiznaking Kogane. She hated that she felt the way she did about him. She hated that it had taken her this long to realise her feelings weren’t just admiration, or a crush. But most of all she hated the fact that he would never feel the same. She was sad for her, not mad at him. He deserved to be happy, but seeing him happy with her was somehow painful.
This planet had a bustling shopping district that had been preserved by the Galra for its eclectic mix of produce, products, bars, and restaurants. Now it was Galra free, in the political not literal sense, it was open for business to locals and saviours alike. Which was the reason for Pidge being here. She had found a restaurant that sold what closely reminded her of burgers and fries and was excited to share it with him, she had planned to finally do what her heart desired, and ask him on a date. Yeah, well that idea had soon been blown out of the water. No sooner had she rushed towards their temporary lodgings than she saw him with her, going into an accessories shop. They were smiling and laughing and…and…and just so happy. She was everything Pidge was not. Tall, slender, a warrior not a thinker. And the worst thing was Pidge didn’t even hate her, she couldn’t. Acxa had helped the team, defected to their side, and she and Keith made such a beautiful couple. After tonight she would be pleased for them, she decided. But for now, she would feel sorry for herself.
She took the shot from the glass in front of her, the sweet burn travelling through her body as she closed her eyes for a moment. This was number…four, five, six…wait, was that one glass or two? Definitely nearing double figures. Even more definitely double vision. Given her weight and height she should still be able to make it back to their lodgings with ten in her system, she just might have to ask someone to give her a total.
‘Another?’ The gold tinged skinned barman held the bottle of pale pink liquid out with another glass.
‘How many is that now?’
‘Eight.’ She waved him to pour it before taking it. ‘The ancient tradition of the barkeep, on my planet at least, is that of a bringer of alcohol and an ear to listen. Should you need to talk, even some nonsensical human issue, I will listen and offer any advice I feel may suffice to appease you.’
‘Wow, no beating about the bush, just lip service until I’m satisfied, huh?’ She replied, taking her time as she struggled to form the words without issue.
‘Beating a bush seems a futile endeavour, and I am afraid our service does not cover lips any further than serving a drink that may briefly touch them.’ He…wait, was it a he? She pondered the thought as it ran through her head. Okay, they, they had misunderstood her analogies.
‘They’re Earth sayings.’ She replied. ‘One means to, you know what? Doesn’t matter. I’m here because of something…personal.’
‘Might I proffer a guess?’ She waved her drink to encourage him. ‘Your inbibement of many alcohol leads me to believe your personal problem is that of a coital nature.’
Pidge spat out the drink she had just downed and took the napkins the barkeep offered. ‘That one does count.’
‘Number nine, again.’ He poured her once more. ‘Am I to assume your abrupt expulsion was due to the correctness of my statement and not due to the alcohol you have ingested all night suddenly disagreeing with you?’
‘You got that on the…’ She squinted at him and realised he didn’t have a nose, so that analogy wouldn’t work either. ‘You got it absolutely right.’
He wiped down the sprayed bar and answered without looking at her. ‘And this coital issue is due to your mate being unable to perform adequately?’
She was glad she had paused before drinking this time as that would have led to another bar spraying. ‘Not in my wildest dreams have I ever considered he might be inadequate, and I’ve had some pretty wild dreams about him.’ She huffed a deep sigh before taking the shot in one. ‘The issue is more emotional that physical. More that I love him and he sees me as his friend.’
‘It is times like this that I am grateful we have evolved beyond the need for emotional attachments.’ He smiled wonkily, which made sense, as his mouth was at a diagonal like the rest of the inhabitants of this planet. ‘So you have confessed your primitive affections and he has informed you of your unattractiveness to him, and therein lies the problem?’
‘Who has a problem?’ Pidge’s head shot round as Keith sat on the bar stool beside her and she waved at the bartender rapidly while tapping the glass in her hand on the bar.
‘Last one! Let’s go!’
The bartender topped up her drink as Keith spoke. ‘I’ll take the same.’
‘Very well, Paladin of Voltron. And to answer your question, the problem is your small companion here and her unattractiveness.’
Keith blinked twice as he processed that statement before being able to reply. ‘Wait…who said who is unattractive?’
‘Okay!’ Pidge downed her next drink. ‘I’m done and going back to sleep! Night!’ She hopped off the stool and that was her downfall, literally. Her legs buckled under her and she ended up sitting on the floor between the two stools, looking around in confusion before looking up at Keith. ‘You weren’t always that tall, right?’
Keith downed his drink, cringing at the sickly sweet burn that slid down his throat, before swinging his legs off the stool and taking Pidge by the upper arms and lifting her back to her feet, keeping a tight hold in case she couldn’t stay there herself. ‘How many did she have?’
‘Ten. She assured me in great detail that her body mass and lack of stature would allow her to ingest the measure of alcohol she stated.’
‘Gee, you’re pretty.’ Pidge breathed, looking up at Keith in wonder.
‘What do we owe you?’ Keith asked as Pidge wavered in his arms.
The bartender waved his hand dismissively. ‘It is a pleasure to have had the opportunity to serve our saviours in the great war with the galra.’
‘Okay, thanks.’ Keith turned back to Pidge and crouched enough to get on her level. ‘Pidge, can you walk?’
‘Of course I can walk, what kind of a question is that? ‘First I’m ugly, and now I can’t walk. Sheesh!’ She tried to shake off his hold but failed and he sighed.
‘Okay, fine, you can walk. But I’m going to hold your hand, just in case.’
‘Keith’s gonna hold my hand!’ She stage whispered at the bartender as they started forward, making Keith chuckle.
Pidge sucked in a breath as the night air hit her, warm and humid it was like inhaling near an open fire, a shiver running through her body, making Keith stop.
‘You good?’
‘Wow, I forgot how hot you are. It is.’ She rapidly corrected herself. ‘And you don’t have to hold my hand.’ She tried to pull out of his grip but instead he tightened it
‘Either you hold my hand or I carry you. Your choice.’
‘Fine I’ll hold hands but you’re gonna make her jealous.’ She muttered.
Keith didn’t quite catch what she said but at least she wasn’t trying to actively pull her hand out of his. Whatever that drink she had managed to drink ten of made her smell like an alcoholic gummy candy and from the one taste he had could have been used as an industrial solvent. He had no idea what had brought this on, she wasn’t one to even bother with more than one drink at a celebratory event, but she had even gone so far as to calculate her tolerance, if the bartender’s words were true.
‘So, tell me what made you decide to go out and get hammered?’
‘Nah.’ She shook her head, starting their hands swinging between them.
‘I have never known you drink that much, in all these years. Something is bothering you and I don’t like it.’
‘You don’t have to like it, but you do have to live with it.’ She stated. ‘Because the reason I drank so much is so I can forget what I’m trying to forget and not have to discuss it so I’m not discussing it.’
‘But I’m worried about you.’
‘Worry about yourself. Space STDs are at an all time high, I hear.’
‘I’m more worried about you than me…wait what did you say?’ Keith’s head snapped around to find her staring at the ground as they walked, her lips pouting either in concentration or anger.
‘I said SPACE STDS ARE AT AN ALL TIME HIGH!’ She yelled loud enough to turn the heads of a few locals, causing him to tug her in closer and cover her mouth with his hand.
‘That’s what I thought you said!’ He hissed. ‘What does that even mean?’
‘It means you might get cosmic herpes and if your girlfriend is the jealous type I’ll probably get my ass kicked from here to Olkarion.’
Keith pulled her to a stop, turning them to face one another. ‘You really aren’t making any sense.’
Pidge looked at him, or tried to. Her eyes were struggling to focus, but they did so as soon as she spotted the restaurant over his shoulder that she had planned on inviting him to. ‘Oh! This place!’
‘This place has…cosmic herpes?’ Keith asked hesitantly as he allowed her to pull him along.
‘No, burgers! Cosmic burgers!’ She put him in front of the menu board and showed him. ‘Tell me that’s not the menu of a burger joint? Because I defy you to tell me that they sound like the best burgers this side of the Milky Way, or at least the only burgers this side of the Milky Way, and I’m going to vomit.’
Keith finally let go of her hand as she lurched towards the side of the road before throwing up heavily and very vocally behind a tree. ‘Uh…you good?’ He called as she sank to her knees using the tree for support.
‘No, I’m not good!’ She called back, her voice cracking from not only losing everything in her stomach, which was only alcohol, and from the fact she was now tearing up.
Keith walked over to where she knelt and leaned on the safe side of the tree with his hands in his pockets. ‘You know, people generally only drink this much to forget.’ He murmured quietly.
‘Well, it doesn’t work.’ She sobbed, curling over her knees with her hands over her face.
‘Then maybe talking will.’ He suggested as he fished in his pockets for the Altean equivalent of a breath mint, that foamed, cleaned, and freshened all in one little capsule. ‘Here.’
She glanced up, her eyes red and brimming with unshed tears, but soon recognised what he was offering and and took it gratefully. The fruity alcohol had left her with the equivalent of the trick jelly beans Lance had once passed around the garrison. ‘Thanks.’ She shifted to sit crosslegged, not even caring that she was in the street beside her strangely glowing vomit. ‘I was going to ask you to this place, you know.’ She grumbled as she swished the capsule’s contents around her mouth.
He shifted in his position, taking his hands out of his pockets and turning to look down at her curiously. ‘You were?’
‘Yeah.’ She sniffed and dragged her sleeve under her nose. ‘Like a get dressed up just the two of us date and everything.’
Keith processed this information as he realised maybe she felt for him the way he felt about her; more than friends, a closeness he didn’t have with the other paladins, the desire to hold her and be held, to protect and love her. ‘Why, uh,’ he cleared his throat, ‘why didn’t you?’
‘Because I left it too long. Too late.’ She sniffled before pushing herself shakily to her feet.
‘You could still ask. We’re here for a few more days.’ He offered her his hand but she just stared at it for a moment before shaking her head as tears flooded her cheeks.
‘Can’t.’
‘Why not?’ He stepped closer, realising she wasn’t going to take his hand, before wiping at her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. ‘You, me, dinner at a diner? Alone? Sounds pretty good.’
‘Forget it, I don’t get between couples. And like I said, your girlfriend looks like the jealous type.’ She pushed past him and started walking wonkily down the street towards their lodgings, leaving him in absolute confusion. Only a minute later he jogged to catch up with her as he sorted his mind out. She had feelings for him and had wanted to ask him out, but she thought he had a girlfriend. This confused him even more. Unless she was seriously insulting Lance, the only other people she could mean were Allura, Romelle, or… ‘Wait, are you talking about Acxa?’
Pidge rolled her eyes as she swerved into the side street where their inn was located. ‘I don’t want to hear that name. That stupid, tall, attractive name. That stupid, tall, attractive, not-me name. That stupid, tall, attractive, not-me, dating you, name.’
Keith caught her arm, realising something had definitely been lost in translation here. ‘Acxa and I aren’t anything, other than colleagues.’ He told her as she stared at his fingers on her bare skin. ‘Where did you get a stupid, small, beautiful idea like that?’ He turned her words into something about her, at least he hoped she realised it was about her.
‘You think my idea is stupid?’ She pouted, wrinkling her nose in a gesture he could only describe as cute as hell.
‘Yeah, I do. Not you, you’re not stupid, but your idea is.’ He smiled.
‘But I saw you! You were all close and lovey-dovey when you were shopping together! You put your hand on her back like a gentleman, you were laughing and she was giggling, and…and…it hurt!’
‘There’s nothing between me and Acxa.’ He repeated. ‘Because for some reason a certain genius caught my eye and has been living rent free in my head and heart for the last few years.’
She raised her eyebrows in surprise, her mouth forming a small oh as realisation struck her. ‘Matt?’
‘Quiznak, for someone so smart, you really are dumb sometimes.’ He pulled her against him and ducked his head, planting a soft kiss on her lips. ‘I was shopping with Acxa because I wanted a girl’s opinion, or rather the opinion of a girl who was familiar with the situation and could advise me what to buy the team member I’ve been in love with for so long I don’t remember what it’s like not to love her.’ He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and brought out a small, plushie of the green lion, keyring sized, but adorable as hell. ‘What better way to tell you it’s you, than with a mini effigy of your lion?’
She stared at him and then did something completely unexpected. She laughed. The tears that had been drying up beginning to leak out with just how hard she she went, and it was several minutes before she took a step back from Keith and wiped at her eyes. ‘Quiznak, if I’d known drinking so much of this stuff would make me hallucinate I’d have just bought a bottle and stayed in my room! It’s me. That’s a good one, brain!’ She knocked on her temple a couple of times before staggering towards the entrance of the inn. ‘Goodnight, imaginary Keith! Thanks for making my night!’
Hunk trotted down the stairs opposite the entrance and past Pidge, she evidently said something to him as she leaned on the wall and slid her way up, as he frowned before turning to face Keith with a puzzled expression. ‘What was that about?’
‘I just confessed to Pidge and she thinks I’m a hallucination.’ Keith leaned down slightly and watched to make sure she made it up the stairs okay.
‘I can’t say I’m surprised.’ Hunk shrugged as Keith glanced back at him. ‘She’s pretty sure you will never feel the same way she does.’
‘She really does feel that way about me?’ Keith looked back after her in surprise.
‘For longer than you know, man.’ Hunk patted him on the shoulder then looked back at their companion as she slid down to sit on the top of the stairs. ‘And please, this time, you be the one to put her to bed and listen to her whine about how great you are.’
‘She’s done this before?’
‘Go put her to bed, Keith. Stick around. You might be surprised.’ Hunk gave him a wink before leaving Keith watch Pidge lay down at the top of the stairs from her sitting position.
‘Oh boy.’ Keith breathed before running up the steps two at a time, this time not even pausing before scooping her up in his arms.
Pidge snorted awake and looked at Keith from close up, fuzzy around the edges and jiggling with movement. ‘Heeeeeey, it’s dream Keith! Hey, dream Keith.’ She slung her arms around his shoulders and pulled herself closer to him. ‘Did you always smell this good? I don’t remember you smelling this good before in my dreams.’
‘I smell like I always smell.’ He smiled at her. ‘And that’s probably because I’m not a dream.’
‘Hallucination, right, right.’ She corrected herself. ‘So, what kinky shit are we going to do tonight, hallucinatory Keith?’
‘I’m not a hallucination either and…kinky shit?’ He gave her wide eyes of surprise as he realised she had been doing more than crushing on him.
‘Yeah, I know, I have to do all the work, but I close my eyes and there you are!’ She nuzzled into his neck. ‘Above me, under me…down on me…’
‘Okay! Let’s put that to one side for a while, alright?’ He spoke over her as she tried to add another position to her list.
‘Oh, gentleman Keith, this is new. Normally you just rail me. Okay, gentleman Keith. What’s first? Wanna go for alien burgers? I know this great little place,’ she leaned in to his ear and whispered overly loudly, ‘but there’s a tree outside with pink vomit behind it, don’t go there.’
‘You’re going to bed.’
‘There we go! Finally!’ She threw her arms in the air joyously. ‘Where are we going?’
‘My room, I know I have some water pouches in there.’ Keith tried not to be distracted but her lips trailing up his jaw made it hard…difficult! Definitely difficult. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing enough that it caught her attention.
‘Oh, that’s hot, do it again.’ Her tongue lathed his skin as he reached his door, realising he had a problem trying to reach his key.
‘Can you stand for just a second?’ He didn’t give her time to argue and propped her against the wall, holding her in place with his side as he checked his back pockets first, passing the small plush lion between his pockets as he did so.
‘What did you lose?’ She watched his arms moving with absolute fascination.
‘The key to my room.’
Pidge didn’t even hesitate before putting both her hands in his front pockets and rather than feeling around she felt…him.
‘That’s not the key!’ Keith looked down at her as he grabbed at her wrists then swallowed again as she looked up at him over her glasses, grinning with her lip between her teeth. ‘Damn, when did you get so naughty?’ He carefully removed her hands before finding the key and letting them in. He couldn’t say he hadn’t ever fantasised about what she was doing but their first time wouldn’t be when she was impaired. Right now he needed her to sleep and sober up so they could talk, but he had had no idea she had thought of him like this. That alien alcohol had a lot to answer for.
It took some wrangling to get her into the room, and a little more to get her boots off. He sat her on the side of the bed as he did so, then stood to help her under the covers, which was when she wrapped her arms around his neck and dragged him down with her.
‘Bedtime!’ She grinned as he pushed up on one arm, looking down on her as she gave him the most innocent yet sexy gaze he had ever seen.
‘Sleep time.’ He managed to extricate himself from her arms and grab her a water pouch, making her sit up and drink some. ‘I want you to promise me something.’ He sat facing her as she greedily drank the pouch, nodding avidly. ‘That you’ll sleep and then we’ll talk when you’re feeling better.’
‘I feel pretty good now.’ She said around the pouch, dribbling somewhat.
He chuckled at her, sitting crosslegged with flushed tear stained cheeks. He wiped at the side of her mouth. ‘You need to do this with your wits about you, but I promise I will be here when you wake up.’
She lowered the water pouch and wrinkled her nose, looking down at her lap. ‘That’s what you always say.’ She whispered, but in the quiet of the room he heard her easily.
‘What do you mean?’ He took the pouch from her and put it on the table beside the bed.
‘I mean this is how it always goes.’ She sniffed, and he hoped she wasn’t going to resort to tears again. He hated seeing her like that. ‘You tell me you love me and that you’ll stay with me, and then in the morning you’re gone. You’re always gone.’
‘This time it’s different.’ He tucked her hair behind her ear before tilting her head to make her look at him. ‘I give you my word, as a Paladin of Voltron, as a Blade or Marmora, I will be here when you wake.’
‘Uh huh.’ She nodded slightly and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
‘Go to sleep, okay, Pidge?’ He held the covers out for her to settle down. He watched as she wiggled, smiling at the exaggerated movements she gave before covering her gently. ‘If you need anything, I’ll be right here.’
‘Right here?’ She asked, pointing hopefully beside her.
‘You take the bed, I’ll be fine in the chair.’ He indicated behind himself but she shook her head vehemently.
‘Can’t you just hug me til I’m asleep? Please?’
Her voice was so sweet he knew he had already lost, but he was determined not to encourage her in this state. ‘Alright, just give me a minute.’ He was aware of her watching him as he toed off his boots and lowered the lights, ensuring the bathroom door was open and easily accessible should she need it in a hurry, then placing the small plush lion on the table. He lay on top of the covers beside her and offered him his arm. She scooched up close to him almost immediately, wrapping an arm around his waist and sighing contentedly.
‘Thank you, Keith.’ She murmured before yawning widely.
‘Any time.’ He kissed her hair as he squeezed her gently, his other arm behind his head. ‘If you need anything, just shout.’
‘I only need you.’ She hummed. ‘I know we always end up hugging until I fall asleep in my dreams, but like this ending maybe more than the others.’
‘I kinda like it too.’ He admitted, resting his chin on her hair as he decided not to argue the dream part any more.
‘Before this all ends, I just want to say something.’ She yawned again.
‘I’m listening.’
She leaned her head to look at him and he moved to allow her to do so. ‘I love you. I’ve loved you for a stupidly long time but I know you’ll never see me as more than one of the team, and all I have is my imagination that one day this might be real. So, yeah. I appreciate this more than you’ll ever know.’
A lump formed in Keith’s throat as he realised how much she really did love him and how little faith she had that he would ever love her in return. ‘I love you too, Katie.’ He deliberately used her real name. ‘And I will when you wake up, and every day after. But let’s talk about this in the morning when your head is clear.’
‘You said that before too.’ She sighed as she snuggled down against him and closed her eyes. ‘Love you.’
‘Sleep well, Katie.’ He whispered as her breathing deepened, quickly falling asleep.
This evening hadn’t gone how he had planned. He wanted to give her his gift and ask her to join him for dinner. He had no idea she had wanted to ask him the same thing, or that she felt the same way. Instead, she had taken him shopping with Axca as a sign they were together and drank herself into a stupor. He pondered how it was strange how things worked out. How they had both felt the same but neither realised. If he believed in fate, and after all that had happened, all the coincidences in his life, he was sure something existed, this had to be the most memorable he could remember.
Pidge woke with a pounding head and a fuzzy tongue. She managed to crawl out of bed and over the muss of crumpled blankets and into the bathroom without having to open her eyes more than to gauge where the door was and kicked it closed behind her. She went about her business, splashed water on her face, and briefly examined her face, pale skin and sunken, bloodshot eyes. Never again, she decided. It just wasn’t worth drinking this much, no matter how upset she might have been at seeing the man she loved with someone else. She paused long enough to smile for herself about how last night she had dreamt he told her he loved her back, that it wasn’t a dream and that he would be there for her in the morning. It had felt so real that maybe it was worth the hangover after all. Sighing, she decided to spend the rest of the day in bed sleeping things off. She wasn’t needed for anything and honestly, right now, the oblivion sleep offered sounded amazing.
Staggering out of the bathroom she scrunched up her eyes against how gritty they felt. How could they itch and burn at the same time? If she could bear the sunlight she would have gone back to the castleship and shut herself in a healing tube, but for now some water and bed sounded good. She took two steps to the table by the bed and took up the water pouch, draining what was left before putting it back…and knocking something onto the floor. She crouched and picked it up, squinting in the darkness at the small, round, fuzzy plushie that looked just like her lion while trying to remember when she had bought it. It took a moment before parts of the night before came rushing back, including right before she slept. But, that was a dream, right? Right?!
One look at the bed convinced her it wasn’t. Or rather who was on the bed.
The resulting scream of absolute shock was, she would recall later, perhaps the girliest thing she had ever done in her entire life.
Tada! Give me some feedback! I might even be able to continue this into a morning after fic, if anyone is interested!
