Not sure if requests are still a thing with how busy I'm sure you must be, but I'd love a tiny oneshot about some drunk, romancing 'Mon.
Well, from the delay, you can tell requests aren’t my best these days.
Still, I haven’t written any drunk characters before, so let’s see what I came up with and try it out.
Inside of a town tavern, several creatures sat around tablesand by the bar, chattering loudly with one another under roars of laughter. Alarge blue mudfish stared at his third glass of short mead, glancing at thebarmaid that strolled around.
“Strike your fancy, does she?”
He spun around, a bit too quickly, in his seat as a larger, redand yellow chicken-like fellow lumbered over to him. His movement was unsteady,and his head’s feathers were ruffled.
“What’s that now?”
“That, there.” He pointed over to the brown beaver barmaid,who giggled with a few patrons. Knights, by the armor. “She strikes your fancy,does she?”
“Not really,” admitted the mudfish. “I guess she’s cute, butnot my type.”
“She’s part-Water, you know.”
“Not that kind of Type.”
“Oho, I see.” He snickered. “Not clearly anymore, but yeah,I see. Heh.”
“Are you interested in something?” The mudfish dropped hishead on his hand, propped up on the table. “You came out of nowhere to talkwith me.”
“Yeah, actually, I am,” laughed the chicken, as he dragged aseat around and sat back on it. “I’m interested in drinking of course! Haha!”
“But what’s—”
The chicken’s seat tilted too far back and slipped frombeneath him. Crashing against the floor, the seat shattered from the fall andcollision with the table. Laughing, the chicken fell backward.
“Oi, Blaziken!” The bartender, a meerkat, slammed a keg andglared at his patron. “That’s the damn third chair you’ve shorted me in lessthan a week!”
“Ah, I’ll pay up for this one too, pal!” Blaziken chuckledand picked himself up. “You know that even this far gone, I’m good for it.”
“Bah!”
Annoyed, the bartender went back to cleaning glasses,walking away to his next customer. Blaziken dusted himself down and proppedhimself up on the table, as the mudfish blinked at him.
“So, you got my name,” Blaziken laughed. “Mind sharingyours?”
“Name’s Swampert,” murmured the mudfish. “And I’m impressedyou’re actually standing after that one.”
“What, a stumble?”
“A fall.”
“Nah, that was nothing!” Blaziken chuckled again, brushingbehind his head. “Didn’t feel a thing!”
“You will in the morning.”
“Thought you were nursing a drink, not a drunk!” Blazikensmirked at Swampert, who slowly shook his head. “What’s that you’ve got there,anyway? Mead?”
“Yes.” He shrugged. “Not bad, for a tavern.” He blinked andstudied Blaziken, who slid closer and leaned over him. “What did you drink?”
“Me? Wine, of course! Tavern’s best, right?” He snickeredand burst out laughing, stumbling back. “But then again, I’ve had an assortmentof flavors! More like, what haven’t I had, you know? Ha!”
“Then you drank…?”
“Old ale, fine wine, my mead, bit of beer, the lovelieststuff!” He laughed and leaned over closer to Swampert again. “At least, that’swhat I remember, bwahaha!”
“Right, sure.” Swampert took a swig of his mead and set hismug down again. “So, what do you want?”
“More drinks, of course!”
“But why aren’t you telling that to the bartender?”
“He’ll cut me off, like this,” chuckled Blaziken, slidinghis arm past Swampert’s. “Gotta sober up a bit, convince him otherwise.”
“So I see.”
“You do, do you?”
“That much, at any rate.” Swampert shook his head, anddragged his arm from the table. “Don’t know why you’re by me, though.”
“You’re at a bar alone!” Blaziken threw up his armsdramatically, glancing around for reactions. “Don’t tell me that’s how youwanted to spend your night!”
“Not exactly the most social,” confessed Swampert. “Pleasantview, though.”
“What of, a bunch of drunks?” Blaziken raised an eyebrow,but then cracked a grin. “Oh…you like those kinds of fellows, huh? Drunk andoblivious?”
“…Beg pardon?”
“Them fellows, all around.” Blaziken gestured to the wholetavern. “You like them like that, right? So they can’t tell you’re peeking andchecking on them?”
“Why would I do that?”
“If that barmaid don’t strike your fancy…” Blaziken pausedand looked over to her. “Well, she’s not the prettiest to everyone, I imagine,but after you’ve had a few, any gal might work, yeah?”
“Your speech is slurring.”
“I’ve been drinking!”
“Fine, she doesn’t strike my fancy.” Swampert shrugged. “Howdoes that make me—?”
“Gay?”
Swampert’s eyes widened as Blaziken bent down. They watchedthe folks around them, too into their own conversations to have a heard a word.Beaming, the chicken bounced his eyebrows, while the mudfish glowered at him, abit red in the face.
“Caught ya, didn’t I?”
“Not a chance.”
“You’re sweating, and, by your attitude, you haven’t packedas much away as me!” Blaziken stumbled closer to Swampert, nearly on top of himnow. Lowering his eyes, he whispered, “Not obvious to them, but not cleanenough to get away.”
“And just what the hell do you care?!”
With a tightened Swampert pounded his table, and a few headsspun around. His shoulders dropped and he eyed the patrons that gazed at him.Someone whistled, another joyfully shouted, and in a minute, the customersreturned to their conversations.
Darker, Swampert glared at Blaziken, who smugly smiled downat the mudfish. The chicken towered over him, perhaps more than if Swampert hadbeen standing, but enough to force Swampert’s neck up more.
“Seriously,” snapped Swampert, quieter now. “You came overhere. What do you even want, then? To set the whole town against me?”
“If I wanted that, I’d get you branded as a traitor,”snickered Blaziken. “How’s about I give you one good guess about me, huh?”
Shifting his eyes around, Blaziken slumped down, proppinghimself against Swampert’s lap. Glaring, the mudfish quickly glared up at thegrinning chicken.
“Oho…so I know I was right.” Blaziken chuckled, and Swampertwinced at the fowl’s breath. Both were still eying the tavern’s guests betweenglances to one another, but Blaziken rubbed his arm against the mudfish’sshoulder. “How about you? Get it yet?”
“Yes,” snapped Swampert. “And I’m not interested.”
“Only ‘cause you think I’m trying to harass you.”
“You are.”
“Fair enough, I suppose I am like this.” Blaziken quicklystood up and away from Swampert, stumbling back. Jerking forward, Swampertgrabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Seems like you don’t mind much.”
“Would you rather fall?”
“Maybe on you.” Swampert growled and tightened his grip.Blaziken winced a bit, but still smiled. “Ooh, you’re strong.”
“How the blasted hell did you even get here?”
“Walked.”
“To my table? To me?”
“Walked.”
Blaziken laughed as Swampert let go, thrusting the chicken’sarm away from him. Still, Blaziken leaned over against the table again,propping his leg up against the bottom of the chair, between Swampert’s legs.
“Wondering how you struck my fancy, is that it?”
“Just what the hell is it with you and fancying, huh?”
“Don’t know,” laughed Blaziken. He propped his arm up, butslipped on it. “Heh, you are cute though.”
“Great.” Swampert turned away, glancing back at thebartender, who was chattering away with two customers. “What’s his name?”
“Aw, don’t have me taken out.” Blaziken leaned down again.“Not a lot of gay folks around this town, right?”
“Not many anywhere.”
“Exactly.” Blaziken rubbed his leg against Swampert’s.“Damn, but you are strong.”
“Quit feeling me up!”
“But you like it, like me.” Blaziken stepped back, fumblingbut maintaining his balance. “I caught you staring at me more than once. And itwasn’t my lovely face that you kept checking on.”
“That doesn’t mean I want you,” growled Swampert.
“No, but it’s enough to invite me to try.” Blazikenshrugged. “Look, you haven’t got a lot of options around here. Unless you’re—”
“Unless I just got out of a damned relationship, how aboutthat?”
Blinking, Blaziken tilted his head and stared sideways atSwampert, who clenched his hands and inhaled sharply. His glare failing,Swampert deflated as he exhaled and buried his head into the table.
“Come on, big guy.” Blaziken wrapped his arm acrossSwampert’s back, pressing into him. “Now we’re getting somewhere, right?”
“What do you care?”
“You’re too cute and strong to be sad.”
“That doesn’t explain—”
“Because I’ve seen you outside the tavern before,” revealedBlaziken. He chuckled, but frowned as Swampert picked his head up. “BecauseI’ve been meaning to tell you all this crap since I saw you moping around thestreets yesterday. Because I’ve wanted to get you to notice me weeks ago.”
“What…?”
“Forget it,” muttered Blaziken. “Tell you later, huh?”
“No, tell me now.” Swampert folded his arms, watchingBlaziken sway. “You’re not that drunk, are you?”
“Drunk enough to be near you.”
“You’re that traveling flirt, aren’t you?”
“Ah…you know me, then.” Blaziken grinned. “Is that why youwere eying me?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Fine, I was.” Swampert hit the table, with less force, andavoiding attention this time. “So what?”
“So, you noticed me, I noticed you—”
“Why are you invested in me, anyway?”
“Saw you at a tournament, once.” Blaziken smirked. “Saw youselling on the streets more than that.” He frowned and shook his head. “But Ilike strong guys, so I decided to try you out now.” Blaziken folded his arms,slouching his posture. “Been eying you long enough, I’ve got yourattention…that’s not worth a shot?”
“Not like this.” Swampert shook his head, and slowly stoodup. “Sober up, come find me, then we’ll talk more.”
“Is that it?”
“That’s how it starts.”
“Done deal.”
Shaking his head, Swampert walked over to pay, and slowlystrode from the tavern. He glanced back once more, as Blaziken waved to himfrom his seat. Rolling his eyes, Swampert stumbled from the loud noise into thequiet town night.
…
The next afternoon, Swampert pushed his vending cart around,counting the gold pieces he had collected. He rolled it along the streets andpast a few citizens before one blocked his way.
Frowning at the red figure before him, Swampert sighed.
“Can I help you?”
“Well, I’m sobered up enough.” Blaziken smirked. “And nowyou know that I…how did I put it last night? ‘Fancy you,’ right?”
“Yes, that’s how you put it.” Swampert placed his hands onhis hips. “Almost half a dozen times last night.”
“Mm. I apologize.” Blaziken leaned against the vending cartand smiled. “But if you want me to take back my interests in you, I’m afraidthat I am unable to.”
“You’re…sounding a bit more eloquent, at least.”
“I was drunk.”
“So I noticed. Still, I’m surprised that you’re here now.”
“I wasn’t that drunk.”
Swampert lowered his eyes as Blaziken bounced his eyebrows.He shook his head and moved his cart.
“Sorry, I’m not dealing with a heartbreaker—”
“Oh, no. No, no, no. I hate breaking hearts,” insistedBlaziken. “I flirt, I try asking a few fellows out. It doesn’t usually goanywhere.” He sighed and stared into Swampert’s eyes. “You, however, Iembarrassed myself over.”
“…You don’t…usually…?” Swampert shook his head. “No, thebartender mentioned you breaking chairs and getting drunk.”
“This week.” Blaziken shrugged. “And…maybe last week.Honestly, I don’t make much of a habit out of it.”
“Oh no?”
“Mercy, no.” Blaziken smiled and sauntered over toSwampert’s side. “But I…I get nervous with you.”
“Why?” Swampert folded his arms. “I’m just a merchant.”
“A helpful one, and one that I’ve heard praise from.” Heglanced around at passing citizens. “You think of opening a shop?”
“Don’t have the help for that,” murmured Swampert. “I can’tdo all of the work alone.”
“Maybe not alone.” Blaziken scratched his arm. “I’ve beenlooking for a job, recently.”
“Have you?”
“I have.”
“Well…I’ll keep that in mind.” Swampert studied Blaziken,who stood up and sighed. Quietly, Swampert uttered, “…You like…strong guys,huh?”
“Sure do.” Blaziken rolled his arms. “Tough enough myself,but I do have a sweet spot for big guys like you.”
“Uh…huh.” Swampert nodded. “And…you do know that, aroundhere, this town…they don’t ‘fancy’ males that—”
“Like males, yeah.” Blaziken shrugged. “Don’t do it becauseof the lack of options—”
“No, I wouldn’t,” clarified Swampert. “I’m just…curious.”
“So I see.” He tilted his head. “One step at a time, right?”
Quietly, they observed one another again, before turning tocheck on passing townsfolk. Turning back to each other, Blaziken smiled asSwampert nodded, and the two strolled off behind the cart.
Huh. Not the greatest, but kind of cute.
Gave it a shot using some lesser characters of mine. Not sure if I’d call this canon, but it was an experiment.
Hope you liked it, Anon.
