#dry jokes

[perpelspooky]

That face when you dad makes a dad joke or just a very very very dry joke reblog If you have a father

[stressyvdepressy]

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

A Will to Live

A Will to Live who? Sorry, I don’t know you

[theoddbookworm]

OMG CALIFORNIA PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO MUCH, LIKE GURL

Don’t get me wrong, I am LA born and raised and still live here. It is just people here are like, “Omg! I am SO weird! Don’t hate me but I love rainy weather!” 

Like, NO DUH GURL EvErYoNe HeRe WaNtS sOmE dAm rAiN!!! We ArE In aN AcTuAl ReAl SeRiOuS  D R O U G H T fOr ThE pAsT SeVeN yEaRs!!!!

Anyway.. shout out to The Sky, WE NEED SUM RAIN 

[makotoscoffee]

Made a not-so-crappy-but-very-cheesy valentine card

[danule]

Thugger killed his best friend for mix

[letsallbedinosaurs-blog]

Me: you remind me of a vacuum.

Person: how?

Me: u suck

Me: ahahahahahahahahahahaahahaimcooliswearahahahahhahahahaahahahahaha

[doctormongoose]

*Friend says something unfunny he thinks is hilarious*

Me - "You're like a human farce. You're so unfunny you're the thing people use to make fun of things that aren't funny. It's like Fox News minus the production value and racism."

[doctormongoose]

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

literally the worst piece of advice any of my friends could follow from me.

I’ll do almost anything at least once.